Hi! Um, this is my first post and you guys seem like some very interesting ppl, big ups! Well ok, im in 10th grade and I met this really nice guy and hes about 2 years older than me. We've known each other since I started high school and we've gotten pretty close to the point where we actually are beginning to be bf and gf. Well, now that I am spending so much time with him he thinks it's time to go "further" into our relationship. In other words... sex. I sorta considered this but I told him not yet, cause you know we're still getting there. But he's really been pushing it. He has been touching me in places that I don't feel comfortable with and he's not exactly as gentle as when I met him. I mean this guy has a really firm grip lol. But yeah so, he seems to be getting really anxious as if I owe him or something. What should I do? Thanx for any replies. Oh and read my info to get to know me more! The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. - Moulin Rouge (love that movie)
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Nice guy?
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Tell him either your way or no way and cut the 'lol' out
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oh sorry
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If you don't want too, tell him. If he can't respect your decision then he's an ass
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but (i know this may sound weird) im kinda scared of him. he's a really big guy. he's on the football team and i do not plan on upsetting him if you know what i mean.
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you gotta stop it before it`s too late to do anything.
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If you are not comfortable, then just say no. Do it somewhere relatively public to be sure. If he is pressuring you into it then he is not worth your time. You should only have sex with someone you are comfortable and feel safe with, and someone who understands if you want to take things slow.
You are only starting to be gf and bf, sex at the very beginning of a relationship can only go wrong (believe me, I know), even if you think you have known him for a while, you didn't seem to know this side of him, so I would definately rethink your relationship.
Be safe, don't let him make you do anything you don't want to, and Moulin Rouge is fantastic!!!
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He seems to be the type of personality where he can become violent. If he's getting forceful, I would recommend you turn your back and run. He'll end up forcing himself on you one day.
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Definetly get out.. This can lead to a violent relationship.. and trust me thats scary!
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If he's a nice guy, he can wait and go your pace. Explain to him that you want to take things slooow. Even if you don't want to go too slow, it's good to tell him that just to figure out his intentions.On a personal note:From what I've read, it seems like he's after one thing, and that's sex. He may indeed feel that you 'owe him something' since he's invested so much time into you. A lot of guys think that way. My first impression is he's not worth your time and you'll find happy hunting grounds elsewhere.
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Okay I read the rest and they didn't sound like guy replies so I'm gonna give it a go.First off, they were right when they said ditch him if he gets too aggresive. At this point it would be good to tell him where you're coming from out of the bedroom (or whatever). Just sit down and talk about it.Now here's where I think he is coming from...Probably he's dying to lose his virginity if he hasn't already. He's probably thinking "we've been at this level how long? Time to take it to the next level". For me, even when I said "okay I'll wait", I still would kind of test how much I could get away with every so often. Otherwise it felt like we'd never get anywhere. One thing that made this better was when the girl took a more active approach, then I didn't feel like it was on me to keep things progressing.But again, if he doesn't listen to what you're saying, I'd ditch him. Also, you don't owe anyone a thing. Lastly, be cautious or you might end up getting raped.I know that's a harsh thing to say and I'll probably take a hit for that comment but from what I read, I think that might be a risk. Maybe, maybe not.
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Nice Guy? Hell no. You have only just started going out properly and already hes pressuring you!If you are worried about telling him no, then you obviously think his reaction would be nasty, do you really want a relationship where you are scared to say how you feel, voice your opinion for fear of what he will say and do? This is the first step I think to a very bad relationship IF you don't put a stop to it now.I get the impression he is used to people doing what he says- just cos hes a football player?You don't owe him ANYTHING! and if he thinks you do, get rid of him cos hes really aint worth it - trust me.
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I was just about to post something quite long again, but then I happened to read Angels post which did it all much better than I could have.He is no nice guy. You just have to tell him that unless he respects Your opinion and judgement in these matters, its not going to continue.Remember, when You will have sex with him one day, then sure as hell You HAVE to feel comfortable.If You are uncomfortable in any way then stop. You owe him nothing. There is no such thing in a relationship.
