Depressed.. My fucking worthless cock sucking father comes home.. starts yelling at me about his fucking battery.. BLAH BLAH BLAH.. Now im so fucking depressed.. i think my 6th attempt will be soon.. and it will be final attempt.. YES FINAL.. The pain is unbareable.. It only gets worse.. there are periods thats it ok.. but it continues to get worse.. FUCK LIFE.. I dont care.. FUCK HIM.. FUCk my whoel family
-
Just like that
-
Calm down man, Sounds like you need some time away from the cocksucker. If you can just leave for a weekend and have some fun or do anything that makes you happy.
-
One day you'll be free of your father, FaBMX. You'll have your own money and your own house and you'll never have to see him except when you choose yourself to see him. Live for that day - it will come.
-
Cause i borrowed his battery a week ago.. till i got a new one.. well.. i sat it in front of the garage.. and he got all pissed off.. I want to kill him so bad.. I feel so lonely in this world. My best friend went on IS.. I know he has a pre written sucide note.. and he has had attempts.... Im afraid i can loose him at any minute.. My dad is a prick.. you know.. I feel so lonely.. Like there is no one .. Lonely world.. and I'm fighting it alone.. Struggling to survive.. On a daily basis..
-
KICK HIS ASS (jk)
-
Oh no.. Got bad.. very bad... Dad is talking about moving 600 miles away.. so he is closer to his family.. I dont want to.. That will suck.. my life is here.. not there.. Stupid fucker
-
It might be just talk.
-
FaBMX you know that feeling you have being so scared to lose your friend. You no how many people have the same feelings about you as well and how much pain that talk causes. So many people love you. Your father is a prick I think we all realize that here. Mines not much better but its what you do with the situation. you'll be gone soon and then he'll just be a bad memory like a nightmare replaying in your head eventually you may even forget. As for the moving it might be just talk. My dad was always like "oh we are gonan send you to military school" or "we are sending you away with a foster family" for basically doing absolutly nothing wrong. So it may just be the same with you.
-
Its because his family is up that way.. He said the weird thing to me this morning when he was taking me to school.. He goes I'm sorry for yelling at you.. He goes i didnt feel well.. and two of my sisters dont have very much time left here. I go.. Its ok.. Kinda weird..
-
What does he mean by his sisters? Are they sick? sucidial? leaving for school even?
-
See my post in 'cancer' One is dieing of lung cancer.. another one has a rare kidney diease.. Kinda all at once .. He brought it up to me today.. He is 110% serious.. He actually has it planned out on how we can afford it and all This sucks balls.. But.. Im telling everyone..Cause any other time we talked about moving.. I would tell everyone and it wouldnt happen
-
I have been able to throw sucide around the last week.. So easily.. I dont know whats up.. I guess I'm just getting lonely and lonelyer... I dont know anymore.. If we move.. My depression couldn't handle it.. I can guarntee it.. It would be like 600 Miles from where i live now.. So i cant just easily visit my friends.. It would be.. Have to make new friends.. I dont think i could honestly put as much trust as i have with my current set... I dont think i could live through it.. I would end it.. I know it.. First week there.. all these new people.. whole new set of requirments for school ( maybe even behind ).. I would die.. Litterally.. Just hope it dosn't happen
-
I also hope it doesn't happen.
-
Life is worth more than anything in this world. Even love, which IMO is the reason for life. Live your life and you will find love... one day.
-
You never know. Maybe a new beginning would do you good.
-
Continues to get worse tonight.. Seems like no one wants anything to do with me.. Like i just bother anyone.. Guess what.. I will get out of there way..FOREVER... I hate my school. I fucked up cause im a moron by not going on home studys.. Im smoking more and more now. ( cigs ).. Its so hard to stay focused when your so depressed.. Now im getting into cigar smoking... As soon as i can get some weed.. other two will be set aside.. but its so hard.. I just dont care anymore.. I want to die.. I want to kill everyone at my school.. I seems to be like the counselur/doctor for EVERYONE.. But they dont know how fucked up i am.. Everyone comes to me for help.. my cell phone is doing this or that.. my computer does this or that.. right here hurts... my gf/bf did this what does that mean? All the time.. Which i dont mind because i can usually point them in the right direction.. But still.. I get more and more depressed each day.. today in class i was wondering where i could stab myself so i could die right there in class.. or kill some of them.. It seems like im a fuck up to everyone ... Im the 16 year old.. with no GF.. Who knows to much about cell phones.. and never goes out on the weekends.. Thats me.. I talked to her Y.. She dosnt want a relationship right now.. So were chilling with that... I get more and more lonely each and every day.. Cheerful music dosn't do it for me... depressing music neither.. Both i could commit sucide to.. My friend loves his GF.. He is happy.. Other friends .. happy with current situation... ( be it with a bf or not )... Now.. Im totaly becoming un horny.. Masturbation hasnt been doing it for a few weeks.. so i stopped... Sex seems like a chorse.. so dont even want it.. Chicks with a nice rack dosn't even get me to look.. chicks with nice ass's ( MY FAVORITE THING ) dosnt even get me to look.. If i do.. Its just blah.. I feel empty inside.. I dont care what anyone thinks anymore... Im having stomach problems.. having frequent headaches.. cant seem to get to sleep at night anymore... and im out of cigerates.. i need some.. but only have a cigar.. .. Oh well.. It will work.. Its suck a weird depressed.. Cause im depressed without being depressed... Im in an ok mood.. But i just want to commit sucide.. I used to bust into tears at the thought of sucide .. but now i laugh.. thinking.. how happy i will be.. and how these fucks will feel so bad for putting me off.. making fun of me.. Saying there just to busy for me.. I seem to care more about other people then i do myself ( Look at what i do for people.. yet im so fucked up myself ) .. I dont know guys/gals.. I guess this is just a venting session.. as i smile at another thought of sucide... HAHA
-
Now im smoking a cigar.. damn.. That was a long post
-
Neither of you are a burden. Trust me.
-
In our personal lives we are
-
IMO, talking to people through the net is personal. Sometimes people forget their talking to other real people. Among the regular posters on this site, we all spend our time writing to each other. If that's not personal, I'm not sure what is.