Where's Steve??

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Maybe. I just like giving him a hard time is all.

I just think it's kind of weird that he does post at such unusual and inconsistent parts of the day...but oh well.Also when you make Ineligible take a crack at you...wow...you've done something out of line.

Yeah...I have to agree with that. Steve, what do you do all day? I understand you have no job. Did you ever think about a part time job to take some of the time off your hands that you seem to have too much of? Also, I have never known Ineligible to take cracks at many people.

Ineligible the Moderator complains:In reply to:Steve, your exercise for today is to find the difference between what I said and what you said I said. Sharpen your thinking! This isn't the first time you've done this.-------------------------------------Thread in question: MY GIRLFRIEND'S PREGNANT!!!!!!!Subject in question...Screen name: }}-{{e@d Bu$t@Real name: Head Mutha f*ckin BustaBio: ...male, 15 years of age, ...i am a recovering "addict"}}-{{e@d Bu$t@ said:In reply to:k, like the name suggests, we (my gf and i) think she's pregnant. I sleep over at her place about twice a week, at the least, and everytime i do...we end up fucking like rabbits all night...ive slept over at her place about 10 times now...and we've probably done it about 30 times at least. To make it worse, we rarely use a condom. However, i have never actually came in her, ive always been able to pull out about 5 seconds before... But what im worried about is the pre-cum...cuz i know i MUST precum inside of her...thats how we think shes pregnant...shes late by about a week and a half, her stomach hurts, and she is EXTREMELY off the wall...(just now she bitched at me for going off msn for doing my HOMEWORK)...Should i be concerned? What should i do? Are there any signs of pregnancy that should be evident at this time? What makes it alot worse is that we're only 16...her parents dont even know we're dating, if they did, i doubt they would let me sleep at her house, in the same room, same bed. (they think im her gay best friend...LOL...omg......URGH tHAT PISSES ME OFF, im homophobic for shits sake!) but yea, any help or advice or ANYTHING would be greatly appreciated.I said:In reply to: Your girlfriend needs to take a pregnancy test. If she's not pregant, you're off the hook, as long as you stop having unprotected sex. If your girlfriend is having unprotected sex with you, she's not thinking very clearly. If she is pregnant, are you ready to become a father? It sounds like you are immature, even for a 15-year-old, so that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Adoption? Abortion? Those are the things you'll have to think about. Meanwhile, you've kind of screwed up your girlfriend's life, if she is pregnant. I'm not sure what the deal is with having all that unprotected sex, at least if you've been hanging around here for a while. That's strong evidence that you're nowhere near ready to be a father.Ineligible said:In reply to: Knowing a bit more about }}-{{e@d Bu$t@'s situation, I can't agree with you, SteveA. He has had to deal with things we have never had to. He has, of course, not been wise; and yet, fatherhood could be the best thing that has happened to him. }}-{{e@d Bu$t@, you do need a pregnancy test. There aren't any signs at this early stage that are definite enough.[Bolding added]I thought you were joking, so I PM'd you; you indicated that you meant what you posted.You've implied that I've misrepresented you, Ineligible. What part of "fatherhood could be the best thing that has happened to him" didn't I understand?This is not an abortion issue. My implication is that if a child is born, that it might find a much better home if it were given up for adoption.Dude, I have a great deal of respect for your intelligence, comportment, patience, and motivation to help people; everyone's allowed to say something screwy on occasion. But no one is beyond reproach.

My mom became a mother at 15.My cousin who was a troubled teen became a mother at 16. She kept her child. Caleb was the best thing that ever happened to her. He really made the difference.If you will notice Steve, Ineligible said that fatherhood COULD. He didn't necessarily say it would. You see Steve, when people become parents, lots of them will change their lifestyle and the things that they do in an effort to be the best parent they can be. I'm not saying all of them. But a lot of them do. And also, didn't Ineligible say he knew a bit more about this kids situation? I could be mistaken but I think he did.Please do your "reproaching" elsewhere. Because you're not above it yourself you know. And also, my mother didn't consider her life screwed up when she had me. I don't think it's right of you to assume that just because someone is pregnant at a young age that they're life is now "screwed".

In reply to:Please do your "reproaching" elsewhere.Only you can reproach on this thread? Sounds unfair.In reply to:Because you're not above it yourself you know.Duh.In reply to:COULDAnd you could win the lottery, so I recommend you spend your whole paycheck on Powerball tickets every week.Are you comparing your family situation with his? Have you read his postings? Was there a "recovering" 15-year-old drug addict in your family's picture?If a 15 y.o. is considering having a baby, and if they're responsible, then they need to well understand the effect it will have on their life, poverty often being one of them (apparently not a problem for your family). Are you telling me that even most 15 y.o.s who have a screwed up home life are in a good position to be responsible for the raising of a child from birth? Are you insane? Not in this society.There are lots of teens who are ill-prepared for parenthood raising kids who are growing up very troubled...on the street...in jail. It's ridiculously selfish to have a child in order to fix you own problems, and if that was your mom's and your cousin's motivation, then they were wrong.

