ok basically me and my girlfriend have been going out just over a year now we've had a few little arguement occasionally. she means absolutly everything to me and the thought of losing her now is unbearable!i nedd her so much and cant imagine being without her, but i've majorly screwed it up this time. =[basically last year we me and what was a best mate at the time were going to a festival for three days. me and my girlfriend had been going out a couple of months at this point and it was all arranged before i even met her.basically this girl was a bit possessive with me and i was stuck between to girls one i really really liked and was staring to fall in love with and an old mate that i felt like i had to be nice to. (it was the whole you should be putting your friends first situation.)this girl i was going to the gig with used to sometimes be a bit nasty and had sometime been unkind to my new girlfriend, i didnt realise it was really as bad as it was, and would make excuses for her because she i thought she was a nice person.obviously my girlfriend was a bit uneasy about the gig but she let me go bless her, i got frequent txts from her and did my best to keep her informed and reasure her. but one of the evenings when i got back in and we were talking she asked me have you ever liked her as more than a mate. i lied to her and said i hadn't. this was possibly the stupidist thing i've ever done! i knew she was uneasly about this girl and me spending time together and knew that she saw the worst in this girl and i didnt want to admit that i used to like her and risk her spliting up with me. truth is i didn't like the girl anymore and hadnt done for half a year but i thought my girlfriend would never believe it. it was easier to not say and not upset or worry her even more.about a month after this this girl was majorly horrible to my girlfriend and i decided that enough was enough and my girlfriend had been right about her. we are not friends anymore.whenever i've thought about lying to her i've known that she has to know the truth for my own peace of mind if nothing else, i love her to bit and this cant stay between us.but this year, a few nights ago, my girlfriend was goin thru my old emails and as she went back i was worried that she would find out that i used to like this girl. i was genuinly just as worried about upseting her as getting caught lying.so i close the emails and asked her to come upstairs, we sat down and i explained that i didnt (6 months before i even met her) like this other girl, that in its self is nowhere need as bad a the fact that i lied to her.she was completely mortified that i'd lied to her she was shaking and crying, and we both cried for ages. eventually we went back down and i let her read the emails, but she's distraut. she basically says that i she trusted me completely and thought i was the one person who would be straight with her, she thought i was perfect and now she is completely torn up. you can imagine how this felt to me, seeing the person i care more about then anyone about in such a state because of me.i was stayin over but i went home early next morning, we txt about and she was obv cold and hurt,she said she didnt know what to think and that she didnt know what she wanted. i wrote her a massive letter and drew a picture of us, explaining what she mean to me and that i'll genuinely will never lie to her again, even to spare her feelings, , its better to be honest than have it come out later. we cried and hugged and she kissed me and said that she'd give me another chance but that we werent back to normal and i would have to earn her trust back. that was yesterday and she said i could come help her revise tonight for her mocks but now ive got a txt saying she want to get on, on her own.i dont know how to approch fixing me and her, i cant bear the thought of her giving up on us. she culd turn round and say at any moment i love you but ill never be able to trust you again =[shall i say yes and back off while she works? she might think i dont care enough to make a effort with her. shall i let her get on and txt her and let her know im thinking of her?i soooooooo prepared to sort us out and put as much effort as it takes i just dont know the right approch =[if anyone had the time to read this, any one at all pleaser let me know what you think. thanks=[ x x
-
I seriously need help guys!
-
You really can't do anything...It's up to her to realize that you obviously are a person who can be straight with her, since you did tell her the truth.I... don't see why she got so torn up, I mean, if anything she's discouraging you from being honest if that's how she's going to react.
-
its because she feels that, she completely trusted me and i've just thrown it back in her face by lying. i went round last to drop her off a poster thing i made, it had all quotes and things she's said and reasons why i love her and stuff like that.she'd said she did want my help but when i txt to say i'd left it by her door she called me back and invited me in. she read it and thought it was really sweet and said that we were together and she loved me but just felt really let down and upset.she said just to give her a bit of space for a while and that doing things like the poster and the letter were good coz it reasured her i care but it also reminds her of how we were before she found out.i think this is just going to take time to sort out. =[ but i really hope it goes ok =[
-
I agree with Java. And I think your girlfriend is overreacting.