Ok, so I tried posting this a bit earlier, but it didn’t seem to come up, so if I accidentally posted it somewhere else, I’m sorry… (oh I posted something similar in the sexuality… sorry to those who read this twice)This is gonna be a long post, but I hope someone will read it tho and maybe give me some good advice on what to do.Think the best thing to do is to just explain my situation first… so here’s the long story: About two years ago I met a new group of friends, who all lived together. Me and my friend who I lived with at the time, would hang out at their house or them at ours all the time. I eventually got really close to one of the girls who lived there, Lucy. She had some problems at the time, and so did I, so we ended up helping each other out a lot and being very open to each other. She still knows more about me than anyone else I know, and I’ve only known her for 2 years. After a while, we started hanging out together pretty much all the time. Her housmates went away for the summer, and so did mine, so we would stay at each others houses, and spend the nights together in her or my bed. This was just as friends, cuddling a bit.. no sex. At the time, she was in a relationship, but she wanted to break up with her boyfriend. However she felt she couldn’t as she needed the security that he gave her, even tho she didn’t like him at all anymore, it was more about knowing someone was thinking about her. Especially since she didn’t get this from her family or anyone else.Throughout the summer we would literally spend all our time together, I don’t think I really spent time with any other friends for the entire summer. She came to visit me when I went back home for a couple of weeks, which kinda surprised me, but I was really glad she would come to another country to visit me. At this point we were fooling around a lot, holding hands when walking around and making out quite a lot. Although we never told our friends about it. The last night before she went back home, we masturbated each other, we did pretty much everything besides having actual sex together, something which we started doing when I got back from being abroad.I should mention that by now I had moved into her house. This was planned before anything happened between us, and I had my reservations about it, but I thought it’d be alright as we are very good friends. It was great. I concider last summer to be the best summer of my life. Me and her alone in this house spending lots of time together, never having a single argument. Good times. However I got quite scared eventually. I have never really been in a serious relationship before (this was the first regular sex I have had, only having had one-night stands before) and I felt that I didn’t have any space. I felt like I didn’t have anywhere to go if I needed to get time away from her because I was living In the same house. I tried to say we should stop, but it never really happened. Oh yeah, by this time, she had broken up with her boyfriend. I think she realised that I could give her all the comfort she needed. I was there for her all the time, whenever she felt bad.We were both open about the fact that we were just friends, and that we were not a couple. Therefore we were allowed to meet others or sleep with others if we wanted to. Unfortunately she ended up crying one night when I was flirting with another girl. I remember being quite cold and telling her that if she felt emotionally attatched we had to stop doing this. It didn’t stop tho. Untill one day she brought some guy home and they ended up having sex. I felt so hurt. But I had to keep cool, so I said it wasn’t a problem. This was when I realised that I had these feelings towards her. I really felt that I was in love with her, which came as such a surprise. For some reason I had not realised this until I felt she was slipping away. You know “you don’t know what you got til it’s gone”. I confronted her a while later, telling her that I wanted us to be a couple. She said that she wanted that before, but gave up waiting for me and moved on. This was days before I went home for Christmas and the two weeks at my parents were hell.. and to be honest, every day since has been hell.. after I got back, we would still sleep together, but she eventually got serious with this other guy, and they have now been together for about 5 months. In fact he is staying here right now for a couple months because he has nowhere else to stay.This is increadibly hard for me, as I am still in love with her. A couple of times I have ended up writing her a note when I couldn’t sleep from thinking about her telling her that I still want her back.A couple of weeks ago, I had a long talk with her and we cleared up a lot of things. We had had some pretty difficult times together, because she would ask me how I felt and I would tell her the truth, that I thought about her all the time, and that there was nothing more I wanted than for her to give me another chance. So when we actually had a proper talk together we felt much more comfortable with each other. I actually felt like I was finally over her. The last couple of months I had just been so pissed off with myself for not getting over her, and suddenly it felt like everything was gonna be ok. After her getting together with her new boyfriend, I got a massive dent in both my happiness and confidence. I’m not kidding when I say this has been the worst 5 months of my life. Apart from a couple of dates that didn’t work out, I had not seen any other girls. I couldn’t even think about other girls. Last week tho, I ended up sleeping with this really nice girl. I thought this would be the distraction I needed to completely get over her, even make me realise that maybe she wasn’t that great after all. It completely backfired tho. Even with this hot naked girl having sex with me, I couldn’t stop thinking of Lucy. And all those feelings of happiness and being kinda over her went away, and I now feel like there is no way I’m going to be happy unless I am with her.So basicly, I can’t give up. Even tho it’s been 5 months, I know I am better for her than her current boyfriend, I know I care more about her than him. I would do anything and give up anything for this girl. I really would. The problem is I really don’t know what to do. So I thought I’d ask if anyone has any tips on what I could do to get back with her.. please help me out here..thanks
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I can't live without her
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She's moved on. So should you.
