Ok so ive been dating this girl for almost 2 month and we have had sex twice already (im 17 shes 16)...but we have known each other for close to 8 years...but anyway both times we have had sex they have lasted over an hour and one was over 2 1/2 and she seems to enjoy it but my problem is that i cant cum....ive tried taking my mind off it and jus enjoy it but with the regular condoms i cant hardly feel n e thing like the only sensitive part of my dick is the very tip of the head so i bougt some sensitive trojans to try out....i havent gotten the chance to try them yet but even when she gives me head i love it but i cant cum and i feel like like she is wondering if shes not pleasing me because i cant or like if i jus cant....and i know that i can lol but i dunno i try everything to take my mind off of it.....what do you guys think? i take pride in not cuming after 15 min or 1/2 hour but when it kinda drags on and i jus dont feel it at all or have that feeling inside i jus get to the point where i give up the sex part and she tries with her mouth and like i said i love it but once again i cant ever cum! HELP ME PLEASE!thanks,nighthawk88
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What should i do?
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Sometimes it just takes time for things to work right. Are you able to keep that erection going for that long? Is she your first (so are these your first two times?) and if so, then that could be some of what is going on here. Let me know about that, then we'll chat about it a bit more. Just remember that a vagina and your masturbation technique are two very different things. Don't get frustrated over this bud...that'll probably just make it worse!
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I agree with lance. However I have a bad habit of just skimming through people's post. My idea is maybe you can try birth control pills and not use condoms. Bad advice I know but it may be the condoms that are making you not cum. You are in a monogamous relationship right? If you trust eahco ther and have taken tests to be clean. Then use BC pills and not use condoms.
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OH yea and oral sex doesn't always make the guy cum. Some guys do, some guys don't...some don't ever orgasm that way. However
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You may have worked yourself into a routine rythmn and technique that you're used to feeling in order to orgasm - through masturbation. If you've masturbated one way for a long time, you can get used to achieving orgasm that way, using the rythmn, pressure and technique that you're used to.You may also be feeling under pressure, or a little out of your comfort zone, this can be subconsious - so you may not know it.I'd try to stop maturbating, just for a week or so, and then try then. Try to change the way that you masturbate or cut down. Also, try to find some time and place that you know you'll never ever be disturbed. Build up the atmosphere and the moment. Go away and visit a hotel or a beachside lodge, plan a nice night and build an atmos with a spa bath, massage, music and just being together. Eat dinner naked - whatever!The point is to make sure your mind is free from everything else, but don't consciously think about having a free mind - it defeats the purpose.Hope it helps, and good luck.
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I'm sorry, but suggesting using birth control in leiu of condoms is stupid. They are teenagers. Birth Control Pills do not prvent the spread of STI's and HIV. Birth Control is a preventative measure not a PROTECTION measure. Don't make a silly decision early in life, that you may not be able to correct down the road. Continue to play safe, and work on your problem together.
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I have talked to her about the BC pills as a procautionary thing along with condoms but they screw with her emotions totally and shes a well accomplished varsity soccer player since 8th grade (we are both juniors) and as is she only has her period once every 2-3 months because she is SO active...so the no condom is out of the question def. and yes she is my first, however im not hers, i know of 2 long term relationships (over a year) that she has told me they had sex and once was unprotected when they were a little tipsy which kinda didnt make me too happy but i cant get frustrated about the past.....i know both the kids and i think that she is telling me the truth that those are the only 2 that she has had sex with because she has never lied to me before....and yes i can keep an errection for that long but like she always uses the excuse that she isnt flexable enough or stong enough to be on top to try something new....she was supprised that i was strong enough because im a skinny tall kid (im almost 6'5) with little muscle mass but they are toned and my shoulders and lower body are every stong because im a varsity baseball player.....i dunno really i'll have to try the no masturbating thing and jus kinda let it build up but then i get really ansy sometimes and i feel like im coming on to strong to her but shes not the shy type like the first time she gave me head we were leading to it and she jus looks at me and asked me if i wanted it instead of working her way down....lol i love her to death and she has told me that she loves me.....so i would like for her to kno that she is pleasing me it sounds weird i know but i jus kinda want to prove to her that she really is pleasing me
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Hey i miss read something....i ment she is active as in sports and running.....also she is not my first first but she is the first in over 2 years....i lost my verginity when i was 14 to my girl of 2 years at that time when she was forced to move 3 hours away and was later involved in a head on collision with a drunk driver where she didnt make it through.....but this one is only my second but my first i was able to cum but then again i was SO excited i only lasted about 15 min then.....i think its kinda physological type thing but i guess i jus gotta keep my hand away from there and see if tomorrow night we have sex which is prolly a no because i dunno when we will get to be alone really but i dunno for sure if not i have to keep from doing it all next week to see if next week if we have sex to see if i can acctually cum....
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In reply to:she always uses the excuse that she isnt flexable enough or stong enough to be on top to try something new....Woman-on-top positions usually make you last longer. There are many positions that don't need her to work hard, and one of them might suit you better.
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There could be many things that cause this. Maybe your going to slow and need to have sex faster or harder. One of you might not be performing that well. I agree with other posts as it also might be condoms as the problem.
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But like i said i really cant do anything about it because with the BC pill issue that i talked to her about turned into a huge deal that they affect her moods and her ability and will to play soccer so yeah i dunno really and like the arguement almost turned into us breaking up and i def dont want that because yes we have only been dating for 2 months, but we have known each other for ever, i love her so much and she means the world to me so like i would rather go condom then not at all.....we'll have to try the no masturbation for awhile n see if that helps and what not.....anyone else got an idea of what i can do to acomplish cummin with her?
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Here are a couple of tips....stay out of your head...don't overthink this and worry about it too much...just relax, enjoy the pleasure and enjoy what ever is going on at the moment. Keep working at it and try to slow down on the masturbation and when you do...change something about it everytime! Meaning, change your grip, speed, technique...if you don't use lubrication to masturbate....add some. This will help "train" your penis to respond to different types of stimulation and it may help with what you're dealing with.