Ok, this is going to be long, do not jump to conclusions before you completly read my post.
I will first start out saying that I just turned 15\. I have had a very troubled child hood and have been sort of a loner.
Now, to my question. I am questining my sexuality. I remember back when I was 5 and 6 I had a friend and we played "docotor" for about two years until he moved. We never touched each other but we just played around, not knowing what we were doing. When I was 13 one of my best friends came to my cottage for a week. My parents weren't around a lot and we started to jack off together. Then I gathered the courage to ask him if he wanted to jack me off and I would to him. He agreed and we did. Next month when we went to our cottage he asked if I would suck him if he did to me. I also agreed because I wanted to know what it feeled like. We sort of started and didn't really like it that much (I didn't). So we just jacked each other off for awhile. Ever since then we haven't talked or anything, I know I felt guilty about it and he probably did to.
Now I just had a new friend sleep over last night and he brought some porn mags, I never knew he was going to. We jacked off together (not showing anything, under covers) and I felt like asking him if we could jack each other off. I didn't ask though. He is a year younger than me and he already needs to shave often, im just starting to need to. I was curious about how hairy he was down there.
I do like girls though. I haven't had the courage to ask a girl out though. There is this one girl in a lot of my classes but I just can't seem to ask her. I would really like to go out with her though.
Now this is where it gets confusing. I sometimes get an erection over guys when I dont' want to. It is like my brain wants me to be gay, but I don't want to be. Everytime I get some gay sexual thought I try to get rid of it. Just the fact I get these thoughts, scares me. I really don't want to be gay.
I have thought that I could be bisexual, but I dont' even want to be like that. It seems, nasty!
Since I don't want to be gay/bi, is it just my brain confused, or am I actually gay/bi? I have read over the internet and these forums and my questions aren't answered. I don't know if there is a difference between liking a guy and getting an erection over him, and wanting to actually like him and get an erection. I just dont' want to be gay. So, what do you guys think. Sorry for the long message.
Confused 15 year old guy....
Ok, this is going to be long, do not jump to conclusions before you completly read my post.
As I have said in other posts, you are not gay (or bi for that matter) unless you choose to be. Your thoughts are completely normal. And as for getting a girlfriend (or girls to look at you) just be a sweetheart. This entails flattering them, tell them they are hot, ask them what their favorite color is, anything that they might see as being sweet. I'm telling you, sweet-talking works. Just go with what's natural and you'll be alright.
Thanks SuMadre. I would still like some other input though.
Also, thanks for the tips I will try to be a "sweatheart"
Yea well I'm going through the exact same thing. I sent you a PM. Theres an article on this exact thing btw. Yea and I'm a total "sweetheart" since i'm really considerate and open-minded to girls, which is why my best frends r girls and a lot of girls do like me. Although I have one eye this one girl and yea anyways off topic. Like i said i'm going through the same thing, and it might be hormones, your social life or it may be because since what you said you know only your organ (penis, cock, dick, call it what you want) so you tend to go for people who are more like you since your dick and ur brain are thinking for themselves.
In reply to:
As I have said in other posts, you are not gay (or bi for that matter) unless you choose to be
I don't believe in that, if your gay/bi... your always like that... I know I was bi sicne I was like 7..
I use to have the same problem as you do... I had a friend and we would always play with each other, then we started jacking off with eachother, then we jacked off each other, and then we sucked each other (69's sometimes too). We always wanted to do it with someone else but we could never ask anyone... After a while we stop hanging out because it was getting too "gay" and thats when I wasn't comfortable with who I am. Now, I would do him everyday if I still could... So I say ask your friend :wink:
Ok well i know what ur going throuhg (most of it i did tha same thing with my buddie when ever we whent in my hot tub when we were young)
OK first off for the other membersgood imput BUT
on the sweet hart thing dont tell them they are "HOT" trust me man its just not going to work being that open and honest.
