Okay for any of you know the recent drama that has happened to me you may or may not know that I got rid of it and have happily moved on. So I've been going along my merry way and hanging out with friends I've made at work etc. etc. Well one in particular has started kind of showing a bit of interest. At least in my own opinion. At first I didn't think I would like him because I usually tend to go for what everyone calls the "bad boy". And this guy is genuinely nice. Allbeit, it was wierd hanging out with him because of it. But then we started to really hit it off. Well neither of us want people at work finding out so I started looking for another job in a hospital setting (where I need to be anyway). Well, about a week ago he was at my house. We watched a movie and then we walked to his car and he kissed me. I was even smiling as I was walking back to my house. So all is great right? So far, but not quite. My sister's boyfriend (we all work at the same place..wierd huh?) asks him if he and I are going to out. The guy says we might. I don't mind the "we might". It kinda says he wants to take it slow. But here's the problem and it's not with him. The problem is with me. I don't trust anyone. I question and analyze and OVER analyze EVERYTHING. I asked questions like: why he would he want to be with me? What does he think he's going to get? Why did he kiss me? Did he do it because he thought I wanted him to? Because he felt sorry for me? Did someone at work (the person I no longer speak with) tell him I was easy and so he thought he could get in my pants?These are the types of questions I ask. Am I insane? How do I stop this? It's really starting to take it's toll on me. But I've been cheated on, lied to, - I even dated a guy who hit me (once..but after that he couldn't even stand on his own two feet...). How do you recover from stuff like that? And another thing...why in the world if he likes me is he talking to my sister's boyfriend about it?? Why not just tell me that he likes me? Granted, I haven't exactly told him but I should think it was fairly obvious. Yes, I know I need to just cowboy up and be blunt about it right? Any help (except for "stop being a sap Cenfath) would be so greatly appreciated.
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Going Crazy
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In reply to:
why in the world if he likes me is he talking to my sister's boyfriend about it??
Perhaps he is scared to say it to you directly, because he's scared you might reject him?
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In reply to:
why he would he want to be with me? What does he think he's going to get? Why did he kiss me? Did he do it because he thought I wanted him to? Because he felt sorry for me? Did someone at work (the person I no longer speak with) tell him I was easy and so he thought he could get in my pants?
The fact that he didn't try anything on sooner, says a lot to me, that the kiss by the car wasn't a trying his luck thing, he did it as he was going, more of a 'had a lovely time and i really like you ' kiss. Did you ask for a kiss? if not, then the reason he did it is cos he likes you ya muppet, not cos he felt that he ought to, or that it was something you wanted - cos he felt at that moment that it was something he wanted to do. I think if he thought you were easy and just wanted to get in your pants he would have tried it on long before he was leaving, especially if he felt you were a 'sure thing'.
As for talking to your sisters boyfriend about it, it doesn't sound like he initiated that conversation, your sisters boyfriend asked him a question and he answered it. Not everyone is comfortable about discussing their feelings in a straight up manner, and he may feel all kinds of things, but not wanna scare you away. Hes probably thinking, since your attracted to bad boys as you say, that he can't compete with them and doesn't wanna ruin his chance with you by doing anything dumb (but hey he will hes a man LOL)
As for asking yourself all these questions, you sound a little insecure about yourself hon, and having read how you have been treated in the past by BF's then i can guess why. Sometimes in life we just have to pull the walls down a little and take a chance, you might get hurt, or it might be the best thing ever- but you won't know unless you do it. You have to be secure in the fact that you are a great person to be with, and any man would be lucky to be with you, the guys who have lied and cheated well - its their loss! -
Wow, you're really over-analyzing this (I never thought I'd say that). Please, give the nice guy a chance! As Ineligible said, people tend to be afraid to open up to each other out fear of rejection.Once you've been with nice guy, you'll never go back to bad boy.
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Steve - I WANT to give the nice guy a chance. He opens doors and asks me questions and doesn't just assume stuff about me. And I know that deep down but I still ask the same questions. lol And I know this isn't something I'm going to fix overnight and that it's going to take some time for me to get a grip. I know all about the nice guy thing. Always wanted one but somehow managed to find the guys who ACT like nice guys and then turn out to be real donkeys...AngelWitch - You are so right about the self-esteem but I like to think I put up a good front. I know I'm at least cute. I'm told so all the time. Even by patients in the hospital. So I know I'm not repulsive or anything. Given my track record of mishaps and failed relationships however, some of that is bound to wear on your self-esteem. Up until now I really thought the only type of guy I could attract was the "not so nice guy". So, it would only be logical for me to ASSume that this guy would turn out to be the same. I know that's a dumb thing to do and I'm probably worrying about nothing. I don't want it to seem like I'm complaining (even though technically, I am) because I love my life and if I hadn't dated all those losers, I might not have found a good one. But it's just trying to reassure myself that he really is a good one that's starting to get to me. So is it agreed that I should just cowboy up and tell him myself? Or do I risk scaring HIM?
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*passes Cenfath cowboy hat n chaps*
you know you have to.......*hugs* -
I already own a hat and a pair of chaps!
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If he's already kissed you, then cowboying up would not be out of line...it's pretty clear that he likes you.
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Then Yeehaaaa go get em cowboy....cough I mean then you go girl
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Well...I did it....
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......................AND!!!!!!!!!!
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And I'm officially taken and am cooking dinner Wednesday night and taking it to him at work.
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whoooohooooobig smile i am sooo happy for you............
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All's well...That's great!
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I don't know why I didn't just say it sooner...It was better than sitting here wondering all darn day. Anywho...thanx you guys! You're the best!
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Woohoo!!
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All right, for any of you guys that know how to cook I need some help. I can cook. That's not the problem. It's figuring out WHAT to cook. I kinda want to "show off" a little...but not too much.
My brother suggest my baked BBQ chicken ((it's awesome)) and twiced baked potatoes. But I'm kinda lost as to whether I should cook another vegetable and what should it be if I do? Is dessert appropriate? What kind if any should I make? I mean you name it, I can cook it. And I love to grill. But it's still a little early to be busting out propane or the charcoal and lighter just yet. I'm a lean mean cooking machine but I don't wanna over do it. HELP!!
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In reply to:Is dessert appropriate? when is dessert NOT appropriate?????? the chicken and potatoes thing sounds lovely, why not just do some salad with it or something.......I am a poor cook, i don't enjoy doing it so im not very good at it LOL Im sure whatever you do will be great, he will be with you for one thing, and i think that above everything else will be what will makes his night- the food (and dessert) will just be the 'icing on the cake'
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I need to give you some fo my recipes then. They're easy and simple and there's absolutely NO way to burn them if you watch them carefully. I have a Bailey's Irish Cream Cheesecake recipe if you're interested in trying it. :laughing:
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Your dinner sounds delicious! I always like corn on the cobb with BBQ chicken, but that's kind of messy...but then again so is BBQ chicken. I guess I'm no help, sorry. LOLCould I get that cheesecake recipe? My man loves cheesecake.