Okay I've been dating this guy almost 6 months now , we are taking it slow, developing our relationship by getting to know eachother first before we have sex I suppose. He is the one who wants to wait, an I'm sorta having a tough time with his contempt attitude not becoming physical with me. My insecurities are running on the feeling he may just not be that sexually attracted to me. Cause there are other ways to have fun an not go all the way, an he seems not to interested in trying to get hands on me, getting to at least know our bodies together and turn ons. I sometimes try to get his blood pumping down thereby giving him a hand job , but there's no recipication to turn me on. Most of the time he rejects me when i start getting to touchy feely, in fact its been a month since i've tried Im tired of being turned down. An when I try to talk to him, asking when he will wanna fool around he seems to get irritated like nothings ever good enough for me an its all about sex. Well Im thinking I want us to have some sexual energy an chemistry an how does he know nothings good enough if he never seems to try to act on it, something other than his excuses on this little problem, that I worry too much. Well I do worry cause I really like him , he's really nice in other ways more friendly like cuddly, but nothing further . I'm trying to be patient , like he says I should be. I enjoy spending time with him , Its just i can't help it that i feel frustated, especially in bed I want him so bad an it hurts cause he may just not have it for me . Or maybe I there's something else with him that i don't understand his issue with sex or me. I feel like the guy in the relationship all horndog , instead of the resisting girl which seems more typical huh? I feel pathetic.
Sorry, just wonder what others think on this , plse be honest ,,, kare
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He's content not having sex
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well, how far have you gone?
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Hmmm, tough situation. I think more than likely there's a reasoning behind why he acts the way he does. Maybe he was hurt really bad in the past, or maybe he has issues with his own body, or maybe he's insecure with himself, etc etc.
Sometimes the easiest way isn't going to be easy at all. Communicate with each other. If he tries to cut you off, explain yourself and how you feel. Explain that you're afraid he's not sexually or maybe even physically attracted to you (I added the physically part because it will give him something to respond to). It more than likely will be tough since he's been a little testy about the subject, but stay confident.
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Maybe he is nervous and is a little taken aback by your aggressive. He's a guy and it's weird that he has NO interest in you at all.
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Well, you can tell he's interested since he cuddles, etc.
I for one wouldn't mind sitting back and not even touching a girl. The reason... I've been hurt pretty bad and having no sex has become no problem.
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As a guy id have to say worry a little bit. YOu need to tell him you have to talk and sit down with him... Let him know not to interupt you no matter what. And explain yourself, let him know if not sex you want to be physical.Let him know you wouldn't mind his fingers going down and deep inside you... Let him know he is sexy and he is yours.Let him know your his, he will hopefully find that as a turn on. Then if it comes up let him know how far your willing to go.He may be worried that he is going to fast or whatever, he may not know where to go from a certain thing. Guys are more adverse to asking then woman, so instead of making us ask give us directions. We can take them if we dont have to ask for themGrab his hand with the hand thats free when your giving him a hand job and move it down your panties and to your pussy.Take your cloths of and grab his hand and force it to your breast.If he rejects you then, you know whats up. It's time to let this one go.-Dan
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There could be so many reasons. He might be worried about his performance abilities. He might not want ant sex before marriage for religious reasons. But there are many other possible reasons.
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Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship in my opinion. Tell him how you feel, and talk about things. There may be lots of reasons that don't include not being attracted to you.....but you won't know whats up with him unless things are talked through.
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ACtually i dont think theres anything to worry about. Just cuz he doesnt want sex or whatever it may be doesnt mean theres no attraction. Ive been witha girl and was totally attracted to her but didnt have sex because i wanted to take it slow. In my opinion i think theres much more important things to a relationship than sex....thats on the botom of the list for me.
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SaintAvalon, I gently disagree."Grab his hand with the hand thats free when your giving him a hand job and move it down your panties and to your pussy. Take your cloths of and grab his hand and force it to your breast. If he rejects you then, you know whats up. It's time to let this one go." Would it be time to let him go if he sincerely cares about her and therefore doesn't want to introduce sex into the relationship just yet? What if he was been sexually abused as a child, and doesn't open himself up to intercourse as quickly as other guys? What if he is too shy, or even too shy to say that he wants to wait and make sure that she is the "one"? Would we be responding differently if the genders were switched, applauding a girl who says "If you love me, you'll wait." There are many factors to consider about a relationship like this, before making the call.Aside from that, an aversion to sex should not be the primary and immediate reason to leave someone, especially when they have only been together 6 months. *edited for a misplaced sentence
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In reply to: Would it be time to let him go if he sincerely cares about her and therefore doesn't want to introduce sex into the relationship just yet? What if he was been sexually abused as a child, and doesn't open himself up to intercourse as quickly as other guys? What if he is too shy, or even too shy to say that he wants to wait and make sure that she is the "one"? Would we be responding differently if the genders were switched, applauding a girl who says "If you love me, you'll wait." There are many factors to consider about a relationship like this, before making the call. No, after 6 months it is clear. If he was abused as a child, he would by now have to trust her. It's a fact in a relationship... After 6 months there should be a hell of a lot more talk and a lot more trust going on.If he cant open up then there are problems. If he was abused she should already know about it.After a couple months of dating my current gf she let me know she was raped. It's a fact of life, you need trust. If there isn't any there isn't a relationship. I believe this guy has issues somewhere. Either he doesn't find her attractive or they lie elsewhere. Either way she needs to find out and the way i depicted would work.If you want a less sexual way then sit him down and tell him flat out. You want to get sexual, doesn't have to be full blown sex, and you want to know why he won't... Intamacy problems so early on in a relationship show failure... Again personally id move on, not because they can't or wont have sex but because there are other issues at play he obviously isn't will to talk to you about.-Dan