you have to slowly get know them talk to them lots and yes be a sweet heart ask them any thing and some things that normaly people dont ask (somthing that mabey only that girl is into and she feels like she cant connectwith any one else on that topic like the girls here none of the guys exept me know lots about rodeo things like barrel racing)
so be a nice sweet heart but dont be to open by say things like:
I like you
stick tomore general things like if they feel like no one likes them one day when there sad talk to them let them VENT on you and say somthing like "ya know you may be sad now but i know for a fact that there are people all around that will help you in any way like me."
stuff like that.
ok as for the gay/bi thing No ur not gay and your not bi.
if you want to be gay or bi you can be, as i was and sort of am in the same boat as you i can say ya your brain gives you some nasty thoughts sometimes but it happens with every thing like dont you ever start eating somthing and then think of whats in it or just dream that bugs are in it?? somthing along that line when your justnot thinking normally.
unless you wantyour not bi or gay ( that guy up there sais he is bi because thats what he wants to be he feels for guys and gals you dont have to man. trustme i think about guys somthimes but then i shake it out and say "w/e its jsut my hormones pumping but at the end of the day what do i wack off to??? GIRLS so it sounds like ur not gay (and i dont think ur bi i think u were just having fun wih things and people you know, (ie guys u understandd them more)
Ok now about your new buddie that came over well get to know him more dont ask him yet.
be normal and ya part of normal will be every once in a while u will talk about sex orgirls or porno or w/e.
so u know he is younger and he has more hair than you??
well i know i asked my buddies when we were talking about that stuff i said the basic stuff we talked about hair, size, orgasims porno all that stuff lol m buddie even wipped out him 8inch cuz i didnt belive him lol.
if u wana know how much hair he has ask him that its fine he will probably just pull his pantdown to the base ofhis dick so there wont be any odd feelings about u seeing his dick.
or u could show him the same way then ask to see how much hair he has.
dont ask him to jerk you off or suck you off u will most likly never have im over again.
if u wana try it though i wouldn say it directly start off with like when ur watching a porno and jacking off be like
"man i wish i could be sucked off right now i bett it would be so cool...(wait for himto respond if its going to be bad or he looks at u wierd spit the rest out ...) what have you ever been givven a blow job?? (then if he sais somthing bad just back ur self up by saying somthing like) man i meant by a girl ok calm down.
but if u walk up and say hey if u give me head i will give u head (or handjob) then if he sais no u could be labled as gay an well ya allgoes to hell)
I help with PC problims also =D
Shy+Girls=NO SEX =(
Why dont girls give more hints on who t...
Anyone else have anything to share?
Thanks guys for your answers, I will try and refrain from anything gay and hopoefully I will just stop thinking like that.
To answer your question about if your gay or not, no one can tell you if your gay but you can find out yourself by seeing which sex you find more sexually attractive while masturbating or in real life but I just want to say that just because you dont want to be gay doesnt mean you wont be... cause obviously why would anyone want to be gay if they could be straight?... also the reason why you think its nasty is because everyone you knows most likely tells you its wrong and to like girls. Which might be why you like that girl, because your supposed to but you really shouldnt stop trying untill you know your gay for sure (when you physically cant have sex with a woman) but you can also be bi and if you are then lucky you cause you get to choose what to be :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: So anyway, last thing is just because youve had gay experiences doesnt mean your gay so you might not have to worry. Good Luck.
Adolescence is a tough time, so many things going on and so much to deal with in terms of sexuality. It is totally common for guys your age to question themselves, particularly if they have done any experimentation. I did when I was your age and it wasn't any big deal. I see it as part of my developing sexuality and curiosity. Above all else we are sexual beings with a desire for pleasure, sometimes that comes in the form of experimentation with others of the same sex. Most of us move beyond that and grow up to be healthy adults who understand what happened, the reason for it and are totally fine about it. Some people who make these choices realize that they desire to be in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex and are physically and emotionally interested to them. It takes alot more than a sexual act (mutual masturbation, oral sex etc) to be gay...while those are homosexual acts, simply doing them does NOT make you gay. So stop worrying and getting freaked about your thoughts and things you've done. Chalk it up to figuring out who you are sexually and move on. If at some point you decide that you're gay or bi...then so be it. But DON"T let society label you because of this and don't think you're wierd or strange for having those thoughts....plenty of us do, some of us are more willing to talk about it and deal with it directly! I'll be glad to chat more if you'd like.