First of all, you're an ass for assuming you know anything about my family or my life. For obvious reasons not many people here know much about me. My family is well off now but it wasn't always that way. And we still have to work for what we get. And for your information, both pregnancies were of course, accidents. My family, however, does not believe in abortion or adoption.
That first quote that you used by the way was my nice way of asking you to please lay off Ineligible. Maybe he was wrong. I don't think he was. He didn't say fatherhood would be good for him. He said it could be and he also said he knew a little bit more about the situation. So I'm going to assume that means he knows just a little bit more about the situation than you do.
I actually was not even going to post a reply to this because it's absolutely ridiculous that someone should have to tell you to leave a moderator alone. I still don't get it. Do you just come here to criticize the advice and/or guidance that someone else gives? And I don't understand why you think you need to reprimand everyone's opinions. It's just beyond me. It's like yours is better than someone else's.

I think the extended family has a big role in the equation. A supportive family can help make things work out by helping the kids finish their education and helping with the child. Without family support, they will have a hard time.

Totally agreed.

In reply to:First of all, you're an ass for assuming you know anything about my family or my life. For obvious reasons not many people here know much about me. My family is well off now but it wasn't always that way. And we still have to work for what we get. And for your information, both pregnancies were of course, accidents. My family, however, does not believe in abortion or adoption.I don't know anything about your family; I just think it's ridiculous to project your family onto others.I can understand not believing in abortion (although I keep an open mind), but not believing in adoption is idiocy. There are lot examples I can think of, but one particularly comes to mind: A guy who was working on the house of a friend of mine's parents would bring his daughter, filthy and unsupervised, and leave her at the house while he was working. The wife was off screwing around, and the husband knew he wasn't cut out to take care of the child. He wound up leaving the girl with my friends' parents. They eventually legally adopted her, with all the legal stuff that involved. She had some developmental problems, but she got the attention she needed. Her new parents loved her as their own daughter. She would have been completely screwed if she'd stayed with her biological parents.In reply to:That first quote that you used by the way was my nice way of asking you to please lay off Ineligible. Maybe he was wrong.Not just wrong. Irresponsible.In reply to:I don't think he was.Then the above then applies to you as well.In reply to:He didn't say fatherhood would be good for him. He said it could be and he also said he knew a little bit more about the situation. So I'm going to assume that means he knows just a little bit more about the situation than you do.Stop parsing words. Wrong is wrong.In reply to:I actually was not even going to post a reply to this because it's absolutely ridiculous that someone should have to tell you to leave a moderator alone.This is utterly retarded. Moderators are not the Pope. If a moderator gives bad medical advice, or tells someone to do something stupid and dangerous, should it just stand without comment? Dude, this isn't the military. We get to question the generals.In reply to:I still don't get it. Do you just come here to criticize the advice and/or guidance that someone else gives?I know your reading comprehension is better than that.In reply to:And I don't understand why you think you need to reprimand everyone's opinions. It's just beyond me. It's like yours is better than someone else's.Stop criticising others yourself or hold your tongue. Since you're not stupid, you realize that every opinion is not correct or good. I don't criticize everyone's opinions. Have you been keeping a tally?I don't know what secrets Ineligible knows about the poster in question, but some random drugged out irresponsible teen might read his comment, think that moderators are infallible, and do something stupid.That's the thing people often don't get: It's important to address the OP's specific issue, but also realize that lots of people in different situations, but with similar problems, may be reading the thread.And being against adoption is like being against good nutrition. Just ridiculous.

Don't you dare talk about Ineligible like that! Ineligile is definetely not irresponsible! As cenfath already said, Ineligible said it "could" be a good thing, he didn't say it would! So just shut up about this whole thing.I've known Ineligible for a long time now, and I owe my life to him (literally)! He has given me tons of advice and it's safe to say that is was never wrong or irresponsible!

Very well Steve, let me rephrase. My family is against giving our own up for adoption. My mother and I raised my cousin from the time she was born until the time she was four. I used to take her to school with me. Imagine a girl bringing a baby into her 8th grade English classroom. And I was fourteen years old. It wasn't something I asked for. It was something I just did. It might have been the best thing to happen to me. It showed me how to act responsibly and how to think just about me but for the life of another human being.

There are cases where yes, adoption should be considered, sure. I won't disagree with you but my family does not give up their own. The family helps out or they figure out a way to better themselves for the sake of their children. We are all very tight knit. Yeah, we fight amongst ourselves, we're family. It happens. But we treat our family like a circle. If one is weak it weakens the whole circle and we all work with each other to keep the circle together. Maybe I should use I don't understand rather than I don't agree with. I would like to adopt and at least remove one child from that kind of situation like what you've described but I do not understand why a parent would not want to better themselves.

Oh what the hell...I'm not even getting into this...

