Hi.Some of you will know my story. If you don't then if you could be bothered you could research it on this message board.Anyhow, things have just come to a head, and after realising i still love L, she has turned to me and rejected me flat out. Also several of my friends have resorted to doing what they can to make my life a misery, generally by revealing some of my closest secrets to the world.Now I'm stuck with few friends, and the impending threat of eviction from my home.I'm seriously considering suicide.I'm out of alternatives here. There is no-one I can talk to. No-one who can help me.I'm stuck.I want out.What do i do?
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I'm in need of urgent help
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try 2 stay strongi would hate 2 lose you .. and i'm sure others would 2hi! :: hugs :: love ya
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I know how you feel. Believe me or not, I do know.
You don't need to hear any "darkest before the dawn" or "siver lining" bull shit. What you do need to know is what you will miss out on if you take your own life.
If either of my attempts were successful, I would have never seen my own eyes in the face of my little boy nor known his unconditional love.
I would never have known the love of the sexiest girl I've ever met i.e. my wife. Frankly, I would have also missed out on the 20 or so sexy girls in between those days and meeting her.
Whatever your primary motivation in life is, there are many related rewards to come. If you check out now, you will miss them all.
There are people who care about you, think of them aswell.
My mailbox is open. -
the whole forum`s open ...
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that was kinda rude..
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Well...I'm still here, just about.Nothing has changed, in fact it's probably got slightly worse.I'm not sure how things are going to play out at present. I don't really feel that I have anything to live for, and anything I do seems to upset or anger people.I feel empty, alone and worthless. It's like being kicked in the stomach at full force.I don't know what to do with my life any more.I havem't spoken to anyone in 3 days and no-one has noticed. Maybe I'm better off gone. At least then I'd be doing my part for the environment.
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Lives take unexpected turns sometimes, especially if you let them.Don't look for girlfriends just now - look to help yourself first. What sort of things matter to you?
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I’ve been told, so many times, that god has a plan. I have this picture in my head of standing at the pearly gates, chatting with Peter, and god walks by. He sees me, covers his face and walks away quickly, muttering “aw shit, I don’t want to talk to that guy!”Yes, he should be ashamed!Just hang in there man! Nothing good or bad lasts forever. Only death is eternal, so you can’t change your mind!
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Everybody goes through a time in their life where they feel like the just want to end it all, but like i've said before and i'll say it a thousand times more if i have to "trouble don't last always was born in the heart of the ghetto of Chicago, both parents drug addicts to this day, foster child, abuse, etc. But nobody can destory b/c like someone else said in this thread God has a plan. One thing that has always helped out of the dumps is some good ole down south gospel music and "The Footprints"..."Looked saw one set of footprints in the sand, that he was alone, but that is when the Lord carried him. "The Battles Is Not Yours" By Yolanda Adams download that song even if you don't listen to gospel it really helps me the lyrics are awesome. BenzoThe battle is not yours it's the Lords.
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Sorry but I'm atheist. The reason? What sorta God would let this sorta stuff happen to me? I haven't sinned or done anything terrifically wrong, so why should I be punished.Either that or we have a VERY angry God who smites people at will...Personally I just think life is crappy.
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Not saying God in particular, but whatever higher being you believe in if any. I'm not a Bible thumber, but maybe that's just it, maybe you need to believe in something. I believe in the Holy Bible and it gives me a profound reason why bad stuff happens so I don't question our sick sad world,Sorry.
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Part of the problem there is that I don't have any reason to believe in anything. I don't see what good it would do me. To me, saying " made that bad stuff happen" is just trying to find an excuse.
It's just plain bad luck, and I have plenty of it to go around.
Everyone I know says I'm the most unlucky person they've ever met.In fact I was having a very similar conversation with someone yesterday, about born again Christians, or similar type people, who have had bad things happen, and all of a sudden decide to believe in Christ as a last resort in the hope that it might save them.
I don't buy that. If I were to start believing in God in the hope that good stuff happens to me, and things start looking up, then God is a pretty nasty piece of work, in all his "eternal love" to smite people just for not believing in him.
If that were true, then I don't want to believe in him! Smite him back! Things couldn't get much worse!Anyhow that's just my two pennies.
Anyway, things haven't got any worse, but not really much better either. I guess I should be happy that I've found a rut to sit in...
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I had to reply to this post, as i feel the same way you do, i don't beleive in god, ever since my daughter, was born blind and nearly died - I spent 8 weeks with her in intensive care and finally figured out that my life is down to ME - not any partner, not my family, and certainly not god - but me......I suffered from depression for 2 years after she was born (shes 8 now) and lost my husband because of it - and just over a week ago she ruptured her eye, and tho the doctors are doing everything to save it, I think it will have to be taken out - but at the end of the day, I cope, because i know I can....You are strong, stronger than you think, you just have to realise that - if you need to talk please do it - hugs - Angel xxx
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Just trying to help here: I "was" in a similar place, as you are now but 35 years ago. I pushed and pushed ,until I got to a place I needed to be. If, it wasn't for a caring cop, I wouldn't be here now (he grabbed me before I jumped). He actually visited me in the suicide ward! I thought ,shit, a total stranger cares enough ,about this piece of lowly pond scum, to talk to me! He did this on his time off! No family ever came by but he did. Not his job but he cared. He got me angry enough to realize that I wasn't a piece of crap! When, I got out there was only one thing to do. Hit life head-on and deal with it! I only concentrated on me and no one else. Sounds selfish but that's what I needed to do. I took small steps, in order to not get overwhelmed and pushed through it.I'm proud of what I did and I am still fighting (at 52) but it's a good fight! Life is essentially good now and I have most of the ammenities life can afford: An absolutely awesome wife, home, property, family (her's), killer job and tons of friends. Just my opinion: Life is only as tough as you want it be! You are worth it and nobody can take that away from you! Kick some ass and do what you need to do to make "this" your life. Screw the therapists. They're crazier than the people they treat and forget the drugs. You seem to be a very intelligent guy, by the way you express yourself. Don't give up now. Bang your head against a wall, if you have to, just don't give up PLEASE! Rewards will come.
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Everyone has their reasons for believing or not believing that's cool. I agree with you when you say life is only as hard as you make it. Everything is what you make it to be. Like the old saying..."When life gives you lemons,make lemonade"!