i dont know if u know what im tlking about but they gave me this 15 minute test where it u click when it says and shows 1 and dont click when it says or shows 2. well i got the results and i scored 35 which is supposedly pretty bad ADHD the psychiatrist said and he said he could tell im hyperactive/impulsive because i sometimes clicked the mouse b4 it even did the 1.but the thing is, they gave me that test after this one personality test that took me seriously like 4 HOURS TO COMPLETE! And man i couldnt sit thru that test either i took many breaks and heh o ya she gave me this paper clip thing and it was fun tho becuz i would make funny shapes out of it when i was bored. well basically what im saying is, even if the test werent accurate i show practically all the signs of ADHD.but my mom is not so sure. she has doubts and wonders if the testing is not very accurate. ahaha weird i jsut got distracted and went away for a half hour and forgot about this post no joke! but anyways let me tell you my story and why my mom has doubts.well i was in elementary school, and i was a good student! they said ADHD is supposed to be present b4 age 7. i got all As and they even talked about me that i should skip a couple grades cuz i was too advanced for my grade. even tho i was smart im not sure why, it seemed to kinda come natural to me but i was still a weird kid tho. i was definetely unlike the other kids. i mean i dont think i even payed a great deal of attention in elemntary but i would still get good grades. i brought comics to school and i would read them in class and the teacher would tell me to pay attention. i would also have random weird outbursts in class occasionally which i think is adhd status.so i mean i think maybe cuz i was so smart maybe they didnt think i would have ADHD? but i HATED school tho i dont rmemeber why but it was like torture for me. i think my mom noticed this cuz i would always go to school with my head down like i think kids do that when theyre depressed and i would walk to school with my head down so my mom suggested i do homeschooling and i didnt understand what it was first but when she explained i said that would be fine. so for most of elementary i was homeschooled.and maybe cuz i was homeschooled ADHD wouldnt get noticed? the psychiatrist said ADHD is usually more noticable in a group setting. i went back to school in 4th grade cuz homeschool got boring. i didnt like school but i also didnt like not having freinds i guess. yet even when i went to 4th grade i didnt seem to be very interested in friends. like i didnt have any good friends. but rather like everyday at school i would randomly hang out somewhere new, not necessarily with the same people like most peopel do. like even if i didnt really know the poeple i would just hang out with them anyways. o and in 2nd grade i was kinda like that i tihnk. well really i wouldnt hang out with anyone at all! somehow i jsut didnt care to have any friends, occasionally i would randomly hang out with my bro and his friends at school and i was really weird and pretty durned hyper too when i hung out with them. i like never had any real friendships but rather i think i saw people more like toys i could interact with and a lot of times i just didnt feel like playing with those toys.anyways back to 4th grade i dont think i necessarily hated 4th grade as much as i hated school like in 1st and second grade. but my mom pulled me out of it halfway thru, i didnt know why but i didnt mind. but now i think i figured out cuz my mom had a um meeting with the teacher and well i rmemeber writing all these things on my assignments liek instead of puttign a dot on a lower cased i, some people would put a heart for it u know? well i would right "die" right above the i where the dot should be. and i think they took that as a sign that i wasnt very happy, i probably wasnt i dont really rmember tho. so i was homeschooled 5th and sixth btu it was so boring! and ya i could never stick to doing my work in homeschool, like it was so much of a hassle for me, i almsot preferred being in schoolm cuz in school, even at a young age, i realized i could practically put any answer in the papers and as long as i did that i would get good grades, well homeschool u couldnt really do that so i would like seriously spend 5-10 minutes working on an assignment and i would have to take a half hour break b4 i worked on it some more. man eveyrday was so stessful cuz i would look forward to the weekends when i didnt have to worry about doign all that work. so anyways i told my mom homeschool was to boring so i went back to school in 7th grade.in 7th grade i did good! i mean her was like no way to detect that i may have ADHD in 7th grade and even to this day i dont know how i managed it so well. i mean im a competitive person and i got all As throguhout elementary so i figured wh ystop now, so i set out to get a 4.0 in 7th grade. it was amazing how much more homework there was in 7th, i hated having to do school work after school was done so i figured out a good strategy. if i got homework in a class, instead of doing it at home i would do it in class that way i had freedom after school, ya i didnt have any friends in seventh grade either so its not like anyone would bug me during class. so i could stick to doing work in class and like that youd think i wouldnt know what was going on in class, which i didnt, but i didnt have to bcause i jsut filled in any anser so i didnt even have to pay attention in class as long as i did my work and i got all As! tho i did feel pretty stressed doing stuff like this, and i did act up at times in class cuz it was hard to handle all that work. and it was also quite an awkward tiem in my life so i think with all that stress combined with pooberty i beat the crud out of someone and got kicked out of seventh grade when it was close to halfway thru.so it was back to homeschool for another half year, homeschool was the same thing, i would always have to take half hour breaks blah blah then i did half a year in hoeschool for 8th grade but it was so boring i told my momma i wanna go back. so in 8th grad i was completely different! like in 7th grade i was a nerd but then in 8th grade i went thru the awkward phase of pooberty and everyone wanted to be my friend! it was insane how friendly people were to me! i dont know if it was shallowness or what but i didnt care cuz people were jerks to me in 7th but in 8th they were so nice! but i was so shy in 8th since i was such not very scoial