i'm pretty upset with my recent diagnosis of genital herpes.
I am not currenty in a relationship but don't know how to approach a new one. I can't even fathom the idea of it. I don't know who to confide in but I feel i need to talk.
I feel like I shouldn't even try.
I fear rejection of course.
I want to be loved and not judged by friends family and possibly a relationship... how do i come clean on this? Who should I talk to? How do I approach dating?
How/when should I reaveal this horrifying detail?
I can hardly admit it to myself.
Who should I not tell.
ugggg I don't know what to do - sometimes it's ok, I know, I know that it's not that bad and I know to go on as before but sometimes it overwhealms me. I feel helpless and doomed to a life of pain and lack of satisfaction if you know what I mean.
Need to talk - pos. herpes
I had a chance of contracting herpes about ten months ago, but luckily I didn't... (Man, did I learn a lesson! It was a one night stand kinda thing, and the condom broke... and then he said, "Hey! I have herpes!" I didn't know enough about this guy, and that was my own fault. It was the first and last one night stand I'll ever have!) I actually just got my blood test back last week. I had it done because everytime I saw a bump or anything I freaked, so my doctor told me just to do it so I could clear my head. Before I got the test I thought about all the things that you mentioned... I don't really think you need to tell anyone, as far as your family and friends go. Unless, of course, you just want to talk about it with someone. Then pick one person that you know will support you. As far as relationships, obviously you need to tell anyone that you have sex with, because even if you don't have a current outbreak or lesions, you can still transmit it through asymptomatic viral shedding. (Which I'm sure you all ready have heard plenty about.) I think that it will indeed effect your relationships, but possibly in a good way. You will get to weed out the shallow, timid and judgemental people... Plus, if you think about it, they say that 1 out of 5 people have herpes... so I'm sure you'll come across lots of people that will have it too. I know how you are feeling; I shared all those feelings when I was unsure of whether or not I had it. All I have to say is that you are definitely not alone, and you will find people who will understand. I recommend telling people that you date as soon as you think that the relationship is heading somewhere, or when the first opportunity for sex arrives. Everyone I've talked to said that over time, your outbreaks greatly dwindle... some people only get one a year... I know people that claim they haven't had an outbreak in several years. Anyway... hang in there. You are not alone and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I am always here to talk about it, if you just want to take a load off. And, 123maggie is great to talk to about herpes. She's had it for like twenty years, and is very knowledgable and supportive. Take care. big hug
bravo, boodiddle! very well written post.
yes, i've had herpes for over 20 years. it sucks at first but you get over it. the sucky part is telling someone, it's hard at first, but definitely gets easier. especially when you tell a potential parner and they reply "i have it too", or, "my last bf/gf had it". actually, having it is really no big deal, for me anyway. outbreaks diminish over the years, and even if you have one it's just a red spot.
search on my previous posts and you'll find some good links that will help you.
I think if my bf or whatever told me they had it I would try to learn as much about it as I could. That way I'd feel comfortable having sex with them.
And like they said it's not all that uncommon. I'm sure there are support groups and you can date someone else that has it so it won't be any big deal.
This doesn't make you a bad person or anything. It's just a disease like any other. It just happens to be on your goodies. Don’t feel bad.
Big, fat, wet, juicy smiles!
If its the dating part of life that is really bothering you now, dont worry, you will find someone who loves you for you. Most importantly, I want you to love YOU. You need to know that this does not make you any less of a person.
Depending on your dating style, you might look for another person who knows he or she has herpes, if only to avoid having to discuss it. If you already use dating services or personal ads, you can also use any of those specifically for people with genital herpes. There are lots of [online herpes dating sites. (edited by readytogo--please do not post links to dating sites)
Hello everyone .. i love to find people with herpes STD.. Do you know how do find singles like us, beautiful STD women/girls ..(link removed by readytogo--links to dating sites not permitted)