Back Again....Different Girl, Same Story....
Well I guess you all might have known it wouldn't be long before I was back. I got over the last one alright but then along comes another girl to make my life seemingly a living hell.
I went to a mates birthday party and kissed her, and she freaked out and started crying about it. She apologised to me for it, and then 5 days later I was going out with her. I know I love this girl. But day before yesterday she said she couldnt have a relationship with me, but that she loved me and would have changed her life for me.
Those three little words are something I've been waiting to hear for a long time. I hadn't pressured her into saying it at all, she said it of her own accord, and I couldn't believe it.
Next day she broke up with me. On the spot I put three gashes in the top of my thigh.
Later on, I cried myself to sleep. I was, and now still am, heartbroken. You may ask, "it was only five days, whats the big deal?"...well yeah I agree, but she says she still loves me, thats what really hurts.
That night I put 17 more cuts in my thigh. And then last night another 13. It doesn't feel like enough by any stretch of the imagination.
I just feel so low at the moment with the knowledge that she loves me but won't have a relationship with me. I don't know what to do at the moment.
I tried to go and talk to someone today but being Good Friday there was no one there, so I find myself returning to my old friends here for advice.
I can relate with you on cutting yourself to deal with the pain. And I did believe it helped me. If fact, I did so this morning because I was feeling really low, but then something hit me. I don't want to sound cheesy or anything, but I had this sudden revelation. I knew what was bringing me down: Myself.
I felt sorry for myself and pitying myself for the shit that's been going on in my life for a while now. But while reading through some threads this morning, I realized pitying myself is the stupidest thing in the world I should be doing. And I let far too many things get to me that I really should not have let get to me.
From plain experience I'm going to say this (and I'm sure others have told you the same): Don't Cut! And I say that with such urgency! Cutting will only bring you down more. Don't let your emotions bring you down (I've let that happen to me far too many times to count). I know it's hard to hear those words from someone, and then something like that come along to ruin everything.
Just calm down and take a deep breath. Crying is a good thing, it's much better than cutting yourself to make the pain go away because it's only a temporary solution.
Did you ask her why she couldn't be with you? Perhaps getting some kind of answer to that will help ease your pain.
I know the emotional pain can kill you inside.
Just please don't cut yourself any more!
I realize this is all a rushed reply, but I hope something of what I've said helps.
Can I ask, y do you care so much about girls? i say fuc* em! and let them screw with you? i know what it feels like to be you cuz i had a lot of people turn there back on me, lie to me. maybe u should take a break from dating or trying to establish a relationship until you feel better about yourself :wink: i kno, easier said than done...goodluck
i think that you should not sell yourself short. why give up so fast. if you really do love her and if she love you back than you got to try to figure out a way of working things out. DONT GIVE UP.
i know that cutting yourself serves as a emotional pain killer but remember its hurting you more and its only temporary. the emotions that your were trying to supress are going to come back. you have to deal with them, or try to fix the situation that you are going through. its the best way to help heal the bad feelings inside of you.
there has to be a reason as to why she can't have a relationship, and it must be a pretty serious amnd important one if she really loves you and she's putting it on hold. talk to her and ask her what it is exactly that is stopping her. don't give up on the idea that someday you will be together, if it is the real thing, which it sounds like to be, you don't wanna give up. fight for her, show her how much her truely means to you.
cutting can help for a short period, recently i have been cutting (only happens when im at home for holidays from uni, hmmmmmm) and i find that it doesnt do much after the initial release.
just talk to her and give her time if thats what she needs, in the end it will all be worth it, just ask her what she needs.
take care hunni
you once said that a problem halved was a problem shared, but i couldnt tell you coz i didnt know you cared
I miss you
There is a reason, but I'm not at liberty to post it.
I've just got in from a great night out, second on the trot.
I feel like shit tho, so I know whats coming as soon as I'm done here.
How can I show her how much she means to me? I've told her I'll do anything, I've texted her asking her if she is alright, I've rang her every time she's asked me to.
why do I care about girls so much? I dont. Why do I care about this girl so much? because she's amazing. I've never been so sure of anything before in my life.
I'm pissed at the moment which isn't helping. I've been told alcohol is a depressant, but knowing that doesn't make me not want to do what I'm about to do.
Don't know what else to do.
I hate my life. Regardless of what I do or how fucking hard I try I always get this shit shoved back in my face, and I've had enough of it.
I know there is enough shit in my room to end this all right now. Thing is it really doesn't seem like such a terrible idea.
:s just ignore that. was very drunk last night. got distracted n fell asleep anyway.
Throw away the razors and get over it. Theres 6 billion other people in the world dont kill your self over one.
One? Try four that have all done a similar thing.
Sometimes when you notice a trend like that it makes you realise things will never change.
I just don't feel happy at the moment unless I'm pissed or stoned, and even then I know that once I'm neither of those things I have to deal with it all over again.
I have work to do for school and I feel so low I just don't care about it. I have a few weeks left before I leave and I should be enjoying myself, spending quality time with my friends before they all go off to uni. But oh hell no I have to feel like shit.
No, things arent gonna change if you stay at home and sit on your ass. Theres plenty of women in the U.K. just go out an find one and if she's right then she's right and if she's not then she's not. Go out with your friends if you guys do something fun then it will take your mind off of the situation. But whatever, do what you like.
a suggestiong could be just to be friends with her for a while, maybe she'll know what she is missing. If you really do love her, cool it and attack it from a different angle. I had the same exact problem with my curent girlfriend. For 8 months i had to be her friend and prove to her i would always be there for her regaurdless of the situation. She even had a boyfriend when i met her and she told me she had feelings for me. In the end, being the friend and showing you care is what can make a girl want to be with you. Don't ask her how to make her happy, just make her happy. I gauruntee if you can make her happy, you will A. End up with a great girlfriend B. End up with a great friend. Its all win/win. If thats not an option, there are so many other girls out there...trust me they are just as needy as us guys.