Fed up

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K. I am in need of advice. My decision could cost me my g/f and my friend but i need to do something. Ive delayed posting here because she can easily read this. I really dont care if she sees this now.Lets bring you back to the beginning of my relationship with my g/f (1 year and 5 months ago). Most everything was good until one day where she asked my friend if he would go out with her if i broke up with her. My friend (probably trying not to piss me off) said he would be okay with this if I was alright with it(probably not true tho). We almost broke up that night but she cried, made me feel like a dick, and i caved in. Lets fast forward this story to spring break last year. You will find us all downstairs. She comes to sit on my lap and everything is cool. I try to move around a bit to get more comfortable and then she goes over and sits on my friends lap because supposely i didnt want her to sit on me. Even so, should she be going to a different guy n sitting on his lap? I tried talking to her about it when my friend left. I always get the same reaction even today. Tears and a "i cant believe you dont trust me". I guess im weak because i cant let a woman cry. Tonight will be different though. So fast forward this sucker even more. My g/fs birthday (and days surrounding it). This took place this summer. She basically ignores me because she doesnt want my friend to be left out. Wow, good choice. So week goes on and i try not to let it bother me. She invites one of her good friends over for her actual birthday. I end up spending much more time with her friend(female) because im not just going to sit there and be ignored. The only thing we were doing was talking. Well she was flirting a bit and being very giggly. I guess this drove my g/f nuts. It all came out the next night after her friend left. We walked to the store and talked. She started to say things like omg, you were flirting with my friend and similar stuff. I found myself getting very pissed off that night and eventually blowing up about the whole week. She couldnt take it so she just walked away. I went for a run and started to venture back to my house at 10 to let my friend in. I ran into my dad and he told me my friend was looking for me ( bullshit). He was with my girlfriend and thats all he cared about. I told my father everything as we walked to the store me and my g/f had walked too. We ran into my friend+g/f. She says, we need to talk. I ignore her and just walk by (probably not the best move). By this time, my whole family was saying i should get a new g/f because she was immature and liked to hang out with my friend more then I. I partially agreed, but being the sucker i am, i stuck with it.Your almost to the present so stick with me Since hes(my friend) moved here, she has hung out much more with him then me. I just take it and tred on. Now were at the present So this week my g/f hung out with him 4/7 days this week ( he spent the night at her house). Let me tell you sumthing else too. we talked on the phone on thursday and she told me that she wanted me to come over this weekend. I said id see. Then i get back from class on friday and it looks like i was forgotten and my friend went over. So now im here, gettin more pissed by the second. My outlook on the situation is that im thinking about cutting them both out of my life. I can't stand this triangle anymore. No matter how much she tries to convince me that shes not doing anything with him and starts crying. Im not giving in this time.Alright. I would love for people to read and comment on this situation i am in right now. Do you think shes cheating on me? I think so... but i like to have advice. Another question is what do you think i should do about it. Confront her? My dad offered writing an email since i can never talk to her w/o her about this stuff w/o her crying her eyes out. This isnt totally about her. Its about my friend too. Should I give him the big "FUCK YOU"? ::sighs::

I smell a rat. Its ok for your friend and gf to hang out, but he spent the night over her house? she sits on his lap? I can't think of a good reason to justify that.Is this guy a really good friend? if so dont write the friendship off over a girl---but on the other hand, if he's willing to be "close" with your gf, how good of a friend is he?--I think you should cut all ties with your gf. She obviously knows how you feel about the situation, yet she continues to be "close" with him. Her tears don't mean shit. She's just manipulating you. If she was so hysterical, so hurt, so upset to the point of tears, then she wouldn't keep acting the way she does.

She's right, it does seem as though she may be cheating on you, if not I certainly wouldn't be happy with her and your friend because of the things they do. From reading that, I kind of got flashbacks and this girl seems like someone I knew before, she used to cry over everything but my friend was let say, foolish (no offence inteded for him lol) and felt sorry for her, in the end she left him for his best mate, they havn't spoken since.

I think you should tell her to her face, cut back the sympathy for her if she crys and tell her exactly how you feel and take it from there. I would also have a word with your "friend" and tell him everything. BUT remember try your hardest not to lose a friend over a love triangle with a girl (despite her being your girlfriend) good luck with whatever you choose to do, let us know what happens

Well lets say this friend has lied to me about her. To my face he told me he didnt like her and he did. Lets just say 13 years vs 1.5 years Good Choice. We've been friends since 1st grade and weve been pretty close. Its not the hanging out thing thats really pissing me off. Its the flirting and shit like that. I kinda just took it for the longest time. Finally im getting sick of this triangle. LoL I cant say im completely innocent. Ive been kind of a dick lately to her because of all this stuff adding up.

