I know this wont probebly sound like anything to most people and you will be saying don't worry about it it was in the past just accept it!!! but it is seriously screwing my head up.
This time last year my boyfriend of just over 6 months, sat me down and told me that the reason he had left his last relationship was because she had not told him for 6 months that she was pregnant. (i know he should of noticed but there you go) they had lawyers involved and he doesn't pay anything towards them and he hasnt seen or heard from her for two years.
But the stupid thing is when she told him he didn't ask for a DNA test so he still doesnt know if it is his, we have been talking about getting a house and settling down with each other, but i dont think i could hack it if she suddenly appeared on the door step asking for money for all the years that he hasnt given!.(she is older than him and all this happened just after he turned 19)
I cant break down to my boyfriend and have done several times to his best friend. who tries to tell him that i need to talk about it but when he told me i said i dont want to hear about it again! so he brings that aback up when i want to ask questions. he says he was carefull and always used protection and checked everytime, i love him very much and i dont want to loose him but this is a battle which needs to be delt with and even his parents are in denile about it and i think it was more their dessicion to get rid of her and it!!! please help me figure out what i should do
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Ohh my god he might have a son
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If you're in a relationship and you want things to go further you have to talk to him, if you can't something is wrong in the relationship. Make him get a DNA test, if he doesn't then leave.
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I totally agree with Amanda, this is something that you both need to get out in the open, cos if he is the father, then this child should have something to do with his life, if all parties want it, and it will have to be something you have to deal with. This is too important not to talk about.
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i know your both right but that would deffinately bring her back into our life and if he is the father i dont know if i could deal with it. if he had been straight from the start it would have been different.
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well for a start, if she comes back into his life, demanding money or time from him, then he will have to have a DNA test......If he is the father, then you WILL have to deal with it one way or the other, what happened with this woman is in the past, and its done with where she is concerned, if the child is his, then he has something with the child, not the mother, and if you love him you will be able to cope hon, it will be hard, but you will.......also i have to say that if you are thinking about moving in with eachother etc, i am surprised that you can't talk to him about this, he is probably hurting as much as you, but now feels he can't talk to you about it cos it hurts you - you both need to sit, and calmly, discuss the implication of this - together, and decide - together - what you will do, if anything, and support eachother in whatever decisions you both make - good luck with everything hon hugs let us know how things are going
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Sounds like a dead beat to me! If he really thought it wasn't his then why wouldn't he get a DNA test. She sounds like a looser for not getting him into court to make him pay. Either way I'm feelin' for the kid. As for you? If you can't handle a person with a child then you need to find out for sure. Go find her and convince her to take him to court to prove one way or the other. If it's his either live with it or move on. If not, you have no worries. But sitting around worry isn't going to do any good and is going to ruin your relationship.
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In reply to: i could hack it if she suddenly appeared on the door step asking for money for all the years that he hasnt given hoo boy. if he fathered a child, he should have stepped up to the plate, been responsible, and supported his child from day one. instead there were lawyers and no responsibility taken. aren't you the least bit worried about living with/marrying someone who would do that?
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I kinda had a similar experience. One day someone phoned the house looking for someone by the same name as my dad. He was trying to track down his real father and one of his leads had lead him to my dad. It was so weird, he was explaining all of this on the phone to me and I just felt so weird. It turned out that my dad had nothing to do with him, but it was still freaky!
