I have been married for a few years now, but find myself regularly having sex dreams about other women. The women may be coworkers, friends of the wife, or local college students. Only some of the dreams are actually wet dreams, the rest don't result in ejaculation but are still sexual in nature. I am in my 30's - wet dreams are for 14 yr olds. How should I handle this? P.S. For those of you who follow my posts, my wife rarely has sex, and I have been very unsuccessful in changing this.
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Married, but sex dreams about other women
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Im sorry to hear that things havn't got any better hon, as for wet dreams, i often wake up wet after dreaming particularly erotic dreams.
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As was discussed in a parallel thread, regular masturbation will go a long way toward fixing your wet dream problem. It might not do much good for your relationship problem.
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Marriage doesn't automatically turn off feelings about other women, so what you're experiencing is quite normal, skinnerguy. Since you're not getting much from your wife, your imaginative subconscious is looking elsewhere for its dream fantasies. There's not much you can, or need, do about it.
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this is very normal. I am married and we have an enviable sex life and I STILL dream about everyone everywhere all the time.You don't have to feel bad and you also don't have to tell her what you dream of.
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I'm just wondering...okay, it's the therapist it me...maybe there's a communication piece waiting to happen. If she knew what you were experiencing...although you would really need to be delicate about it. If you could maybe explain to her that you're having wet dreams, maybe that would help explain that she's not meeting your sexual needs. When she starts seeing it as a biological thing and that you're very normal, and not that you're a horn-dog......just something to think about.But tread lightly!
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Skinnerguy - is your wife a big woman? if not, does she know how you feel about big women, if so that might make her insecure about sex, and if she is, that in itself might be a reason for her lack of sex drive.....just a thought.
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Thanks for your replies, AW honey. Although she has dropped from a 24-26 to a 16 (her idea, I never pressured) she is still considered by most to be a BBW. The fact that I like big women turns her on, she even likes me to talk about how much I enjoy her size while making love. She was even the first one to use the word "fat" in the bedroom. In fact, she has confided in me that thinking of her size is often what brings her over the top to orgasm (she is BI and likes big girls also). Sex with her is usually good - except it is only once every few weeks.
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I love to hear of a big woman who finds herself sexy, there are so many pressures on women these days to look thin etc, but i find some of the most attractive women are those who DON'T look like a skeleton - yuk theres nothing worse!!!You are both obviously comfortable about talking to eachother about stuff hon, what does she say about the fact that you don't have sex very often?
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I think its nice that she is that comfortable in her skin, as most everybody isnt. and im glad that you can overlook weight, unlike most guys.
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Well duh, if you dont have sex with your wife, and this is the only women you can have relations with for the rest of your life, then ofcourse you will have dreams about other women. Either try to have sex with her, mastubate more, and if she completly never has sex with you then personally I would leave her.
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In reply to:
and if she completly never has sex with you then personally I would leave her.
yeah never mind if he actually loves her eh, sex IS everything *sarcasm*
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Nice, leave her cause she wont have sex, ever think she might have a bigger problem then not getting in the mood anymore? you dont just divorce someone cause they wont "put out"Have you tried four play Skinnerguy?
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lol, you beat me to that AW
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Monkey, this is what I was referring to on another post when I alluded to the fact that you often respond to posts when you really don't know what you're talking about. I'm actually trying to be friendly here (since you gave me a good rating and everything). Just don't feel like you have to give an answer to everything that pops up. Just stick to the things things you know. The last thing you want to do is fall for the lie that having an answer to everything will make us like you more. We like you already.
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In reply to:Have you tried four play Skinnerguy? Nah, maybe someday I'll start with a threesome first and then try to work my way up to four.
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lol, no need to get sarcastic! just tryin to help... :smile:
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Hey skinnerguy. I think you need to talk to your wife, tell her how much you love her and think shes beautiful, and communicate, tell her that you would like to make love to her more. I wouldn't approach the subject of the dreams, as she may take it that you are blaming her for something, which I'm sure you're not. Maybe she just needs more reassurance and love, are there any other issues between you? Honestly I think it will get better if you just make time to talk to her and make sure you don't phrase yourself as though you are blaming her - which may make her resent you or feel hurt. Hope everything goes ok
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Hopefully you can let your wife know that you are not being satisfied in a serious disscussion, and talk about what you need and what she needs to be satisfied.as far as dreams about other women, don't worry about that it is perfectly fine, and may become less once you are having more sex.