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Well... I tried what you guys said. Yesterday, I talked to him in the cafeteria during lunch. I was really sweet, very nice, and very calm. I even wore unlustful clothes: my uncle's sweater, and some sweat pants... (pretty unlustful to me). Well some how through all that, it didn't go too well. I'm kinda dazed right now. I think my first mistake was talking to him on a day he was very horny and hyper (ooh what a horrid mixture for a break up). So I'll just replay what happened. *School bell rings. Everyone files into the hallway. I just come out of Spanish class. I go to my locker and there he is. I'll use his name David: Hey babeme: hiDavid: you look hott today (trying to get a feel)me: well it is kinda hot outside (pushing him away)David: you know what i mean (leaning in for a kiss . I take it since we did it before)me: well thanxDavid: so how bout it (reaching for bad places)me: well about that... i need to talk to you for a secDavid: finally made up you mindme: ill tell you laterDavid: how bout nowme: umm... no (i walk away)some time passes we meet again in the lunch room. I try to get in line but he corners me with his hands on the wallDavid: so..me: well I think we should take things slow from now onDavid: oh you wanna do it slow ok i can do thatme: no i mean our relationship we need to slow down. You're being really forceful these days.david: what?!me: calm down David: dont tell me to calm down. what's wrong with you. We agreed we were gonna do it. me: no you assumed i said yes, i said ill think about it.David: have you been messin round with mathewme: what?! noDavid: i think you have. he's been talking about getting with you and now you're doing it with him, and not giving me none (bad grammar)me: how dare you accuse me. if mathew wants to have his little fantasies let him. but if you're gonna go judging me like that then maybe you just might get nothing (second mistake)he says nothing and just stares at me i walk away (third mistake)So I'm walking back to my seat and instead go down the hallway to cry in the bathroom to cry like the jerk I am. But surprisingly, guess whos there to dry my tears (literally). So not knowing whats going on I get shoved into a locker no ones there to see. great! David:What gives you the right to talk to me like that!me: let go pleaseDavid: what makes you think you can talk to me that wayme: last time i checked you weren't my mother. now let goDavid: since when did you object to me touching youme: since now... now let me goDavid: ill touch you wherever i want (starts grabbing me places)me: get off of me you creepDavid: so now im a creep. well i'll just so you how much of a creep i can be (some would call it sexual harrassment. ok it was and i got some kicks and punches in before i grabbed his penis expecting to hurt him. But this fool moaned. So I gave him something to moan about and yanked it like I was about to pull it off. No more moaning. Thankfully my brother came out of the bathroom, saw us, cursed him out, and took me back with him to the cafeteria.) Yes, some of you were right about it. I guess I just went about it the wrong way. Well, figure this. The bum has the nerve to come back to me today during cheerleading practice and ask my forgiveness. Amazing huh?
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woah what a freak!
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Well the good thing here is that you broke up with him.
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What a prick, i would have slapped him! You are so better out of that relationship hon.......asking for forgiveness.....sigh hope you didn't give it to him. Well done hon for standing up for yourself, proud of ya hugs
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Reread what I said. Get away and never look back.
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Hey Stacey...The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.If Id be there with You right now, Id tell You to look into my eyes when Im saying this. So that You would know Im not saying this to make You feel better, Im saying this to make You understand, and know that I mean it from the bottom of my heart.You have done nothing wrong...I read that You went into the bathroom and cried... Understand that it didnt end after he harrassed You in the bathroom, it ended before. This wasnt the moment where "quilty party" was set... This should have ended alot of times before I believe..This is not love, this is not what love is supposed to be. David definetly did not care about You, he cared about Your body.In love... The guy needs to first make love to Your soul before making love to Your body, and in the latter case these two go together..You did the right thing. He didnt care about You. I doubt he has ever caressed You for long hours straight while looking into Your eyes for long minutes.If You ever meet a guy like that...David was not that guy.. I have a sister as young as You and if Id ever hear that a guy tries something like that on Her, Id beat the crap out of him. Im not a violent person, but I would not have a single regret doing that to such a jerk.And girl, never look back on such bad experiences. Learn from them, but never look back.You were right to say no, and You have the right to do so for as long as You live. Since You are young, this was a valuable experience for You. Take it as that.Never do anything unless You want to. Unless You say "yes" deep inside Your soul and feel good about it.These are the things You dont regret Stacey...I hope for the best for You Yours,Chris
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thanks guys. your rock! i love the support. expecially you chris, you made my day. and no i'm not looking back. you don't have to ask me twice. however he did offer chocolate (luv choco) and ride home. I took the chocolate (which was inspected b4 eaten) and please him take me home... riiight