A question i have for girls. If you don't want the guy anymore. Why just keep him on the side. You gotta think thatll he get bitter or find out sumtime. Why not just break it up on friendly terms?

Defiantly get rid of her. There is no question on that point.The friend however, depends on how much you like him. WAIT! Hear me out. Even if he hits on you girl(s) only a girl that would cheat on you would do anything with him. And if she'll do something with your friend she'll do something with some other guy. But if it were me I’d ditch then both. But I’m known to cut people loose if they’re causing me problems. No matter how long we’ve been friends or whatever so I may not be a good person to listen to on that front. lol

Okay, I love how this site promotes only listening to one side. My boyfriend, Sabryn told me to go to this site to see his real feelings. I'll admit, I've done maybe one really fucked up thing in this whole relationship. That is , after the first few months of going out I asked his friend if he would ever go out with me, I liked him before my bf and ditched the thought of him for my recent bf. I know it was a really messed up thing to do, but I still to this day really don't know why i did it, bash on me for it... say dump me, but yea thats me. But that is the only thing, I really regret. All the other stuff, is led from that and some of his insecurities of being hurt. But who doesn't have those. I know I have plenty to go around. I wasn't going to just drop his friend, because I had thought of him as a friend too. Not as a grrowl I really want him friend, but someone to talk to / hang out with. But my boyfriend never really expressed until tonight how he felt about this. This weekend started off by on Friday me and his friend were going to one of my old gfs I havent seen in a while, and he was thinking of going out with her, so they were kind of going on a blind date without actually being on a date. But her mom bailed ( long story of my dad and her mom going out , and since they broke up her mom doesnt rly want me there) and he ends up spending the night. Saturday night, my dad or my brother didnt drive him home. I asked them personally, but I didn't want to hurt the friends feelings. So today, his friend spent the day here, unexpectedly ... and I'm in the deep end with my bfAs for the bday party thing... it was him with my friend, and he switched it on me after i just had the convo with him about how i felt thats what he was doing to me, he brought it all right back As for the lap sitting thing, thats a crock... no offenseAnd as for the rest of you, I guess females arent allowed to have male friends, is what I've concluded. And since you all heard his side, u assumed that was the only side, and even if you do read this, you'll prolly just think I'm a bitch for standing up for what I have to say. In all reality, if any of you knew me, If I knew it upset him that much I wouldnt have done any of it intentionally. I would never hurt him, because I know the hurt and how many times I've been hurt, not just in relationships but life has its little ways of leaving noticable scars. And I would never hurt him because I love him, and me crying is me letting out my feelings, I dont want him to feel guilty, I try to give him an equal oppurtunity to share what he has to say but he doesnt want to hurt me. Id rather know, then let him build it up as he said. People can think whatever they want about me, good or bad, but it won't change the facts, or how I feel

Sabryn - reading about your bf's feelings on a website would not be my choice.....you should have told her face to face how you were feelingHuney - thanks for putting your side of the story, however, if it was the other way around and he had been spending all that time with a girlfriend on yours how would you feel.I think you both have to be totally upfront and honest about how you feel, and the future, if any, of your relationship. Talk to eachother, and not through a message forum.Good luck

We did talk about it upfront, well not really, but on the phone. After we had talked about it, he's like if you want to see what I was feeling the other day go here... and he sent me the link

Hmmm i've found out that nothing can beat talking upfront face to face with eachother. I must admit that talking about it on here was perhaps not the best thing when really should have spoken to you, but you can't really blame him for this (not saying that you are) The bit I don't get is do you still like this guy? Or do you like your bf? See i'm confused!I admit we shouldn't just jump into things from hearing one side of the story, but obviously we could only go by what your bf said. We're not picking sides here.

Yea, Sabryn, I think you need to pipe up once in a while. You can't let it build up, thats when things turn to shit.

I love my bf, and everything he is and everything he stands for I would give up a thousand of his best friend for one Sabryn

Huney thats sooo sweet, hope he reads that particular message :smile:

I stand by what I said. You aren't treating your bf right. And I don't think the reason behind it makes it anyless hurtful to him. I didn't bash you. I didn't call you any names. Would you keep a guy that was doing that to you? I think not.

Explain to me again why he HAD TO SPEND THE NIGHT AT YOUR HOUSE???? Cant he walk? isn't there a city bus? couldn't he have had somebody pick him up?....... Still smell a ratI also stand by what I said. Girl you are burning it at both ends, and eventually you are gonna end up being hurt.(thats if you aren't already)Where is the friend now? tell him to come here too. I'd love to hear his version too! It all boils down to, and I hate to be so cliche, actions speak louder than words.