By the time I finish writing this the thread will be even longer. It wasn't my intention to start an argument, least of all an argument about me.Steve is of course right that moderators aren't infallible. I was made a moderator by invitation, and I hardly think it was because I was seen as being infallible. In my view moderators are just people who are given an extra job to do because it looks like they will do it competently. That says nothing about their general wisdom, and gives no grounds for putting them on a pedestal.There's no reason to assume I don't make mistakes, and say things that are wrong. I do, frequently.I'm sorry if I was seen as taking more than a very gentle crack at SteveA. I have a great deal of respect for him. He is obviously intelligent and caring; however, he sometimes runs things together than need to be distinguished. There's a bit of wooliness in his thinking sometimes, and sometimes a lack of depth. (Sorry, Steve, this is the teacher in me coming out.)Steve, my comments were based on the concept that good can come from bad - the same concept that led Augustine to exclaim "O felix culpa". As I pointed out in my PM, it would be wrong for }}-{{e@d Bu$t@ to have a child for his own benefit. If it happened anyway, however, it would be possible (by no means certain) for it to turn his life around. He is someone, I believe, in need of a better centre to his life.I don't want to say much about }}-{{e@d Bu$t@'s specific situation. I've heard nothing from him since that last post, and I'm a bit concerned. SteveA is looking at the situation from the point of view of the child, which is a valuable corrective to my point of view, and one that surely should be given the higher priority. Now, I don't think that a child raised in a family that doesn't have much money is generally badly disadvantaged - what matters far more, surely, is love and affection and caring and responsibility. There are so many wealthy families where these qualities are lacking! I happen to feel that }}-{{e@d Bu$t@ does have these qualities. However, sdp has raised the important issue of college fees, which is a serious issue in the US context (not in my own). It is surely true that a daughter or son of America who does not have access to a substantial college fund is seriously disadvantaged. It is an issue that perhaps every family in America who is not well off needs to consider. Perhaps they should all give up their children for adoption?I'll leave it there, and hope that others will also, or will take it to PMs.

Ineligible, Steve and Cenfaith. Why do you insist on making replies of such great length! I'm gone for a day and it takes me AGES to catch up! I just don't have the concentration level! Of course there is no point in stopping now, I've already lost the plot.And also, when I'm very bored, I become one of those people that clicks 'Main Index' over and over again looking for new posts. Most of the time I do it at about 2:00am, kinda like right now. I have school in a few hours, so I'll go. I don't want to make this post stretch on really really really long for no reason except to try to emphasise how I believe myself to be intelectually superior to everyone else.

Just do what I do:If I don't feel like reading the long posts I jsut stop reading

Self-indulgence warning: The following is information that no one would possibly care about, until they dig up the Web archives thousands of years hence. Then they'll surely care.Bobalicious, I find your avatar sig thing helpful, so I know who my ISP-of-the-moment is, so I can set up the proper SMTP address to send e-mail. Whenever I go to a new location with Voltaire the Laptop, I look for a Bobalicious post. Lately BellSouth is beating the cable company, with an occasional Covad here and there. I've moblilized Voltaire around downtown Boston, all over Miami, and points in beteween (it's pretty hard to find a WiFi signal in rural areas).It appears that Verizon DSL (what I had in Boston) is pretty reliable and less screwy than BellSouth DSL...we'll see.

In reply to: Why do you insist on making replies of such great length! exactly

cenfath:OK, then your family doesn't believe in adoption for your family. You family sounds like a very good, responsible, loving, supportive family, so that makes sense. That's a lot different from the 14 y.o. pregnant crack addict who lives in the street and thinks that that's just fine. There's a spectrum of possibilities between those extremes. But in your family's case, I think it's great they they kept the children.InSearch:If Ineligible starts a cult, you can be the first to join. I respect Ineligible, but I don't respect anyone I can't criticize.Ineligible:Maybe I misconstrued what sdp said, but I didn't read "support" as "financial support". I read it as being able to support all of the needs of the child (love, security, food, housing, health care, etc.).But on the subject of poverty, the (near lack of a) safety net in the U.S. would be considered almost barbaric by Western European standards. There are a lot of women here who don't get prenatal care, which turn out to be a disatrously expensive strategy if the pregnancy runs into complications.Our former president Ronald Reagan begat a mythology of welfare queeens driving Cadillacs. At that point it began to be OK to think that people are poor because they want to be, or that they're lazy, or that they're just no good. The safety net has been fraying ever since.That means that teenagers who have babies, neglect their education, and don't have a good home life are pretty much screwed and destined to live in poverty for a long time; the dole here isn't like the dole where you are. People on Medicare (socialized medicine for the very poor) generally get substandard medical care. And if you get a job and earn a bit of money, you lose the Medicare benefit. You're trapped.The U.S., Canada, and Western Europe are not agrarian societies, and are not set up for 15 y.o.s to have children. It's doable, but very hard for parents who really have their act together. If the parents have issues, it will be very difficult for the child to come out unscathed.

Sometimes brevity indicates great thoughtfulness and cleverness. Sometimes brevity indicates superficiality and laziness. Sometimes it's appropriate, sometimes it's not.Having a short attention span is the current in-thing. No more books or newspapers; just soundbites with colorful graphics and noisy music on your favorite cable news channel.I command you to read a book!

oh please, didn't I command you to do the same thing last month?In a world of 'sound bytes', you should practice short, sisinct and sarcastic statements.