I've been feeling increasingly empty and lost for over half a year now. I feel sometimes like all of my emotions have died and I will sit here for hours, sometimes spending half a day or more browsing random sites, forums, listening to music over and over when I have things to do that need to be done. I feel like I'm losing touch with everything I used to know and the strong sense of individuality that pushed me through my most depressing times a couple years ago (seriously hard school year on me where I was the target of constant harassment through out every hour of the school day for the entire year, and it seriously hurt me in a way that I'd never felt before - briefly contemplated suicide but decided that would be the weak way out that would just hurt the people I care about). I felt strongest the year after that, striving to overcome weakness, although to still be a better person than "they" were.I don't know... nothing makes me inredibly happy, nothing makes me incredibly sad, I don't get angry the way I used to... I feel confused and frustrated on the inside, but don't know how to express it or relieve myself of it. I have brief moments where I feel the strong feelings I have for this one girl, and I still think about her all the time, but I don't feel that as much as I originally did either. I wouldn't say it's because I have my emotions under control or anything, it's awful... I hate this. I have such a longing for the way I used to feel... it's like a part of me has died.I feel weak, and incapable of overcoming obstacles. I've been setting up this fake wall, the way I talk, act, laugh. The jokes I laugh at... it's just habit, most of the time it doesn't actually seem that funny. When I do this I act more stupid and extroverted... and although I've been struggling with social situations for my whole life, this wasn't the way I wanted to end up acting.Marks haven't been improving at all, which has been one of my goals this year. I just don't want to face not being able to do it right, so I don't. I feel more socially isolated now that I'm not acting as quiet and shy, which was the complete opposite of my efforts. Most of all, I feel a longing for the way things were and that's caused a hopeless spiral that hasn't lead me anywhere.Imagine a depression that you don't feel on the surface, but it runs so deep that it feels like you're nothing on the inside... incapable of strong feeling and incapable of recalling what used to be your strongest morals and justices. I feel far more empty and weak, in all aspects except physically, than the way I used to feel only a year ago. I was so much more confident and ready to overcome obstacles last year.Maybe sitting here, spending hours doing absolutely nothing, listening to the songs that used to inspire me, and trying to recall old experiences is just my way of coping... but I hate it. I want to feel stronger than I do now, although I feel suppressed - set up to fail. I just... feel so empty.I just need to express this... and I thought that this would be the best place. I hate acting so fake with others, but I don't think anyone wants to talk to an unresponsive person who has nothing to talk about and doesn't seem to care. I would rather be cold, and distant than this way if it was what I needed to do to truly express myself and get over this.Sorry it's so long, I just really needed to say this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Usually, the only time I feel hopeful and happy is when I'm talking with one of my best friends (isn't quite the same with all of us hanging out together), or when I'm around this girl that I have these strong feelings for.
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Feeling empty inside
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I have to say i know just how you feel........I felt the same way a few years ago......I am a very outgoing bubbly person, and tho at the time, on the outside I still was, underneath I was dead, like you say, an empty shell......everything was an act, no one had any idea!I so wanted to feel again, feel anything at all, but I couldn't......I was cold to my then husband (we divorced since) I was cold to my kids......and nothing I did would help!But, you WILL come through this, you WILL get back to 'normal', you WILL be stronger for going through this......it just may take some time.Except what you are feeling now.........things will get better, and if you need a shoulder to rant on, feel free, I am a good listener hugs
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I definitely understand how you feel. I had a disasterous student teaching experience and I haven't felt the same since. I had trouble finding a decent job and I worry that I may never get out of my rut. I also lost a friend last year to suicide. Why do you feel this way?
