i'm 14/f, and thought i had a pretty open relationship with my mom. last night she got drunk and decided to try and kill herself. she went out to the car and put a hose from the exhaust into her car, and sealed the windows. on top of that she had tons of sleeping pills. apparently, she's been depressed for my whole life, and i had no idea. i feel horrible and I know that it isn't my fault, but i really need some people to talk to. she's going to be ok, she's in the hospital. i saw her today and she was weak and it just made me cry. usually she is a brave, strong woman and seeing her not be able to drink water and speak coherently totally just hit me big time. i'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this, it was totally unexpected for me. i know once she's well enough to go home i'll be going to therapy. what do you think our relationship will be like when she comes home?? i'm just totally shocked because i thought she shared everything with me. some support/help/general niceness would be greatly appreciated
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Help! crazy life.
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People often surprise us. That's part of being a real person, not to be fully predictable. But this would have been a terrible shock, and it's not surprising it has affected you so much. It would be the same for anyone.
Things are going to be different between you, of course. They may be more strained, but you can make this an opportunity to get closer together, to share more honestly.
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Hi Beaveralmanac,Just so you have some background, I am a 40 yr old mom of a 21 yr old girl, a nurse, in a happy relationship with a wonderful man... But it hasn't always been that way.When I was about your age, many weird things happened to me, such as long-standing infidelity (father), divorce, attempted suicide by valium bottles x2 (mother), re-marriage, complete upheaval saddled with frequent anxiety. I made it through and you will too. I know you are a strong young woman or you would not have posted. It is hard to understand at your age, but we are not always what we portray, and please don't take it to heart if your mom did not share everything with you. Most of us have secrets we keep, even those lies we tell ourselves so as not to admit something about ourselves might be true.Yet I have to tell you that you can help your mom in her recovery, your love is irreplaceable to her even though she is not able to share everything with you. Maybe now you will learn to communicate on a different level.What I do know is that you need to be able to take one day at a time right now and try to believe it will all seem like a speedbump when you are my age I hope this helps and give your mom a big hug when you see her!K
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thanks everyone
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Hi,
How are you doing since... I have thought about you often. Is your mom back home? How are things seeming?
K
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My mom is back home. She gets crabby really easily, and sometimes it's hard to deal with her. We haven't really talked much, but I'm pretty sure I understand what she's feeling. I guess we're okay, but I'm not sure if she's happy. It seems like she has high points and low points, and she goes from one to another very quickly.
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HeyI am just like your mom. I actually live with my mom right now but sometimes I am super nice to her, but I can start yelling and say sht to her for no reason cuz I'm depressed and frustrated. I hate it when people talk to me at the wrong time. I don't know if your mother is feeling the same way, but I would say talk to her if she talks to you or if she seems real happy. If shes crabby, it wont matter who is talking to her, she cant see that it's you talking to her. I recently blew up at a friend and started talking sht just cuz I was crabby, and all he said was "whatup?"
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Yeah, a lot of things change after someone tries to kill themself, personally only my parents and close friends know but I know they weren't expecting it and think differently of me now. Maybe she should try anti depressants? [ Unless shes already on? ] Like Fluexetine [ sp? ]. It could help her, but I think she just needs some time, and she'll need you to be there for her, talk to her. It feels good to have someone to talk too.
Wish you all the best of luck,
xxandrew