Ok this girl ive been talking to (i told her I liked her) hasnt been talking to me much. The summer is almost done and I feel like if we go back to school and dont get together a couple of times we wont have the time or interest and im afraid i might lose her. We were making progress were both shy and i was really trying to be assertive but not too clingy. Things have totally cooled down and it seems like were both waiting for the other person to set things back on track. I feel like ive pulledm my weight enough and I would really like her to make some sort of attempt now and im pretty sure shes old school and thinks the guy should do all of the work. What can I do im really done in the dumps over this my summer hasnt panned out at all and Im so frustrated. I dont want to seem to desperate but should I say something like "oh you cant say hi anymore" or something?
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How to get things going again?
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Just be like hey whats up havent talked to you in a while.... and go from there. Find out if she still has feelings for you.
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Take a deep breath and relax. Count slowly down from 10 to 1 and realize how comfortable you feel. Now what I would do if I was you is think of a day, maybe a week from now, sometime you're free. Rent a few movies, a couple horror and a couple romance, I'm personally a fan of Don Juan Demarco. Then when it's all planned, call her and invite her to your house to hang out. Smile while you're on the phone, and be friendly but to the point. Invite her at maybe 6-10 pm and have dinner and watch some movies, maybe have a small drink if you're of proper age. After what ever movie you choose is done and it's getting a little dark, go for a walk, maybe to a park and just tell her how you feel about her. If all goes well she'll have one of the best summers ever. =)
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^ I defintely like that Idea I need to make her summer rock somehow and that sounds like a plan especially the park thing. Were both busy now but I will hopefully be able to do something like that soon! Thanks
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Glad to be of help! ^^
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UPDATE: Now after reading this and doing some serious thinking I realized the following things.1. This is too good of an oppurtunity to pass up2. I really like this girl3. She is Shy about dating 4. We're both busy and will be through-out the year Those are basically the "facts" the things in question are:1. Does she still have feelings for me or has she ever (she hasnt gone right out and said it but theres been signs)2. How do I find a balance between pursuing her and totally wasting my time? (worrying agonizing staying up etc.) 3. How can i get her to open up to me without flat out saying something like "Do you like me?" like we are in elementary school or something.4. Is she "oldschool" or trying to let me down easy? Ok I can tell that her family is sort of strict, which is good i wouldnt want my pretty daughter to be a town tramp either but the thing is she doesnt call me and if i want to talk to her most of the time I have to put the effort in. Now she seems generally happy to hear from me and all of our talks on the phone have been between 3 1/2-4 hours (save the last 2 because of it being a bad time for both of us to really go at it) But 4 hours is alot of time to waste on someone you dont like as more than a friend IMO especially if its more than once. But im concerned tha im pulling 75% of the weight here as far as communication.Im going to be playing football this fall and i think shes not cheerleading and is gonna do track so The days are numbered this summer I need to find out whats going on and make a decision on whether i wanna attempt to move forward or say the hell with it! Thanks I know its a long read but i really am afraid to ask anyone for dating tips!
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Paul, "faint heart ne'er won fair lady". It's time to stop analysing and go and collect data. Go and ask her out.
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I can analyze things to death, and I can tell you that Ineligible is right. Procrastination usually reduces your chances...gotta be bold.(By the way, Paul Pierce (#34) is the star player of the Boston Celtics pro basketball team.)
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I second that, if you keep waiting forever you'll lose your chances at anything. (and as a shy girl when it comes to showing those types of feelings, i love it when the guy is bold)
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Well I kinda did. I called up and said I liked her and what did she think of me. Basically in her own roundabout way she said we were close but she didnt know me well enough (seeing that we've only known eachother from school for about a year) to "date" Again this could be a nice way of letting me down or she really does want to get 2gether and now feels shes been "bold" and wants me to step up my end. Its not that Im afriad to ask her out or anything if shes basically saying take a hint i'd like to know thats all..
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The only way to know is to come out and explicitly ask. Beating around the bush (i.e., procrastination) can put off the pain of rejection, but the pain will come eventually anyway, and you will have wasted a lot of time and energy, when you could move on to another person or another activity.
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We;re in limbo she didnt reject me and didnt say she'd like to date me.. I already did that
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I'm not sure what I'm missing here. You ask her, "Would you like go go out on a date?". If she answers anything but "yes", she means "no", and it's time to focus your romantic interests elsewhere. It doesn't mean that you can't talk to her or be her friend.
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OK im more concerned with if shes Shy or trying to let me down easy. She knows I like(d) her and i know she like(d) me atleast somewhat. that was about a month ago and now the talks have cooled quite a bit so im trying to figure out if she gets nervous or what caused this change..
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Don't "figure", Paul, ask.
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How can I ask her if I make her shy or if dating makes her shy and expect that too make things any easier? It either doesnt and she doesnt like me and will think im weird or it does and she'll be even more uncomfortable! Ahh i wish there was a clear cut solution to this..
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I think people who are shy are usually reasonably happy to be asked if they are shy. But in any case what you want is the answer to your question. If you always worry about how people will react to your questions you'll never ask any and you won't find many answers. You are permitted to break eggs to make an omelette.
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Excuse me while I nail my head to the table.> How can I ask her if I make her shy or if dating makes her shy...You need to ask her if she'll go out with you, and take her answer at face value. No more analysis.> Ahh i wish there was a clear cut solution to this..I just gave you the clear cut solution. Frankly, it sounds like this girl is not ready to date, or she's not ready to or does not want to date you. How many years to you plan to put your life on hold while you're waiting to find out? As I said, if the answer is not "yes", and you are interested in this girl then you can be friends. But understand well that if you stay friends with her and remain emotionally attached, you are screwed. If the answer is not "yes", you need to emotionally move on. You can only carry the torch so far.
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Ok OK OK im sorry to seem difficult so just ask her to get together sometime and forget about thinking about other stuff ok will do.... erm1. if she's "busy" how do i kno if she really is or is putting me off?2. Im a newbie when it comes to dating I guess these are probably basic questions.3. she has said that she would like/is willing to do spend some time together.
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I had a best friend jason that i loved more hten anything in the world, and he liked me and i liked him, how ever I never asked him out and nothing came of it. If there was one redo id do in my life would be to ask him out. I know that i missed out on the love of my life and im reminded of that every damn day and nothing can explain how much that hurts. So if you want to go one and not do anything thats fine with me, but if you dont atleast TRY not figure then you will regret it.