Someone help me - please

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Yes i agree...it brought a single tear to my eye...

In reply to:Given the above list of issues, am I a lost cause? Is this uncurable[sic]? I can't really tell anyone I know, as they all just see me as a (considerably) successful businessman, and they could not see anything like this in me.Do you expect to find a magical cure on a forum populated by horny kids and amateur know-it-alls? If you have a real job, then you should also have access to professional counseling. We can't fix your problem any more than we can fix your flat tire.Go seek professional help. If you have insurance that shares your personal info with your employer, then pay for it out of pocket. It's worth it.

Why don't you talk to her about this situation. You guys are in your 20's. You aren't horney teens anymore. Are you two planning to get married and are withholding sex until then? At this time in life, this abstinence until marriage bit is overrated in my opinion. You two need to just do it.

That was shitty advice Steve.
Anywho, I must say for being 24 and owning your own business, you should pat yourself on the back. Of course I'm no expert, but I don't see a huge problem here. Your a 24 year old virgin. And correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a male's sexual peak? I think that's why you have a large porn collection and are no longer interested in the same old thing. Jacking off in other people's homes and offices isn't really cool, but I think it's kind of a thrill for you. (something different). My advice would be to try and take it a little further with your girlfriend when your being intimate. She is a virgin too. Women who are virgins usually aren't going to instigate the first move. Perhaps she's waiting for you to make your move.

Original poster:

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Im addicted to mastrubating...it has destroyed me.

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Steve:

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[We probably can't help you here; seek professional couseling.]

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Arrogant poster:

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That was shitty advice Steve.

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Advising counseling for someone who claims to have a problem that's destroying him is shitty advice?

OK, you fix the problem, but if you fail, you have to come back and say you're sorry.

It doesn't take much to READ a little bit and offer some common sense knowledge, like sdp did. Advising him to see a counselor was fine advice. It was everything before that, that was shitty. Re-read your post asshole..and I'm arrogent?

hehehhe
you said the asshole word, I'm telling

Wow, I sure have a way with people. I think I'll change careers and get into public relations.As you can see, sdp, who in my opinion is an exemplary member of the forum, posted after my original post. The rest of the advice, in my opinion, was not that useful, but opinions may vary.I hope you don't try to solve someone's brain tumor issue with soft pillows and antacids. I'd advise professional help. Likewise to someone who has let an addiction problem go on so long that his life is wrecked. Even, better, before his life is wrecked.I'm not sure that "shitty" and "asshole" really make your case. Nope, that's not impressive at all.

Shitty asshole.

OK, now I'm impressed. You really 25? Find youself qualified to dispense medical advice? Cool.

What "medical" advice did I offer?? Why don't you pm me your little temper tantrums instead of ruining this thread? I offered my common sense advice so there is no need for me to come back to this thread.

Huh? It appears that a person is presenting with a medical issue (severe psychological distress), and you're telling him what to do. Did I miss something here?This issue is absolutely on-topic....we're trying to figure out how to help the original poster, or get him some help.I'm not sure where I had a tantrum (I didn't use any foul language; I'm not upset), but, in my opinion, you're wasting this guy's time.I'm not interested in having an IM argument. I think what I said is generally applicable, not unique to you or me.

I don't think it was what you said, SteveA, as how you said it. Your opinion was a valid one, but it was expressed in an tone that appeared to be deliberately unpleasant. And the "[sic]" was supercilious.I very much like the intelligence of your posts, SteveA. You are a valuable addition to the board. But in this case, I think you made an error of judgement in the tone.

That may be the case, and I highly respect your opinion along with sdp's, but I don't think that a most of postings were beneficial to the original poster. It kind of reminded me of the scene in The Holy Grail, where they were discussing the "new learning" ("And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped.")I also think that there's an issue where, in public school, self-esteem became the paramount concern, rather than merit, and some of that is evident...but that's another issue.It'd be better if, rather than lashing out, people would just skip over that which irritates them, if they are not willing to reply in a constructive way ("That's shitty advice" does not qualify as constructive).I think it's too late to reprogram me. It's a good thing I didn't come here to be loved. ANYWAY, I wonder how the original poster is doing. I hope he doesn't just think that this is a silly place.

Thanks people - even SteveA. I do understand your point, I know I can't ask anyone here to fix the problem - it's just impossible and silly of me to think that. However any advice or support is very useful, and I found it somewhat helpful just to get it out there. So no SteveA, I didn't expect to find a magical cure here. It does help just to know someone's heard you out.Anyway, I hope that Strappleberry's doing Ok!There are ways other than councelling to beat it, and I'm just interested to know what they are and how others may have done it. I'll look for some councelling and use any other tips in unison. In reply to: At this time in life, this abstinence until marriage bit is overrated in my opinion. You two need to just do it. I agree, she wants to hold off until marriage and I said fine, but we're defacto married now anyway. I'm past that waiting thing. We're old enough, mature enough and know what's involved and so on, but she's still very traditional. In reply to: Women who are virgins usually aren't going to instigate the first move. Perhaps she's waiting for you to make your move. Thanks - I have done that and try quite often, but she doesn't want it to continue. Sometimes she says it feels good, but just doesn't want to go there - yet. Though, after trying this quite a few times I've literally given up and never ever actually approach her for intimacy. I know I'll just end up getting my hopes up, and it'll just end in the usual oral routine. I tell you what, I must be a damned expert by now!Sometimes this depresses me a bit, but then I often turn it around by trying to put it into perspective. It's just sex. (I hear some of you gasp - Just sex!?). I think of all the other problems in the world, so many other people that live with daily catastrophies and hardships, and think, well - it's pretty petty/selfish to be going on about sex.

Thanks for your post Silent. I really have much to say around this, but it is late and I have to work tomorrow...so I will post more tomorrow. I think I can at least encourage you from a place of real understanding. And it is RIGHT that you posted here.Steve...you are way out of line buddy. And, despite what you said in an earlier post, you did not try to help this gentlemen. Overcoming addictions is not a single method ordeal. It has to be attacked on several fronts. ONe of those fronts is finding support and encouragement and help and understaning. That's what he is looking for. I hope he can find it face to face, but I'm glad he's looking for it here. My fear is that your incessant arrogance will run off the very folks that need to be here asking questions.

This thread has become a fine example of verbal masturbation. Aren’t we all self-indulgent

Yeah. Man, I'm confused. I thought we were addressing the original poster's issue. In my opinion, if someone has an acute episode of depression (which may or may not have been his situation), it's a medical emergency, like appendicitis. All the self indulging is at his expense, if he's browsing the thread with a revolver in his hand (which of course may not be the case here). But I don't think we have enough to go on to determine exactly what the situation is.

If someone has lower right quadrant abdominal pain and a fever, you send them for medical help. Maybe it was just gas, or the result of some bad cold cuts. But you don't know, beforehand.

And having battled depression doesn't necessarily make one an expert in its treatment.

But opinions may vary.

WOAH......ok, everyone take a DEEP breath........let it out slowly, and smile - now lets all play nice shall we.

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I was responding to SilentRain, not the original poster.