Hey guys.I'm wondering if it's possible to get so used to being depressed that it's "not depressing". if you see what I mean.I am constantly in a low state. It's at the point where if something mildly good happens to me, I'm on the moon for a brief moment and then crash back down again directly after.The reason I ask is because this past few days have been particularly horrible for me.I lost out on the chance to finally have my own family with a girl I love and it's all been taken away from me, I got a concussion, and an hour ago my grandfather died from a brain tumour.Thing is, aside from a brief (maybe 10 mins?) bout of grief, I don't feel any different after recieving these pretty detrimental pieces of information.Now the family thing I can deal with as it's my own problem, but I'm starting to feel really guilty about not feeling more upset about my grandfather's death. Granted I only see him once a year and when I do it's not the greatest of experiences - but surely I should feel more about the death of a family member?People are always saying that I seem to have dealt with my mother's death pretty well. Is that the case, or is it I'm so depressed normally that I don't seem any different?My family members are dropping like flies around me, with relatively recent losses of my mother, uncle, grandmother and grandfather. All that's left now is another uncle, another grandmother, my dad and my brother. My family is 5 people on the entire planet. It could have been more if things had worked out earlier in the week, but that was not to be the case.Whats wrong with me? Is there anything wrong with me?
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So used to being depressed I don't notice it?
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Sorry for your loss..It's quite normal to have limited grief for someone with whom you don't have a close bond. Don't beat yourself up about it.
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Even when people are close, they often feel numb after a death. And with people you rarely see, as sdp says, it's perfectly normal to have no particular feelings.
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All I can do is reinforce what's already been said.Nothing wrong with you it sounds like a normal reaction to me. However, one day a sense of loss may beset you when you least expect it.
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what i noticed from reading these replies, is that IF these people did lose someone, they didnt lose them the way we did...me and you are alot alike, after my life started going down the drain when i was bangin, after my brother died, i was in a depressed state for so long, and even now, my body goes right back to that depressed mood, and i dont even notice it half the time...in all honesty, from reading the post's on this board, and on this forum completely, i think i have the most losses over anyone else, including family and friends i have a bit over 25 people who i lost, i dont feel like counting and getting the correct number, but only about 2 or 3 of those people's death's were even recorded and filed... which makes you feel really bad knowing that the person you love wasnt even cared enough for to have AT LEAST a piece of paper saying that there dead...now about your situation, i went through that for so long, and am barely coming out of it. your depressed, and your not realizing it, exactly what you said u thought it could be is what it is, idk how you lost the girl that you loved and were going to have a family with, it doesnt sound like she died but if you two broke up for a stupid reason, get your ass off this computer and go fucking get her!!!your depressed, and so was i, but me i set a goal for myself, i was going to find the girl that i loved in 8th grade (i was in 9th grade-10th grade while bangin) and i was going to marry her and have a family with her,i found her a year ago, i havent done weed or any other drugs, and i plan on marrying her in the next couple of years...whenever something good happens to you, savor it. enjoy it, bask in it for as long as you can, and only when something good happens again, do you drop that old memory, and pick up on that one.alot of bad could be happening to you because of the way your mood is, im not talking about ur families deaths, its there time, you should be happy that there moving on to a better place, it means they accomplished the goals they set in there life, and it was time they left. but yea, you ever seen the movie "The Secret" if not, watch it, if yes, STOP ATTRACTING NEGATIVE THINGS INTO YOUR LIFE!!!think positive, have fun, act stupid, jump play skip, be a fucking kid, do the things that make you happy, you deserve AT LEAST that!i really want you to get better, now that i'm getting better, i think its terrible for someone to have to live in that sort of way, depressed and unknowing for so long... good luck, and i sincerely hope u take my advice....
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what i noticed from reading these replies, is that IF these people did lose someone, they didnt lose them the way we did... I don't know what you mean by that.
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what i mean is that, we lost alot of people, and on top of that we were already depressed and that makes it hurt even more,i wasnt trying to say anything bad, what i was saying basically, was that, not alot of people can relate to the specific situation we were both in... im not trying to insult any1 or there lost family members, sorry if i wrote it wroung and it sounded wroung...
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Quote:what i noticed from reading these replies, is that IF these people did lose someone, they didnt lose them the way we did... Quote: in all honesty, from reading the post's on this board, and on this forum completely, i think i have the most losses over anyone elseI know you said you were sorry, but for future reference, please don't compare people's losses or depression or lives to yours. No two lives are the same. Just because situations are different doesn't mean the emotions that come with it are.Just something to keep in mind. Quote:what i was saying basically, was that, not alot of people can relate to the specific situation we were both in... Of course, no one can be in the same and exact situation as you or me. That's why you need to keep in mind that you can never compare two different lives. However, being human, we can relate to one another because we've been in similar situations. Situations are different but death is always the same; hard and depressing for everyone.
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Originally Posted By: GrownPastMyYearsidk how you lost the girl that you loved and were going to have a family with, it doesnt sound like she died but if you two broke up for a stupid reason, get your ass off this computer and go fucking get her!!!...alot of bad could be happening to you because of the way your mood is, im not talking about ur families deaths, its there time, you should be happy that there moving on to a better place, it means they accomplished the goals they set in there life, and it was time they left. I can't get her back - that ship has sailed etc. I have to move past that.As for it being their time - my grandad perhaps, he was 80 and frail......but my mum was 44. It most definately was NOT her time and it sucks so hard that she lost out on what could have been half of her life.I thank you for your advice - but I don't know how I'm gonna get myself out of these situations.
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have you ever heard the expression "the good die young", you should look at it like this, you grandfather died at 80, cause he finally accomplished what he needed to do, your mother at 44 got what she needed to do done, and it was her time... some times we lose people in terrible ways, but you have to think about the fact that them dieing like that might of had a greater effect on someone and helped them do something that they normally wouldnt of...my brother died when he was 15, his girlfriend at 17, his son at 1, my friend roger at 22, my friends jacob, white boy, devantre, and my friend rocky, all died at 17/18my friend casper died at 16, and my three cousins died at 16 as well...tyrone, shawn, my friend 'value', tripp, "fresh" freddy, carlos, and 3 others who's names i cant remember right this moment all died between 19-23 my grnadmother died at 56, my friend michael died at 53.what i was trying to prove with naming the people who i've lost is that, they all died very young with the exception of my granma, and friend michael, i was close to them all, and they all seemed like there lives werent finished yet, but obviously god had another idea...because they died, alot of people i know stopped banging, when my brother died, i stopped and now im not slanging, or bangin anymore, and am lookin for a job...behind even the worse situations, something good comes out of it...thats how i've lived my life, and its worked for me, i think if it can work for me it can work for u...and if that ship is sailed, find a new ship to lay your anchor in, if it wasnt meant to be with her, then there has to be some other girl out there for you...
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Do as what GrownPastMyYears said. I, too, also tell myself that I should be happy for myself, but I've let my negative side grow much bigger than I expected and know I don't feel like moving on.I also lost myself when my father died. I can't remember who I realy was. Was I outgoing or have I always been timid.But anyways, Just try to be happy as what i've posted on your previous subject (the one about the woman you fell in love with).
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Since I don't realy listen to the advise I give myself, I decided I want to give others my advice. I realy wanted to help from the bottom of my heart.
I just felt like I understand your situation.