Ode to the Nice Guys

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since im one of these, n i know they r out there...This is for u!Ode To The Nice Guys This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that. The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

I agree that life is not fair. Sometimes women see "niceness" as a feminine trait and find it sexually unattractive. Likewise for guys who "try too hard". Which is not to say than women like to get slapped around. But sometimes the "nice guy as as saint" angle becomes a crutch, leads to bitterness, and no intimate relationship.I know lots of "nice guys" who are in serious relationships or are happily married.If you're being really nice to a woman, but are in the back of your mind thinking about getting into her pants, are you really being a saint? Or are you thinking deep down, "I feel like I'm so close, maybe today she'll understand that I'm the best thing happening in her life"?The things you describe that you do for women, would you do them for a woman you're not attracted to, or for a man?

seems like that post is just to reassure people with little self confidence, keep the vicious cycle going.you're right, women do eventually grow out of it, 5+ years later of being screwed around and watching all the 'jerks' get the girls u dream ofa better thing to do other than recieve 'praise' for being an emotional pillow is to go out and work out what women want, keep that in mind while still being yourself. works for me, even when i don't have a gf. self confidence, all you need. even the illusion is enough. i'm happy, with or without a girl.try sosuave.com, read the forums on what women want, jerks vs nice guys etc, helped me

I think you will find that the nice guys go onto have great relationships, and good solid marriages with someone they love - its the pricks who are still single when they are 35 then again, don't listen to me hon, I'm a stupid moron apparently..........

LOL its ok angel ull always have a place in my heart......But yea i know what ur sayin but its findin that girl that hard because they are always takin....dont make me tell my story lol

Thats it! Unforgetto, you, me, outside now! A nice game of fisticuffs is in order here!

In reply to: thanks for warning us shakes head whatever!!

aww thanks hon hugs now.....about that story

yeah i have read this before. It is abit depressing.

Lol of angel ill sum it up just for you.....Basically i work with this girl who i like ALOT. Problem is she has a boyfriend whom shes been with for a couple years. Now right now you're prolly thinkin im screwed but i know she likes me. In fact everyone at work knows she likes me. She like to always grab my ass while we're workin, gets mad when she cant see me. Calls me all the time. MAkes perverted remarks and alwasy tells me that who knows what can happen between us. I could go on forever. Point being she is dating that guy who is an asshole....he never hngs out with her, cancels plans with her to go out with his friend and all this other stuff. Hes a complete ass which proves my theory because shes in such denial and i told her to but she just gets mad so i gave up tellin her. So now im just playin it n seein what happens, meanwhile im seein other girls, however none of them ever work.....o and to let u all know i did my own little experiment to see how girls react to the asshole. Lets just say apparently when i call a girl a bitch to her face and tell them to shut up they ask for my number......two different girls.....in the same week. And im not like that it was just part of my experiment, however it works....o and one of them has a boyfriend as well lol. So yea that was it summed up and look how long that was.

I didn't read all the posts so i'm sorry if someone else put this...But theres a difference between being "nice" and door mat

I guess in four years I'll be a prick then since I'll be 31 in a week and I'm sure I'll always be single

Yea but bein nice leads to bein a doormat. Dont get me wrong i dont drop everything for girls n do whatever they want, but then im always there for them and iono its like a phenominon. It doesnt makes sense, im exactly what that ode says. It was just amazing how when i was a huge asshole 2 girls ask for my number? 2 very very very attractive girls. it doesnt make sense, but definetely proves the theory

Don't take my post too literally hon I was actually a tad pissed that morning when i wrote it (as in the prick referrencesigh).......there is someone for everyone out there, I doubt you'll be single for ever........sorry if my post came over all bitchy hugs

Well that wasn't THAT long hon I have to say, tho, i don't know what kinda girls you have over there, but if a guy called me a bitch to my face, I would slap him! (have done a few times LOL) the so called bad boys are exciting, for a while, but give me a nice guy, I can relax with, have fun with any day!

Lol yea i know that was the point behind my little experiment. I was frankly shocked no one hit me, they actually seemed to like it state of confusion. See your at that point where you matured and realized that the nice guys are what you want. Unfortunately for me i dont have that patience lol. And what sux on top of it is i am no where near psycologicaly at the age that i physically am. I have the psycological age of a 26 year old (takin from a test thingy) however im physically 19. So im not the guy to party and drink, im more into my family and working and school (even though i hate school with a passion). So i guess im to mature and it leaves me in the dust. Im sick of bein alone, its been over a year since ive been witha girl. now ive been on dates n crap (which never work) but im talkin about relationships. And to top it off my friend all suck so im even more lonely. It drives me crazy i cant take it. i guesss it wouldnt be so bad if i had some support from friends, but i dont

In reply to: And to top it off my friend all suck so im even more lonely. It drives me crazy i cant take it. i guesss it wouldnt be so bad if i had some support from friends, but i dont I know its not the same, but I'm here if you want me big hugs n kisses

Thanx angel, thanx for listenin to me

Hey anytime hon, what are freinds for?????/ * big hug* .......erm.............you wanna fruit pastille????? :grin:

I haven't had a serious girlfriend in almost 5 years now. The last one I was seriously considering marrying, but she broke it off and married another guy within a year. She's a good friend of my sister and occasionally I have to be around her and her husband, which sucks.About a year and half ago, a friend of mine and his wife got divorced, and now I don't hear from him anymore and his ex-wife, who is nice but I never got to know her that well, wants to hang out. I can't say that I'm totally attracted to her. I am not sure if she just wants to be friends or something more than that. Since she's my buddy's ex-wife, it feels a little weird to think if her in that way. What do you think?