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  • bobalicious

    Is it too late even for a belated Happy Birthday?

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  • bobalicious

    Well it's 7 months later (to the day) and, as expected, all is much better. Have occasionally talked to the ex but just the usual light conversation. In a new relationship now, working out quite well. It seems to be moving fast but I'm keeping an eye on it, I don't want to rush into anything.Just updating to close off the problem and also to show anyone who might read this some time in the future, even horrible break-ups like mine fade away into the past eventually.

    posted in Relationships read more
  • bobalicious

    What do girls want in a guy? Do they want the big strong hulk of a man or the quiet sensitive guy? The truth is, it depends on the person, and the same goes for guys.
    The best idea is to not advertise yourself as slutty just because you think that's what guys want, because that will only attract guys that want slutty girls. Put yourself out there as who you really are and it will attract the attention of someone who wants to be with you. And don't make the mistake of sitting idly by waiting for someone to notice you either, if there is someone that you like then you should try to approach them.
    Everyone notices physical traits first, its inevitable as we often see people before we hear them, but they're not going to know who you are unless you get talking to them.
    And most guys that show interest in you will want to get into your pants. This does not make them bad people, it just makes them guys. Just remember that no matter what, you have full control of your body and cannot be forced to do anything that you don't want to. Believe me, guys will do anything up to and including begging to have sex, they may even try to use what they consider logical arguments in an effort to convince you that its the right thing to do, but it's a two way street. Never do anything that you really do not want to do.

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  • bobalicious

    I'm moving out. Arranged it with my parents, moving back home next weekend. And on my birthday, how depressing. Haven't told my parents why, just told them that I can't afford to live here any more, which is also true. I've been trying my best to be nice, to be friendly. I don't want to leave on bad ground. I've been holding my temper when it flares up. Recently its just been the two of us in the house and we've been getting on really well, but from the moment someone else arrives, its like she wishes I was gone already, despite her saying the opposite. Leaving has to be a good thing, because staying is going to rip me apart.I'm trying to kick up my social life again, to see me friends more. Worked for a moment or two last week when I went to a friends party. But half way through the night, one of them figured out what had happened and told everyone else, and suddenly a fun night had turned into a pity party for Bob, with lots of "It gets better" and "I'm here for ya" and "How are ya doing?" It got to the point where I just had to leave because I didn't want to be pitied, I want my friends to act as if everything is normal. Everything else in my life has just been gutted, I really just wanted that aspect of it to be the same...I know, I know, it gets better. Its the objective truth and its a shining beacon in the distance, but for now I am in a pit of misery. I don't want people to try cheer me up, my instinct is to rant about it to anyone that will listen but I know that won't help because it won't change anything. What's happened has happened and I just want to be over it as quickly as possible.

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  • bobalicious

    Thanks for the reply Ready.The drinking habit has subsided somewhat, partly because I sadly can't really afford it right now and also because my boss had a little heart-to-heart with me about my recent behaviour. I'm trying to settle down a bit and not ignore things.So its almost 2 months later and things haven't really changed. Still living in a tiny box of a room in this house, right next to her room (our old room). Drives me a little mad because she often has a certain male friend of hers stay in her bed whenever he's around. I know, I know, you're thinking WTF! It does drive me mad, their friendship is ridiculously ambiguous. They could be together or they could be just friends, neither of which really matters because if you remove sex from the equation (something that disappeared from our relationship a long time ago) he has completely taken over my role in her life.Things have actually changed, I've gotten angrier. Anger was something that was never really a part of my life but now, its almost all I feel. Apart from my bi-weekly rant at her for making me feel like crap while acting as if it all means nothing to her (it does, apparently), my knuckles are bruised and aching from hitting every surface I can find. Punched the door of my wardrobe cleanly off its hinges the other day. But I think I've resolved that by lifting up my mattress and leaning it against a wall. It doesn't hurt nearly as much.Wow, I really am a mess. I've never gone through something like this, especially in a relationship that went on for so long. I'm really stuck as to how to deal with this without going nuts.

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  • bobalicious

    Hey guys, sorry for not visiting more often. This place is not something I've forgotten about, it was such a huge part of my life for so long, I just haven't been able to talk about things for a good while.I just finished a relationship of 5 years and I'm feeling lonely. I was dumped, to put it plainly. Her thought process was that we're on a break (yes, I made the obligatory Friends joke at the time) but really, when someone says that they don't want to be with anyone right now, thats not a break, thats a break up with the expectation that your partner will wait idly by while you figure your shit out. If you are confused by any of my quick shifts in topic and erratic tonal shifts, it will be due to my new found love of the numbing effect of alcohol and psychotropic drugs.2011/2012: I moved in with my girlfriend in September as she started her final year of college. Throughout the year she developed a very strong friendship with some people from her class and they are still very close. One of them moved in with us this week*. (*Broke up 3 weeks ago, still living together but now in separate rooms. New house mate was planned several months ago and she is a very nice person.) As she got closer to her friends and was hanging out with them more often, I got pushed onto the back burner. I received little to no attention unless something was required of me (lifts, drink, cleaning, etc.). Otherwise I was to mind my own business. Not exactly in those words but words to that effect.I started getting angry, lashing out unnecessarily and getting pissy for no reason that she could understand. Culminated when I forced the conversation about where our relationship was and this resulted in the break up. I feel stuck in this house, partly because its the only place I can afford and I love living away from my parents, and also because I don't think I can face the embarrassment and shame of moving home and therefore admitting that I failed, that I'm unloved. Everybody always talks about the pain of losing someone that they care about but nobody ever seems to talk about the horrible feeling that comes from realisation that someone that you love has slowly cared less and less about you over time without you ever realising it. Its horrible, knowing that something about you has pushed this person away.I'm waffling now. As I said, my new best friend is a cool glass of blindingly strong liquid. Just feeling very low right now.

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  • bobalicious

    Simply doing what I know. Son of a photographer, so working in a camera shop. Its good because I'm good at what I do, but at the same time its sickening when you see people spending thousands on stuff that you know they do not need nor have the capacity to use. Yet when you try to explain this to them (maybe not the capacity to use part) they insist that they know better. So I try to save them money, probably not the best idea when working in sales, and explain that what they want to do can be done using a €600 camera, they still insist that they need, they NEED, a €2000 camera.

    It's so frustrating, especially when living in a country that was one of the worst effected by the recession, to see people who don't seem capable of learning from previous mistakes.

    But anyway, how are you?

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  • bobalicious

    Sadly not, now I am a starving minimum wage earner.

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  • bobalicious

    Originally Posted By: readytogoYea!! Bob returns.What's been happening? I'm poor, oh so very poor! But surviving.

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