Ok im posting this here and in teen life cuz im not sure where to put it. Im always feeling empty and alone like no one cares or understands. One of the guys i like makes me so happy and doesnt make me so depressed anymore and i love that. I really like him, I may even love him but im too nervous to say. He comes up with the cornyest lines like 'You know if you lived by me my life would be complete' and i like that cuz it makes me feel good. I think he may like me but there really isnt a chance for us because we live in to different countrys and we arent old enough to move or anything and i have no clue wut to do or anything. Im really confused right now.
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Help
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not that it will help alot but you are having very normal feelings for your age. It sounds like you might be infatuated with an internet buddy? It makes me nervous to hear that coming from a young girl. Sit tight kiddo, things will get better.
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it makes you nervous? y?
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I'm not really sure what you're question is, but I'll do my best.I totally get the "empty and alone like nobody cares or understands". I can tell you that 9999 times out of 10,000 that is a cognitive distortion. Meaning, it's just your mind misreading messages or creating messages that aren't there. I say this from experience. I spent so much time feeling like people didn't want to engage with me. That's what I was seeing. So I gave myself the message that the reason for that must be because I am disgusting. Then, in the midst of my doing a lot of healthy things and having a healthy conversation with my best friend, he pointed out the possibility that I sometimes appeared aloof. This made sense to me. My fear of others, and my assumption that no one wanted to talk to me, caused me to basically keep others at a distance. I desperately wanted interaction with them, but my fear was putting them off because it caused me to look arrogant and aloof.Basically what I'm saying is that I totally understand. But I've learned that this fear can be self-perpetuating. My advice - and remember, this comes from experience - is to take the chance and put yourself out there. Start taking the initial first step and speak to people first. I'm not promising you'll always get the response you want, but as a whole you will start to see people really open up to you. Another thing, take every opportunity given to you to connect with people. School, church, whatever. Anytime there is an opportunity to interact with a small group of people, do it. It might be scary, but it's the best way to overcome isolation.As for the fellow...Sounds like he might be a decent guy. But there is definitely a problem with the distance. My advice would be to not bank your entire social being on him. That is easy to do, I know. It's easy to let things like internet relationships, chatting, even things like business and activity be a substitute for real inticmacy.I hope this helps. Please keep us posted.
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I know how you are feeling. I am not a very social-type person, and I am starting to like this girl, and I feel like I can talk to her; the only thing is that she lives near me--goes to my school--so I don't have to worry about that. Everything else seems normal to me.
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just paternal instincts.There are many more good people than creeps in the world but I worry about the creeps and their contact with young people.Damien's post was quite insightful.
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just like that scary guy named jeffrey that tried to get me in his car at midnight while i wus walking to my sisters? yes im aware of those creeps too lol
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Yea, sounds like an Internet affair and probably harmless. But if you know nothing will come of and it has no chance, move on. I'm sure some of the local boys will take notice of you.
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yeah i have to go with kat_man on this one...you should move on...
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In terms of your long distance relationship I have something very simular. At camp two summers ago I met this guy who lives in Ecuador. And although everyone told me he was just another crush, i knew he was differnt. He treated me differntly than any other guy ever had. He gave me more attention and compassion then the guy who was by "boyfriend" at the time. After camp, we cried wishing we could stay together but knew it was impossible. Over the last two years almost, we've exchanged e-mails, and talk over webcam on MSN and even a few phone conversations, although those got expensive. It was almost everyday at first but as time went on, we could no longer talk as frequently. Yet still i was convinced I was in love with him. We still talk on occassion and he claims to love me just as much as i love him, but i still haven't seen him. I might be able to this summer, but still the chance are not very high. However, just knowing that someone was thinking about me and cared about me gave me the self-esteem to carry on everyday. I met him in a very diffuclt time in my life and he continues to be a strong support for me. Yes, many of my friends said i was obsessed but it was my true feelings. I cannot tell if ur situation is the same or not, but if it is, you do have to move on somewhat. Although I still constantly think about him and vise versa, we both agreed that we have to move on in our lives. As painful as it was, we are teenagers and maybe one day we can be together. But for now we both knew we needed the personal interaction that distance made impossible. I also feel this emptiness u speak of, but i have no solution. if you find one let me know, i would love to break through this phase.