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i agree.. you missed your chance and now she's interested in somebody else.. move on.. you'll feel this way about somebody else
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You can live without her, but you probably shouldn't live with her. That's going to compound any problems with jealousy and detachment that you might have. You obviously see her and her new guy daily, so I can only imagine how hard that must be. You've talked to her but it sounds like you haven't told her all the problems you've had, or maybe you did, but they still haven't been resolved? I'm not sure exactly. If you think it might help to talk to her again I'd say try it. If not, I'd find another place, move out, try to get over her there, which should be infinitely easier.
Sorry i can't give you more than that, but the only thing's that I think will help in this situation are distance and time, OR her suddenly realizing what she had given up on is totally worth it. I have no idea how to do that, but I'm kinda hoping for the same thing myself right now. So, I can only wish you the best.
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Although you know you are better for her than this guy, she does not.This is going to be hard to hear but you are going to have to move on. I know this because I was there once. It took me a long time to forget this person but what I finally came up with is that even though we were a great couple, she could not see that. And I can't make her decisions for her.It will be hard for sure, but eventually day by day the pain gets a little less. Sometimes you wish a bus would just hit you to get it over with but you've just got to ride it out and keep yourself busy. Join classes, play sports, exercise. I fished, personally.Another thing is sex probably won't make you feel better by itself. Get to know someone. The only thing that kills lovesickness is a new love.Also, in case you plan on doing something stupid remember:"When love is in excess it brings a man nor honor nor any worthiness." Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC)
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thanks guys... unfortunately i shoulda realised these were the kind of replies i would get.. everybody pretty much tells me to forget about her.. "there's plenty more fish in the sea" etc. etc.i can't tho.. i thought i could but i mean it's been 5 months and i don't feel any better.. i spoke to her the other day and told her about how i couldn't stop thinking about her when i was with that other girl. This made her quite sad, and i told her i missed her so much, and she told me that she misses me too sometimes.. i think if she could let go, she would feel the same way about me, but she isn't willing to let it happen.. i think maybe she would be more willing to if i wasn't so sad all the time, but unfortunately that's how i am and i can't lie to her... she can pretty much read me like a book anyway.i really wish i could take the advice you give me, but i can't give up. there has to be something i can do.. with girls before her, i was always scared to take a chance because i was scared of rejection, but i can't do that now.. she means too much to me.
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If you really can't give up I guess you just keep bein there for her. Maybe pressure over time will turn your coal into a diamond. You gotta realize this is puttin her in a tough position and could backfire on you though. So, just be careful. Good Luck
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so, say i decide that i cannot just give up and forget about her and move on.. anoyone got any tips on what i could do to help my chances? i mean, it's a pretty akward situation, seeing as her boyfriend is living here for the next three months, so i have to be subtle i guess, i can't like serenade her from the garden (not that i would ever do that) or fill her room with roses or anything grandiouse as he'd probably get suitably pissed off and the next three months would be even more uncomfortable, but what about just being just being really nice to her and things like that?what do you guys think?it's gonna be her birthday soon and i thought maybe i could make sure i get her something that shows that i know her better than her boyfriend or something like that...any tips, help?
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"it's gonna be her birthday soon and i thought maybe i could make sure i get her something that shows that i know her better than her boyfriend or something like that..."That sounds good ... but your reasoning isn't the best I think ... "to shower her that I know her better than her boyfriend" ... how about giving her a gift she really likes because you still care about her? Or you could give her a gift that reminds her of a special moment the two of you had ....
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I hate when 15 years olds think they're going to be with their girlfriend/boyfriend forever.
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Why shouldn't they?Or are you just jealous because they have a girlfriend and you won't ever have one?
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Because they won't, they're just stupid kids. Get a fucking life, I have more of one than you.
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And what are you?
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what is your vendetta
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most teenagers in relationships seem to be the happiest people
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Yeah but it's stupid when a middle schooler thinks they've found their lifelong partner and then they break up 2 weeks later.
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But their feelings at the time are real, even if they lack the wisdom of experience.It can be more attractive, and pleasanter, to be naïve than to be cynical.
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He wouldn't understand taht ...
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its safe to say im much smarter than you are
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Smarter? Most likely (no sarcasm)