This is about the same girl that my last two threads are about, but here's my biggest problem. What do I say to her (after going up and saying "hi"). I get shy and nervous around her, more than usual (as if I didn't have poor enough social skills). I'd go up and say something to her, but nothing comes to my head, I draw a blank.Do most people have this problem, getting really nervous when talking to the person they've liked but haven't said much to before, or is it just me? If I was a little more confident about what I was going to say at first, I know the rest would be alot easier (always that way with me). Oh, and also, for those people who don't know who I'm talking about: I do sort of know her, so things like "Hey, what's your name?" wouldn't work (unless I had memory loss, lol). Thanks for reading this, the responses to my last two threads were great, and this forum has been awesome (the original thread about her was the reason I joined afraidtoask)
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Talking to the one you like
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In reply to:
Do most people have this problem, getting really nervous when talking to the person they've liked but haven't said much to before, or is it just me?
Certainly a large number of people find situations like that quite nerve-racking. It's not so much preparing what you're going to say in advance, just let words flow. Although, it seems in your case you don't have any words flowing. Just remember: don't be afraid of silence and you're not the only one who should be able to strike up a conversation. :grin:
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Females in general like happy confident males. If you can find a subject that you know a lot about and that she may find interesting, talk about that. Don't go on about cars or stereos unless she's into that kind of stuff. See if you can discover something she likes that isn't boring to you. Does she like to ski and you happen to also like it? What about music? Do you like the same kind of music? Don't use a line. Be sincere and be yourself.
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Woot, talked with her quite a bit today. There was another fencing competition (for those of you who've read previous threads, you'll understand). This was just a small in-club one, but that was great since there was more opportunity to talk with her. Unfortunately, due to the fact that I was judging/reffing the younger kids fencing matches for most of the morning, and she was talking alot with her parents later on, I didn't get as much opportunity to just hang around and talk with her as I'd hoped for. Ah well, I'm happy anyways What I'm really hoping for is to meet up with her on the way to fencing. The club isn't all that far away from either of us (she lives somewhere close to me, but not sure exactly where), so she seems to bike most of the time, and I've been running. I'm trying to get over my shyness and talk to her about whatever, whenever there's a good chance.
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In reply to:You gotta be afraid of silence... since if there's silence it's the guy's fault.What I meant is if you're fearing there's going to be a silent moment approaching or whatever in the back of your mind, it's more likely to happen because you're stressing over it. Silences between two people barely getting to know each other is most definetly awkward, but don't let that chain you up when you're talking to a girl. Like ilikekisses said, be confident.
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How much eye contact should I be making? Just wondering, since I read some post a ways back about something similar. About how much of the time should I be making eye contact? Staring straight at her the whole time would get kind of creepy, or maybe those are just my thoughts and it would actually help. I think I do probably look away too much, but I tend to do that with everyone.
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In reply to:
How much eye contact should I be making?
Eye contact is essential. Too little will make her feel like you're not listening. Just go naturally and look at her most of the time or just when she's talking.