Alright, I'm kind of in a tough spot right now. I've accepted it, I have a jealousy problem. She has never cheated on me, nor would she, and I haven't ever in any relationship. I get simply infuriated when my girlfriend talks about how her ex is her best friend and it drives me bonkers when she goes out for the day with him and the two of them have a blast. It's gotten to the point were I have asked for her to stop telling me about him and only mention him if the two of them are going out somewere. I think our relationship was hanging by a thread on Christmas Eve when this huge discussion took place... shittiest timing ever. Now I havn't mentioned any of this because I know how fragile we are and I know how stupid it is of me. But she works with a guy who is taller, fitter, and probably better looking then me. He is a Christian with a great sense of humor. I myself am short, decent shape, average looking, Christian, with a great sense of humor so I obviously do not feel I can compare to this guy. Whenever she gets home from work and phones me she and talks about him non-stop until I steer the conversation elsewere. It erks me constantly because she always seems to have another charming story about him coming to her rescue at work, or handling customers candidly, or being humorous over things.I know why I'm jealous and that's because I have very low self confidence and have many relationship insecurities from the past. She is my first real love and I know being the way I am that 99% of the women out there my age wouldn't click with me, I guess I'm a flake because I don't like to party and get drunk. I fear losing her so much that I can't seem to him smothering her, I often wish she had no desire in befriending other men. She is also very very slow about relationship progression, it's been nearly 7 months and only recently could she say "I love you" only after I've said it and with the stipulation afterwards "But that doesn't mean I'm going to marry you." even though I've never mentioned marriage and made it perfectly clear I wasn't even thinking of it. And I know she's cluelessly innocent in all of this. She has never gotten along with girls... ever. She doesn't make friends easily either. She has one girlfriend, her ex, and this guy from work. Maybe I'm also on edge because he has many of the qualities I do and then some, plus she clicked with him right off the bat instead of her following her usual caution about things.My question is, How can I stop being jealous?! I mean I bet other boyfriends out there wouldn't care at all if this happened to them, and I envy them! My girlfriend isn't doing anything wrong and I feel I am destroying my otherwise happy relationship with an incredible woman!I am desperate, I think I might need to see a pyscologist but can't due to the fact it would be far too embarrasing to mention to my parents whom I live with still (i'm 18), and she would think I was crazy (which I probably am), and the fact I don't have the money.I literally break down now when I think about how pathetic I am... please help me.
Honestly, I'm not a very jealous person but if I was put in that situation I would probably find myself being urked as well. It would be one thing if she had a lot of friends... but if all she has are these people then I'm not sure what you can do other than find some way to deal with it. If she's not around and you feel like your brain is running 1000mph then stop, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. If you haven't found your way to deal with it, then you may have to look toward a scary thought."Is this relationship healthy for me? Would I be happier in a different relationship?"The answer is always murky. It always is when you're in love with someone.
Open yourself up to her and explain these strong feelings you have for her, and the way it's driving you crazy. Maybe she'll understand you better and be able to help you overcome your jealousy.
Neo-Cortex, Frontal LobeBrainstem! Brainstem! Hippocampus, Neural Node, Right Hemisphere...
Jealousy usually stems from a lack of confidence, in either yourself, your partner or your relationship.
You compare yourself to others in the post, and yet, she is with YOU not them.........she talks to you about her ex etc.......to me if she were 'up to something' she wouldn't ever mention him! She obvously doesn't see there is anything to hide from you!
Jealousy is a hard thing to over come.......if you ever can........love yourself a bit more, she obviously does, and enjoy what sounds like a great relationship :smile:
Get a taste of Old Time Religion..........lick a witch grin
It's obvious she has issues with attention. I mean her telling you about all these guys she's buddy buddy with are ways to show you, I could get a guy other than you, so show me some attention. Either that or she's trying to hint to you that she's tired with the relationship. How do you know she wouldn't cheat on you? If I was dating someone, I don't think I'd be having so much fun with my ex unless we were doing something sexual. Her receiving attention and needing it all the time must just mean she's insecure. The reason why a lot of girls don't get along with other girls is b/c they're constantly competing for men's attention. It's okay for you to be jealous, any normal human being would be. Afterall, we are animals. OUr animal instincts come out. I don't know of any other guys that wouldn't get pissed off by that. I think she's the one with issues, not you, so don't feel bad. That's just the impression I get from what you've said.
People come, people go.