You ever fuck your matress? | AfraidToAsk Forums

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GUNITLOL

You ever fuck your matress?

omg i just tried this and its the best orgasm ever its definately the best lover ive ever had. you ever try this?
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InfamousJarl

Well there is a Baggie/Matress method, but with all of your other bullshit threads..I doubt were talking about the same thing.
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anondude

explain this a bit more... how do you do it?
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horny_dude

i used to do it when i was about 10 or 11 .... but when i orgasmed once i stopped doing it coz i didnt know wot the fcuk happened ... lol ... really stupid i know!
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Vice

I wore out a mattress doing this. It got old after a while though.Mattress started to resemble a loose pussy.
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JoeXpolloi

are you kidding me that fucking hurts its like humping a brick wall its retarded.
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Vice

Not if it's a Serta mattress.
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Vice

That is unheard of, at least to me.

Hmm.
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Africa

i tried the vaseline baggie. I just wasn't coming and it was hard to tell if i was getting anywhere. My cock came out sometimes. I got scared.
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InfamousJarl

I do it well..orgasms are quite extreme, and different, but take too much preparation..for casual sexual release..I just say forget it..
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Cartman82

How in the fucking hell do you fuck a damn matress. Please fucking tell me.Fucking stupid!Eh!
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winged

In reply to:

How in the fucking hell do you fuck a damn matress. Please fucking tell me.

Easy. There are a couple ways:

1. Plastic bag with vaseline or some other type of lube put between the matress and the box spring (or bed frame).

2. Just plain humping the matress (works well with pillows too).

3. Cutting a hole into the matress and inserting yourself.
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Tarlach

Is romancing the mattress first a requisite or just polite?
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winged

All you need is cheap liquor, Tarlach. Mattresses tend to be boozehounds. Don't feel you have to call it the next day.
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Tarlach

Do I have to lie afterward? Like, "You're a real special mattress. We should do this again sometime" or can I just sneak out in the morning and hope I never run into it in a Simmons store?
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winged

Naah. Just sneak out. Pray it doesn't squeak and wake up.
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Tarlach

Those mattresses can be so high maintenance.
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