I am so at a loss of what to do. I hate myself so much. I am such a pathetic loser. All I do is complain about how much I hate my life. I can't stop from cutting myself. I just want the pain to stop. But I always hate myself even more after I do it. I keep feeling like I should just slash my wrists with a razors instead of the rest of my body. Nothing ever changes. People always say that things will get better, but thats just lie. Its always the same never-ending cycle. Nothing ever gets better. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.I don't want to kill myself. But I'm afraid that I will get to that point again.
I don't know what to do
Don't worry about complaining - that's one of the things this board is here for. Don't worry about being a loser - that's just another name for "human". We progress by stumbles.
Would it help to write down what you want changed in your life, and then some strategies you can use to move in the direction you want?
You and me are in the same bout i fell the exact same way. I cant stop cutting my self and i fell so bad after i do it but i cant stop. Do u have msn it wold be good to talk to you.
I do write things down, but it never works for me. Thanks for trying to help though. I don't have msn, I have aim. Today in class, I got hysterical and starting crying. She told me to come to the bathroom with her and she asked me what was wrong. I showed her my the cuts I had made on my arm with the razor yesterday. I had stopped cutting for a week, but then everything just started to build up and couldn't stop myself from cutting. N.L. it would be great to talk to u. I can give u my email address if we can't talk through im.
Reaching out is letting you see that there are sooooo many others out there like you.
Heck, before I met HelmsmaN, I was hurting myself, not with cutting, but with substance abuse. I was allowing it to almost ruin my life. I think if people would have cared, it would have ruined my life, but then I would have recovered. I still am amazed at how little people actually care about us.
What I found in the end is that it really is up to us to care about us. See what you have done by reaching out? It seems to have brought you threads by which to hang on. Your teacher seems to care too. All around you there are those strangers who will throw you a line when you are drowning. Please, be smart and grab that line when they throw it!
Love you and Love yourself!!
You are you and I am I and if by chance we find each other, it is beautiful. (paraphrased)
Frederick S. Perls
It wasn't my teacher, it was a friend who asked. I haven't cut in 2 days, so I'm happy about that. I wanted to so bad in school today, but I didn't. I don't know how long I will last this time, but I'm gonna try. But I still don't think there is any point, I'm a worthless human being. So what if I don't cut myself for awhile. I'll just want to kill myself more.
No human being is worthless.
I know I shouldn't feel worthless, but I do. It seems that no matter how hard I try at something I always fail.
Like Ineligible said, you are not worthless.
I can only speak for myself here but I used to feel like you did. I had terrible depression and felt like my existance was pointless.
What helped me (and this may seem really lame to some people but each to their own) was getting involved in charity work. I LITERALLY felt worthless, so getting involved in charity work actually gave me something to do to take my mind of things and made me feel like my life had some sort of purpose. Of course, like I said, I can only speak for myself.
Finally, you said that when people tell you things will get better it's just a lie - I promise you it's not. Things really DO get better. I've just come off my anti-depressants I've been on for years and I feel much better now. Many of my friends were cutters at school but are now doing much better. I've also got friends who have attempted suicide who are actually glad they're alive today.
I PROMISE you things get better. You're still at school so I'm guessing you're still a teenager (not trying to sound patronising here, I'm only 19 myself) and teenage years suck, man. It's pretty normal to feel like shit during adolescence, but I promise promise PROMISE things do get better.
But it's up to you to change things. No-one can change your life for you, it's something you have to do for yourself. Most of my friends who I just mentioned (myself included) changed when they realised it wasn't going to help them to just sit around wishing things would change. They (we) realised things wouldn't get better until we did something about them.
Never waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you
hate to say it but, if nothing else helps, time always does.
I've come back from the brink several times. What drives you nuts today, will seem trivial in a couple of months. Honestly, I really mean it. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm trivialising your feelings. I just want you to know that I know how you feel today and, from my own experience, how you can expect to feel later.
<b>and there was light</b>
Hey, this is a serious mental problem, u might have depression. Go talk with a school consular or some1 that u trust. School consulars can help u a lot. I use to have depression and i talked with one of them and they helped me a lot. To be honest, nothing will always go the way u want it to go. You must learn how to look at things that are actually bad into good. If you have a close relationship with yur dad/mom go talk to them. They will help you for sure. Calm down, dont cut yourself, you'll get scars and if your bf/gf sees it they wont like it. you should also learn to appreciate what you have, actually you are in a much better situation than many others, others like the tsunami victims. think about it, they have no house, no food, nothing, if they were all cutting themselves, they would all die. So think for yourself, do you really want to die? What would happen after u suicided? What do u think your parents will feel like? If you kill yourself, this will not just harm yourself, but every1 around you and all the people that cares about you. They might seem like they dont care about you, but many of them actually do. Go talk with some1, tell them how you feel, tell them whats wrong and they will be able to help you out. :wink:. Peace. Good luck.