I've tried to hard not to get depressed and it always seems that no matter how hard I try I sink deeper and deeper into this depression. I am pushing myself into a hole of no return. My friends all drive me crazy to the point where I don't even want to talk to them anymore. I used to be this friendly chatty girl who could bring laughter to any conversation. Now, more times than not I can't think of anything to say. I think its the fact that I don't care. At my private school, I have come to realize that I am missing out on my life as a teenager. My self esteem has gone down so low that I have convinced myslef that I am a failure. Everynight I go home, attempt to do homework, end up getting really angry and frusterated, cry for a little while and then finally pass out. Right after school I usually go to dance class which used to be my escape bu recently is hasn't been working very well; and even if when it does take my mind of my life, I fall back into my hole the second I get home. I used to be proud of who I was, I used to enjoy what I did. Now I look in the mirior and think, no wonder no one cares. No matter how much exercise I do or how much I watch what I eat, I'm still fatter than I have ever been. I watch my friends eat nothing but sweets and carbs all day and bearly exercise and yet they are all so skinny. I need sometime of solution to my fucked up life. Help me, before I do something I will regret.
P.S. this is partly me venting so if I don't make sense I'm sorry. But any comments anyone has I would greatly appriciate, I am willing to do whaetever I can so that I can be happier with who I am.
My life is only getting worse