for being homeschooled most my life and i didnt know how to behave. but anyways, trying to get all As was jsut wya too much for me to attempt again. I screwed around most of the tiem in class, i didnt really know what was going on, and i spent most of my tiem trying to figure out how to behave socially. in 9th grade i was more comfortable with myself socially, and ya in 9th grade i think becuz i was more confident socially i acted up even more before. i cant rmemeber everytihng but i jsut know i did some pretty crazy stunts in 9th. i made it a goal to stick thru the whole year of school sicne i had never really doen that. i somehow managed!!! tho i barely ever went to school. like i would only go 3 days a week cuz it was so hard for me.then in 10th grade, even tho i knew how to behave socially, I DIDNT CARE! i didnt care what people thoguht of me anymroe, i didnt care if i behaved how peopel are supposed to behave socially. and u know what, i was sooooo much happier not caring! this year i went absolutely crazy tho. like practically everyday at lunchm (well everyday i went to school i still only went about 3 days a week), i would take off my shirt and run around, and i would do back flips for people. man i would do practically anythign for attention. i even ran in the center of a rally they had and started doing showing off random talents of mine when i wasnt supposed to. o ya and this year they put me in like a special ed class becuz i ditched so much last year, i wasnt stupid they jsut said it would be easier for me so i wouldnt have to be stressed about keeping up with homework and stuff. man that class was awesome tho! i could get away with a lot more in that class, i found it as a good outlet, cuz osme of my classes were so strict and i couldnt act up at al lor i would get detnetion so i unleashed all my hyperness in this class and soem other lenient ones too like pe and drama. i would do handstands in class, play hacky sack and i would chuck pencils in the cieling and i would doodle funny pictures on the chalkboard ahahah. o man! cuz my teacher had a crush on this football player david carr i think and i would draw a picture of him naked and his weiner would be like 50 inches long and it would go in twists and turns all over the chalk board but the teacher thought it was funny tho. and o ya! i pooped in this classrooms tv cabinet. ahahah i got kicked out of school for that so then i went to a secondary school called gateway.while at gateway i had realized that it would be unrealistic for me to finish off school, tho i may be crazy enough to poop in a cabinet while at school, i still had strong morals. so i was not the kind that would turn to drugs to try to heal my problems or alcohol or whatever but i jsut knew that i would probably end up doing something crazy like running around school butt naked and then get sent to jail. i mean i wasnt a bad kid exactly but i jsut knew i wouldnt be able to put up with school for another 2 years so i made a plan. cuz ya i was crazy in gateay too. we had these tiled ceilings and when the teacher wasnt looking i popped a tile up and clomb up there and hung out there all period. o man i have no regrets abotu that tho it was soooo fun! i mean it was liek i was at school but i wasnt at school at the same time! and i got away with it too unti lthe very end of class cuz i had to leave and when i snuck out he saw then i ran out of class. they never replaced the ceiling tile so another day i had a bag with me and i went to the bathroom and i doodied in it and then i through it up on top of the ceiling ahaha i promise i dont have a fetish for fecies but u gotta admit it is a funny thing to mess around with. um o ya anyways my plan was to take a proficiency test so i could get out of school early so i took thaT ANd i passed! see im not stupid!so that half year at gateway was my last and im glad. but now in the workplace i have trouble. the jobs ive had were mostly extremely lenient so i screwed around a whole lot and that was really the only way i was able to survive at those jobs. and i had another job like a year ago and i only lasted there 6 months and i was only workign there 2 days a week but it was jsut too hard for me. which is weird becuz i was raised a religious person, and i am a very grateful person. i am defientely not the kind that says "Hey mom i said i wanted eggs for dinner, this is chicken." u know what im saying cuz like in africa they dont even have chicken or eggs, so i am extremely grateful for what i have and i rarely ever complain and my life is awesome compared to like 99% of other people, at least in my opinion it is. my point is, like work was so boring for me i would spend most of the time in my mind while i was adhering to the chores they gave me and i spent most of my day thinking, "Why do u hate this so much Jamie? there are people that are severely beaten everyday, this is not even comparable to being beaten. this job is better than a lot of other jobs. imagine being a construction worker that would be much harder than this job." and i was grateful that i had a job and i kept trying to tell myself it is way better than most peoples jobs/situations but somehow i just couldnt put up with it. and everyday i went to work i dreaded it and i always felt like they were ready to fire me, and i always dreaded gettign talked to. i didnt like thinking that they may talk to me and tell me that im not wokrign hard enoguh or whatever.so i have a hard time with jobs and i got a sumemr job but they r barely using me, like once every 2 weeks thyell call me and i wodner if its cuz i screw around at work to much or im not a good worker.well thats basically my story, and ya thye give me a 4 hour test right b4 that 15 minute test and i wonder if that made me do worse for the 15 minute test. i mean i can be normal when im jsut at home oding nothing. but when im out with friends sometiems i get these hyper spurts where its like im almsot uncontrollable and everyone in the restaurant or whereever is looking at me cuz im pretty much impossible to notice. i get so loud and hyper and i do the msot random things. but ya i think my mom has doubts cuz hwen im jsut at home i seem pretty normal. i still fidgit when i talk to her, but when im on the computer im actually able to sit still. like during the last 3/4 of this thingy im writing right now ive sat thru it all! so i guess she has some reasons to doubt the test results and doubt that i have ADHD.but i dont know. um i wrote a lot what do u think?