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Thanks for the supporting comments. I just... don't know what to do about it. Part of the problem is that I feel so awkward socially no matter what I do, and although I'm better at communicating with others than I used to, it's far from being one of my strong points. I feel like I act stupid and allow myself to be walked over, but at the same time I want to continue to be the polite guy that some people see me as.I want to feel like myself, and act the way I naturally want to... without coming across as distant and cold. I think this is one of my problems. Other than that, it's just been something that I haven't had alot of control over, and I've been feeling more conflicted with myself about how I should present myself, spend my time, open myself up to others, or whatever else. More than anything... I think this is because of the way I was treated a couple years back, I hate being taken advantage of (in essence, planning behind my back), insulted, or just not treated with the same respect that a person would show to anyone else. I'm sick of being stuck between trying to be respectful and courteous to others the way I'd want to be treated, yet being strong and independant (which unfortunately ends up being more ignorant and rude rather than self-reliant and in control of my situation) the way I want to be.Hope that also helps to answer why I feel this way. I haven't really talked about this with anyone before, and it feels good to get my thoughts out, thanks for reading
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Hi, im new here but i have been reading this board for a couple of months now and i just now decided to register!Well man honestly i can relate to you i really can! The thing you need to do is forget the past, forget the crappy experiences and remember what you truly like to do and how you truly like to feel. Try to recall when this all began, sometimes it can run really deep but you have to go there before you can start feeling better. You really have to ask yourself the important questions and find the real problems. Its easy to drown these problems and we all have our ways of doing it but the longer it goes on the deeper you will have to dig to get out of this. Try to wake up every morning with good thoughts and same thing before going to bed. Try to stay focused on getting better and dont let yourself drown in all this. I know its hard and im not even sure i make sense to you but i really hope you can make it out ok!Good luck man and dont give up, theres a solution to all the problems you can have, the hard part is having enough willpower to find it!P.S. Dont take my nickname the wrong way (im not perfect , im just a perfectionist so my friends called me Perfekto and it stuck with me )
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Thanks for the suggestions, it's been helpful. I'm far from feeling 100% better, but I definitely do feel a bit better than I did when I made this post. I'll try to improve all of the things that I have power over in my life in hopes of solving as much as I can.
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Good luck man and dont give up, theres a solution to all the problems you can have, the hard part is having enough willpower to find it!
Really positive reminder :grin:
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i know EXACTLY how you feel! really man,except im overly emotional,i sit for hours and let myself die,remembering feelings and memories,but i know,feeling dead,wearing a maskto others,hidding who you really are,being someone your not,i know what it feels,never happy,im always sad though,but i know what it feels,to never hate and never love,i dont think i even love my own family,i dont know what to do either,listening to music for more than half the day,sometimes,i say a prayer,and it helps,you should try it,even if youve never talked to G-d before,or even if you dont even believe in Him,you should try to once,tell Him how you feel,i promise youll feel better
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i think this thread might be pretty old, but i just want to tell RobBob that i have been feeling the same way for almost 2 years now. i know what set it off, but it doesn't feel right to blame any person or incident. i just feel off and very much not myself, and really alone in feeling like this. i have been taling to a therapist recently, which seems to be helping, but i just wanted to tell you how much it helped me to hear that someone else is going through the same thing. feeling isolated seems to compound everything and being able to identify with what you wrote, just somehow helped. so thank you for this post. i bet i'm not the only one who thought this after reading it.
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honestly, i think a lot of ppl are depressed b/c of the weather and season. I mean once spring and summer come around you'll find new inspirations, new motivations, and new opportunities to have fun. Keep ur chin up, there's always something better to look forward to.
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Hey man, although I'd love to say I know exactly what you are going through, but the truth is I don't, all I know is that i've experienced something similiar; and I want to share to you how I dealed with it. I used to be made fun of alot because of the way i'd do things and I was really shy, but came to high school and i realized i can't go through life without expressing what I really want to say, so i thought "what's the worst that could happend if i say something i wanted to say", then I started to change, and I hanged out with the so called "popular" group a lot, and what I came to realize is that they are not worth my time, and neither yours. They are mostly jerks who thinks they are better than everyone else and are only friends with each other so that they can be popular, but at the end of the day I realized that the ones that are gonna be there for me are my friends, and you want to be with real friends because eventhough high school is a once in a life time experience, it's only a very small part of your life, step in the right direction and you will be there one day. Right now I am too going through a depressing period with no particular reason, eventhough everything is going fine, i just feel lost, hope you can read my post "Feeling sad and don't know why", may be we can help each other out. Remember my friend: ask yourself what do you really want, and if you feel so overwhelmed, take a step back and let God handle it, gave your troubles to him and he will help you to get through, and of course you can talk to your close family members or your friends. And if you like you can definitely talk to me about it.I know you will get through this.
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I have a similar problem to you. I use to be a very happy person as a child always laughing and being abel to get happy from the slightest things. But now everythings changed everything makes me sad from the moment i wake up in the morning i feel terrible.I get like a sinking feeling in my chest and its a terrible feeling. I get depresssed over the slightest thing that happens in my life.I am very negative and can nevr see a positive side to anything.Its like im not emotionally capabel of coping with anything bad. I can never get over bad things that have happened in my life.I have a lot of regret that i dont think is possible to ever forget and i hate that.Regret is why im feeling like this now and its somthing i can never change. I really dont know what to do. SOmetimes i get so emotional my friends, family & boyfriend think ive completly lost it. I hate the way I have become. If you or anyone is going through anything similar or wants to talk please email me.. buni65@hotmail.com cheers all
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How old are you?