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    hugh_jorgen

    no, she doesn't spend nearly as much time with him, but she makes more effort to go see him than she does to see me, that's what gets me. As in, she will drive to see him, but won't drive to see me (today was the first time she has driven to my house). I see her more, but I have to make the effort to get there and to schedule it. She is just friends with him, he is really the only other friend she has, so im not worried about that. If she was cheating on me, she wouldn't be with me, I know that for sure.

    posted in Relationships read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    Ok, here is the deal... my girlfriend is really fucking with my head and I am totally confused. I don't think she is doing it on purpose, it just seems to work out that way. Why I am confused about this is I don't know if it's just me overanalyzing shit and overreacting.

    We have been together for about 9 and a half months now. We seem to be doing well, but I can't tell if she is getting tired of me, or if it's just in my head. Lately she has been talking and hanging out with her ex boyfriend, as friends. I trust her enough, but it still pisses me off a bit, and understandably so if you ask me. It seems to me that she puts more effort into seeing him than she does into seeing me. Not that she sees him more, not even close... but if I don't make the effort to ask to hang out, and to get to her house, I don't know if I would ever see her. She drove to myh house today (about 45 minute drive) which surprised me because she doesn't like driving. I haven't really seen her much at all this week, a few hours tuesday, but that was it. Thursday she hung with her ex... today, she hung with me for only like 4 hours, then acted like she had to get him... on the way home she 'randomly' decided to go to his house and stayed there for like 5 hours. Naturally I was really upset about this because it made me feel like 1) she bailed on me to hang with him 2) she enjoys hanging with him more because she spent more time with him than me 3) she would never just randomly show up at my house, why his? To add to this, she would never consider coming to my house after work during the week, but she has gone to his house after work multiple times...

    Am I just looking to far into this? Yes, I am the jealous type, but I don't worry too much about her hanging with him, just more the fact that she puts more effort into other people than with me. When we ARE together, she is amazing, always cuddling up with me, but when we aren't together I just feel like im just some other dude.

    When she got home tonite I was ready to just go off about this, I had everything planned out what I was going to say... but I decided that doing that would accomplish nothing but make me look like a jealous ass and probably just piss her off so I told her "I have this whole rant that has been building all day, but it would do nothing to help... so I am just going to drop it" and then asked if she had fun... was that the right thing to do or did I puss out? We are hanging out tomorrow, which is weird, 2 days in a row... I usually only see her every 3 or so days... Goddamn I am so confused. I love her and don't want to lose her, I really can't think of life without her, but at the same time, I feel it would be easier to just end it... but I don't what I would do without her. Why must love be such a bitch?

    posted in Relationships read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    I was gonna wait until tuesday when I got the results of the bone marrow test. But I guess I can tell you what the doctor THINKS it is now. He thinks it's MDS (myelodysplastic syndrome) which is pre-leukemia. If this is what it is, then I will need a bone marrow transplant... which will really really suck. MDS is mainly found in people over 60 or something... im only 21, so that sucks as well. I will update as I find out more.

    posted in Cancer read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    Hello... I jsut found out today that it is very very possible that I have leukemia... I am going into the hospital tomorrow to get a bone marrow sample or something, and I guess this will tell for sure if I have it or not. The doctor took some blood today and looked at it through a microscope, and I guess he saw a "blast" in the blood, which shouldn't ever been in blood, but only in the marrow. This is extremely hard for me to grasp, even as im writing this I don't belief it... The worst thing that has ever happened to me before this was a broken arm, I have never been in a hospital except to see other people, but now I might be spending a lot of time there. The doc said he thinks it is still early, as in, they caught it early, which is a good thing, and should be easier to treat, but they still won't know anything until after the test results come in (5 to 7 days). Anyone else here with leukemia? Right now im alone, none of my friends or family has ever experience this... I am getting great support from them, my parents are even flying home after literally JUST landing in michigan (im in arizona). My girlfriend is coming to the hospital tomorrow also (if you read in the sexuality forums ever, I have posted there about us) which makes me feel really good. Anyways... I just felt like getting it out of my system that this is going on, even though I haven't fulling grasped the idea myself.

    posted in Cancer read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    Im not trying to be rude by any means... but why would you want to piss on yourself or have someone else piss on you? Just a question, I know fetishes are called fetishes for a reason, but im still curious.

    posted in Sexuality read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    Well, I guess I am going to have to just beat off more often... It's ok I guess, just really sucks that I can't be intimate with the girl I love. She told me "if my prudeness gets to be too much for you, let me know, maybe im not the right girl for your" which tells me that she isn't willing to sacrific anything but our relationship, which hurts... But her health is more important than me getting a handjob I guess. I guess I will just have to see how things play out. We have a weekend getaway planned for November, just me and her... it's going to be really hard being alone with her for 3 days and 2 nights and not fooling around at all :frowning: but oh well, thanks for the help everyone.

    posted in Sexuality read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    She has social anxiety disorder... There are other factors now that im worried about... Ok, we talk on AIM, that's how we communicate, because she doesn't like phones for some reason. Yes, I know her in real life. Anyways, we will be chatting, then all of a sudden she just leaves her computer... without saying dick. We talked about this, and I was hoping everything would get better, but she still keeps doing it. The other day we were supposed to hang out, but she went out with her mom instead, which is cool and all, except she didn't mention anything to me, so I was left home alone, not knowing what was going on. Then this whole "im not feeling sexual" thing has started, and she isn't positive it's only from the meds... is she losing interest in me in general? She says she likes to hang out and hold me and stuff, but I know a lot of people who do that as "friends", and my feelings are way beyond just being friends now.

    posted in Sexuality read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    Ok, just recently, me and my girlfriend have been becoming less and less sexual. We hang out a lot, and cuddle and kiss, and all that good stuff, but when it comes to actually fooling around, she kicks me out. I asked her today why she keeps kicking me out so early lately, and she said "because I haven't been feeling sexual or whatever, and I know whenever we go to my room that's what we do, and I guess I just don't want to". I am ok with this, other than the fact that she doesn't mind teasing, like rubbing my dick through my pants and what not, but she won't go further anymore. We talked about it, and I asked if it was me, or if the meds that she is taking was doing it, and she said maybe a mixture of both :frowning:... how am I supposed to take that.

    Ok, well, she said she knows it's not JUST me, because she hasn't masturbated in about a month, so nothing is really turning her on. So, I asked about her meds, she is taking Zoloft right now, an anti depressant, for her anxiety. About a month ago, when her sex drive seemed to drop, she started taking 100mg, 50mg more than what she originally was taking. I read that zoloft can reduce the sex drive, but it was one of the least likely too. Anyone here know anything that could help, or any information? You guys seem to know so much, I figured this would be the best place to start. Thank you.

    posted in Sexuality read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    Awesome, thanks for the info everyone :wink:

    posted in Masturbation read more
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    hugh_jorgen

    Ok, just in case people ask, im 21, male, have been jerking off for many many years, and I usually use astro glide when I masturbate. Ok, now. It seems that lately, when I cum, it is a bit lumpy... not like pancake batter if you don't wisk it enough, but it's weird. Ok, sometimes I just opt to rub the cum into my stomach or legs, instead of using a kleenex or sock (sorry if that's gross), just because im lazy, and this is when I noticed it. The majority of it is regular, but there are little left over... boogers I guess you could say. Is this anything to worry about? Does anyone else know what im talking about? Im not to freaked out about it, it doesn't hurt or nothing when I cum, but it's just something I wanted to look in to.

    posted in Masturbation read more