Hey menotme123, read your post (the long one) and it was like going through what you are experiencing all over again, when I was your age and a little younger (I'm 19 now) I also got erections over other guys and thought really gay thoughts and was really so confused and felt alone. I felt guilty and ashamed of the stuff I did with my one friend, which was similar stuff to what you've done.
I prayed so hard that I'd turn out straight 'cos I didn't want to be gay. There were a few girls at school interested in me (I got asked out quite a lot) but I was so confused I didnt act on anything. My friend and I mutually agreed not to do anything sexual again, which we honoured. (Sorry this is long-) What I wanted to tell you is that I'm no longer thinking the gay thoughts and I'm staright. I'm still good friends with my buddy that I experimented with (although we never talk about what we did & he's straight too). Dont worry too much, I believe you can be str8/gay/bi whatever you choose. Have fun being 15- not constantly worrying about your past actions! Lance's advice is always great & he's right. Things will turn out okay- hope this made sense & inspires you!
Hey wow, thanks a LOT!... I mean, thanks alfadog. When I was 14 a friend explained to me even more in depth about religon. I truly believe in God now and pray nightly. Latly I have been praying a lot and it has helped me. I never knew these feelings were normal. I am going to completly ignore all thoose gay things, I don't want to be gay. People don'r reject gay people here, but I just don't want to be, I don't care what people think.
Thanks again, God bless!
As stated in the other post, i think being confused about your sexuality is a very normal thing. I'm a heterosexual female and i have had experiences with other females, but i don't consider myself gay or bi. To be honest, there are just some females that does it for me,but i could never see myself actually in a long term serious one on one relationship with another female.
~*~Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder~*~
Hey alphadog, thanks for the kudos...and for sharing your story with menotme123!
Same here DaBenz, I can't see myself in a gay relationship.
Thanks everyone, my question has been ansered and I feel a lot better now about myself.
Your welcome babe!!!!
~*~Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder~*~
look mate you probably dont wanna hear this but, if you have feelings for another guy you should persue them.. I'm not sayin your gay or bi, many guys have bisexual parts in them its nature .. we are all a little bi. I think you should just go with the flow.. If you've got a girlfriend stick with her but if you feel strongly for a guy or you enjoy messing about just chill out and enjoy yourself ok!!! You probably arnt gay mate so justlive yuor life as you feel like it!!! pm me bk ok.. it would be great to chat.. Good luck dude...
my thoughts, odd as they may be, is that sexual orientation should maybe defined by love. If you feel like fooling around with a member of the same sex, that's not too unusual. If you fall in (romantic) love with a member of the same sex, that probably indicates homosexuality.
just a thought
<b>and there was light</b>
I think your thoughts are perfectly normal. You are just curious we all are at times. But you need to start getting involved with girls. Sucking off other guys isn't exactly good. Its okay to jack off with them ever so often, but as long as it doesn't become a habit. You will grow out of it.
I haven't been here in awhile, just popped back and relized I had mroe replies to my topic.
I agree on the feelings thing. I dont' want to do anything like that, just was curious about physical characteristics.
menotme - if you don't want to be gay, then stop doing the things you've been doing with other guys. Period. what you describe is basically what gay guys do. if you don't want to be gay and keep doing what you're doing, i'm sorry to say you're heading in a direction you won't be able to turn back from. Ask girls out and see how you feel with them. You might discover then that in fact you don't really want to be with girls but with guys... or that you like girls and what came before was just a phase u went through. I know no 15 year old likes to hear this... but you are still a very young kid... i think you should slow this sexual activity down. your sexuality is special and should be for a special girl... or guy... you are only confusing yourself, way too soon in your life, going around doing all of this stuff.