I'd just like to get this off my chest.
At the start of the year me and a few friends discovered we could get into bars and go drinking. We started to do this every weekend. It ended up whoever I was going with, the same two girls would be with me (one of which I had been insanely in love with for a considerable amount of time, but she really wasn't interested in me past friendship). The fact we were always in bars made it very hard for me because countless guys she knew and liked were always coming up and talking to her while I was silently dying inside. Then there was one guy she really liked and told me all about (I was a friend she could telll anything to). I felt like dying. They kissed a fair few times, right in front of me and I had to grin and bear it. Luckily, this eventually fell through.
Then, out of nowhere an old flame of her's appeared. He was the typical bastard who slept with girls and treated them like crap, just because he could. She was nuts about him and he was nuts about her. Here's where it gets a little more complicated. She had another friend who I haven't mentioned yet who also really liked him and wanted him for herself, eventually she had to move abroad and slept with him them night before she did move. That was the bastard out of the way. My friend (The one I was in love with) and her friend (the one who was moving) fell out. To help my chances with the girl I liked, I refused to ever talk to her friend again, and haven't since.
And now comes my darkest hour. I lose all hope. The bastard got another girl for his tally, I'm still in love with my friend and I've no chance of getting her. This puts me into a downward shame spiral and I refuse to go out for months and will hardly talk to anyone about anything, generally depressed all the time. On top of this my parents are alcoholics and my father enjoys drinking almost every night, and shouting his lungs out at me about what a loser I am until the early hours. My friends were all really worried about me and eventually I (kind of) accepted I'll never make it with the friend I am in love with. Now comes the twist, and oh by golly it's a good one.
Remember the other friend I was originally going drinking with? (the one I wasn't in love with?) Well she was the one who reached out and rescued me from my shame spiral and started going out with me (as friends) almost every week. I really start to like her and I think she likes me too, this is still going on(although her interest seems to be fizzling out) and I'm planning to see a result by the end of the year.
Last week I was stabbed in the heart. I make a now rare appearance at a bar with some friends and the one who I loved so much is there. The bastard is with her. The are just acting as friends but I think I can be forgiven for thinking there's more going on. I know they've been in the same place at least three times in the last week. It's killing me imagining them together. Tonight a girl is having a party and they should both be there, I fear they are having sex at this very minute, I wouldn't bet against it. Now I'm right back where I was, she's in the arms of a bastard, I'm sitting alone on a Saturday night.
The only difference is this time there are two of my closest friends who I want, but will probably never have.
Thanks for reading.
I'd just like to get this off my chest.
maybe you need to try and get over her.. and yes it will be hard.. but you were there for her.. through so much.. and you went through so much shit that she put you through.. and now .. she cant be there for you..
you could have something good with this other girl.. i would advise you to hang with her more often and see where things go..
Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
Dude, don't worry about the girl who is with the "bastard", in my experience, girls tend to go with the stranger/ex/bastard, rather then date someone they deeply trust and hang out with. They're like employers, and you're there for a job interview, you have a perfect resume, all the necessary skills; they choose to pick the guy who is less qualified and experienced over you, BUT they'll use your resume as a comparison for all other resume's, they'll also want to be able to call you at night so they can complain about the guy they did hire over you, so...the best thing you can do, is forget about them and try to find someone who is extremely close to what you want in all aspects in compared to what you see in the girl you're in love with. Then, when she sees how good a boyfriend you are, it'll be too late and you'll be extremely happy.
Beware the white text!
--consider that your disclaimer.
Well I was with the other girl tonight, the one who I thought I had a chance with.
I thought as an innocent sort of test I would link arms with her just to see how she reacted, and wow
I've never seen someone need something from the inside pocket of their coat so desperately.