Do you guys find it easy to be affectionate with your girl/guy? I've never really been in a relationship where I was ever very affectionate and I regret that. I never learned how to be that affectionate with other people because growing up I tried not to get too close to people, whenever I did, I would lose them some way or another. However, I think that I need to be able to show more affection in order to keep my girlfriend more interested in me (kind of making reference to a previous post). I never spoke to her about it. I love it when she is affectionate with me, and I think that since I am not as affectionate, she feels as though affection is a turn-off for me. I could go on like this. But I guess what I'm really trying to ask is.. How often do you guys show affection to your significant other? and, How do you show them affection? Like I said, it's hard for me to express myself with affection and I guess I need some tips.
I'm also really closed off when it comes to affection. Mine is because of a misconception I had as a child regarding sex. But I think a good way is to just push yourself a little bit each time and make yourself show affection. An arm around the shoulder, an extra hug, a nice compliment, etc. Also, there have been books written about the five (or is it seven?) languages of love. Most people receive love in one way (verbal, physical, gift giving, etc.) and show love in another (acts of service, and one other I can't remember) But check it out, it's some good info.
LIFE'S GOOD, SO KEEP ON SUCKIN'...MEOW!
Sucki makes some excellent points. In particular, she hit the nail on the head by saying there are different ways that people show and recieve affection. People like and need different things. I would start with compliments and little affectionate touches, but ultimately you need to figure out what really makes her feel loved. It might be these little touches; it might be cooking her dinner (or doing something else thoughtful); it might be any number of things.
Anyway, I don't want to make it sound more difficult than it is. I'm sure that if you really put forth an effort, she'll appreciate it even if you're struggling to figure out what she needs or loves the most.
it's hard for me to give phyiscal efection. like kissing or hugging. I can do it but i never start it. it don't matter if it's my mom, dad. brother or sister or my gf. i can't go up and hug them. I can't go and kiss my gf. even when i really want to i just think i really want to kiss her. but i don't act on it. but when i get a hug from them i can hug back. when my gf hugs me, kisses me or even goes to hold my hand i kiss back hug back. and i have stopped hidding our hands when we hold hands but i can't do it 1st. i can show my feeling in other ways. like poem or i do something creative for her. Like every one at christmas got a painting, my mom got a painting with a poem on it. and all i framed it for her.
for laces when i giver her something....that reminds me easter..... i need to go get her a bunny rabbit lol but getting back to the affection thing, like when i get her her easter bunny. it has to be perfect. the color she likes, something about it that says Laces will love this stuffed rabit....maybe a necklace or something around it's neck for a surprise. i do that kind of thing to show i care and stuff.
Some people are very physical with their affection. I have no problem with hugging or kissing my g/f in public or in private. When we are together, it does not matter if there is one, several or a million people around us, we are focused to each other. I do not want to sound like we will drop on the floor and start doing it, but huggs & kisses are never in short supply.