Well i guess ill start off by saying im such a stupid ass for not knowing. I guess i really knew in my heart , but maybe didnt really think it could possibly be true.Now i dont know what to do. It went on for close to two years. I got ahold of his cell phone records, and they were calling each other everyday,3 and 4 times a day, and the pattern was pretty clear. Even back when i was staying with my dying mother he was with her, calling her and he must ahve been feeling pretty good when i was suffering ., Which makes me sick. He was never there for me during that time and now i know why.They were meeting up when ever they could.She also has a husband and 2 kids. He wouldnt tell me her name,which pissed me off,, i felt like he was protecting her. Why would he protect her, he should be worried about his kids and me.i called that number over and over and left messages for that bitch.SHe wouldnt answer my calls, so i left a message and told her to never ever ever call my husband again or she will pay and her hsuband will know everything. Well guess what , i got on the online cingular account, and the bitch called him again. So i called her again and she didnt answer,i left a very nasty message, about an hour later her husband calls me. He said she left her phone at home while she went to the store and he heard my message. He was in disbelief and he also had no clue it was going on either. I felt better that he knew. i was going mad of the thought of her getting away with it.Its only been 2 days since ive found out, im sick and i told him to leave, He said he wasnt leaving, if i wanted to leave i could, BUt he did this, its not fair for me to leave and take my kids home away because hes a cheating bastard.He wont lay it all out on the table, hes holding back and its pissing me off,i feel like hes not telling me everything i feel like im still being betrayed, he says he just doesnt want to hurt me anymore. i dont know what to do.I have no job at the moment. I dont know how i would support my kids with what job i could get. EVen if i tried to work this out, im going to be misrible the rest of my life. How can i live with him now? It will never go away, he discusts me. I have no trust ,no respect and i hate him.But weve been together for 13 years and the thought of not being with him hurts. How can i make it work, HE said he is sorry. But to me he doesnt seem sorry enough. I feel like he should be begging me for forgivness and he isnt. He says i wont let him. Thats right, i dont want him hugging on me and i dont want to hear his bullshit, but regaurdless i want him to beg. I want him to suffer like i am,I want him to know how it feels.I want to hurt him badly.Has anyone made it work after an affair? Will it ever work out even if i wanted to? Im just sick. and so heartbroken.I go from fuming anger to unbearable sadness.I know most people dont have any answers for me. Im just curious if it has happen to anyone and if they stayed together and how you got past it.
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Cheating Husband
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Although I have never been in that situation I know someone who has. This may not be what you were looking for, but I hope it can help. The person I am talking about was in a similar situation. Her father had cancer. She would fly out to see him every chance she got. On one of her return trips, she had accidentally gotten his cell, and it rang and some woman called and started asking where Kevin (her husband) was because he was supposed to meet her for a "special" get together. Fumed she asked her if she knew he had a wife and the woman said no. They started talking and she found out this had been going on for months(right about the time her father got diagnosed with cancer) Well things kinda fell apart when she returned. They fought non stop, she threatened to leave and he acted like a jerk about the whole situation. After a period of time things started to cool down he said he was sorry and they ended up staying together. They are still together and seem to be doing fine. The reason your husband may be acting the way he is might be because he has a lot of guilt for what he has done. Sometimes that can make a person act in anger. Just give it time and things may work out. Whatever you choose to do I hope it works out! Good Luck!
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I've obviously never been in that sitaution, but I'd still like to say a few things ...You said that he said he's sorry ... but what about all the months he was cheating on you? Was he sorry then? No. He's only sorry when he gets caught ....If you really want to make things work, I'd just say don't trust him too much for a while ... check the things he says. If he's going here, make sure he does. Yuo get my idea.
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I'm sorry to hear about everything that's been going on sunnysunshine. I can't fully know where you're coming from because I haven't been in the same situation. But hopefully this story about my mom will help.My mother met her first husband about 30 years ago. During their marriage, they were lucky enough to have 3 girls and a boy. One day, my mother went to his work to surprise him for lunch to find him kissing another woman. My mom was devastated. She walked back across the street to her car, not caring about the oncoming traffic, and hoping someone would accidentally hit her. When she got to her car and calmed down a little, she thought of her kids. "What if I got hit by a car, what would happen to the kids?" I remember her saying this to me when she was telling me this story. The first thing she did was file for a divorce. Goes to show how zero tolerance my mom is about cheating. She had no job and she worried about losing the kids.I get a little hazy on this part of the story, but from what I understand is my mom and her good friend agreed to get married so she could keep her kids. Well, after some time my mom started to fall in love with her friend and he was already in love with her. (perhaps that's the reason why he agreed to help with supporting four kids). They've been together now for 20 years, and even had a son in their 2nd year of marriage. That son is me.You can draw your own conclusions from the story, but I felt that it would help you have more hope toward 'the other option'.
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I'm so sorry. I think this is the sort of situation where a counsellor with the right experience could help.
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Well.i have been thinking and i think im wanting to file for divorce or legal separation. We talked some,and he isnt very sorry. Hes trying to say things to me to make me feel responsible. He says i do nothing for him and hes tired of that. That he wants it work out but im going to have to try harder.. All of this stems from some moldy bread found in the cabinet. I have done everything for this man. Im not perfect but we live in a clean house and he is fed. But because i dont get around to throwing out some bread or cerael then im not holding up my end of the deal.This shouldnt be the issue right now, and it shows me he really isnt sorry if hes thinking of stupid crap like that. He said he was sad at first when i left that first night and then he went to look in the cabniet and found bad bread and then he was not so sad anymore... whatever. He called me today and i didnt answer his call and he has the nerve to get mad at me.. fuck him....I feel like im done with him.
This is going to be the hardest thing ive ever done. I dont know where ill end up or what im going to do, but i feel like i will never be happy again with him.