Girls and Guys; Do you think its wrong to get...

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Do you think it is wrong to get a backup bf/gf? By this i mean lets say your in a relationship that has been going on for a year. Now you both don't trust to much, but do love each other more then life itself.But like everyone knows with out trust there isn't much of a relationship. So if you were worried it might end, but know you yourself can't be with out her so you decide to go and get another just incase.Do you think that is ok? I am in this boat, i love her so much and with out her i don't eat i don't sleep. I figure it might be best if i start meeting some ladies, and try and get one interested. So if her and i do break i don't have to cry and die. The new girl (sorry girls) would be someone i would more or less probably use. Some one that would be sex so i could take my mind of the one i loved and lost. Of cours eyou never know if it becomes more but im guessing if the girl got interested in me and knows i have a gf then i wouldn't want her in the end... So thats my q for both sexs. You think it's alright to get a backup? Explain.-Dan

IMO, it's not okay.Explanation: My sense of morality says so.

Well if you don't trust your girlfriend after dating for a year, I think it's time to do something about it or just break up with her... and it seems you're not interested in this girl anymore...So what you're doing I wouldn't call "getting a backup" ... to me it sounds like you're looking for someone and once you find someone else you'll break up with your current girlfriend and jump on the new one... But still not okay I think... break up with your current girlfriend before looking for a new one...

you just described a situation that happened to me.. i started feeling like i was just someone he can go to for sex because when i talked to him, he started telling me how much he likes my chest.. ooohhh what i did to him after i saw him again. ahem. anyway. yes, its very wrong! if you think you need a backup, even if its just to get your mind off the first girl, it means you have doubts about your relationship.

I think it's wrong. Just break it off.

I think some of you might have missed the point, or not fully understand my story.I had to move to a small town, so i was depressed, as well i moved in with my daad i had never met. So while there i met her a month in, now she was younger and was way into drugs/partying. As well turns out she was a liar, major one.Well through out our turbulant year we both did stupid shit, her more so then me. I have since cleaned up my act and made sure nothing came between us. Though she has done some more shit sence, she has for the most part fixed it up.She also has bipolar so it can be tough at times when she freaks out. Now she had to move back to the small town while i moved out of it...I love her so much, and would never want to leave her. As for the backup, it really would be more as a well she tossed me out finally so i would go to the backup just so i wouldn't even have to fret or worry.I don't want to lose her, i don't think she is boring and no i am not bored of her. She does have nice boobs (to the one thats talking about that), but thats not why i love her. I love her eyes, her smile, and the way she helps me through so much... I love that she is the one i care about, the one i wish to marry.She is perfect for me in so many ways. She really, truly completes me. But, as with everything there has to be a problem. Our past is our problem, and it may be to much to overcome.I am not a dick, or a bad guy as many woman here may now think. I love this woman with all my heart and have written her countless love letters (some upward of 10 pages of romance). Sometimes because of the past i feel i may be waisting my romance, my love, my time with her. That is what hurts me most.Hence for the backup, if i lose this one i'd be crushed. I couldn't stand it, to be alone, to be with out her calls or her love... So i figure if i had a girl that was more or less just a friend that was willing to be a friend with benifits couldn't that help? Couldn't that benifit me, and prevent me from wanting or trying somthing stupid?Hum-Dan

If you really love this girl why the hell do you want to have another girl on the side?"Couldn't that benifit me, and prevent me from wanting or trying somthing stupid?"Aren't you already doing soemthing stupid by basically cheating on your girlfriend?

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> If you really love this girl why the hell do you want to have another girl on the side?
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Thats exactly what i was thinkin

I might be wrong but I don't think he's saying he wants to cheat on his current girlfriend. He wants to find another girl that he thinks likes him and keep her at arms length. If his current g/f breaks up with him he'll already have another girl waiting in the wings. If that makes any sense.

But in any case...IT'S WRONG. Don't do it unless you wanna cause all parties involved some un-needed torture.

If you have a backup girlfriend (which i don't agree with by the way) then you may be more inclined to give up when things get tough with you and your girl, simply cos you know you have someone else there waiting. Go through what you have to go through but don't drag someone else into the relationship. You already said you would be using the backup girlfriend, how would you feel if your girl was doing the same?Using someone, playing with their feelings etc is NEVER good. Don't be selfish and hurt someone else cos your scared of being alone.