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  • J
    joisfun13

    A few days ago I looked at my girlfriend's phone while she was asleep beside me, and she happened to get a text from a mutual friend. When I looked at it, I didn't understand it, but proceeded to go through about 200-250 texts in her inbox & outbox, trying to follow the conversation. I realized that our mutual friend, whom we both know is "struggling with" (IS) bi, had been hitting on my girlfriend, who I later found out had kissed her when she stayed the night one night at my girlfriend's house. I then read through another conversation that my gf had with a girl who apparently lives in another state. This girl turned out to be (on bringing up that I'd read through her texts and was shocked) a former girlfriend and current "friend" with whom my girlfriend came into contact by chat room during a hard time in her life, when a bad rumor got spread around school about her. These two were in similar situations and became really close, dating for about six months, and then off and on, while my gf felt that she couldn't trust boys because of the rumor...

    Fast forward to two weeks, when I'm not speaking to the first mutual friend I mentioned and my girlfriend barely texts her back at all. Looking through her texts, the girl from the other state and my gf haven't been talking or texting as much, but a friend from around here, whom I don't know, who is also bi, has been texting her. She is very committed to HER relationship, so I don't have a problem with my girlfriend talking to her, but looking through texts this morning, she was talking about another girl (from around her, younger) whom my girlfriend had texted earlier in the week while we were hanging out. I didn't question it because after our long talk that I mentioned in ( ) earlier ^ up there, I really wanted to trust her and not look through her texts anymore. Well, I noticed a couple more texts from that first mutual friend, about something about calling my gf names like sweetie, so i asked my girlfriend why she didn't go off about that and she said she handled it, so I let it go, but she got mad or felt untrusted that I looked through her texts again... So again, I tried not to.

    Last night: Gf and cousin (female, mutual best friend of me and my gf) spent the night at my (grandma's) house (with me). I slept beside my girlfriend, who was very tired and cranky, to be honest, but we got better an laughed and smiled and kissed a little, and were ok. I woke up, her phone was buzzing from a text, so I tried to look at it to see even who it was (could've been her mom's blackberry asking what she's doing--her parents didn't know I would be at the house she was staying), and realized that she had LOCKED her ENTIRE phone from even dialing anything but 911--a hint to me that she doesn't trust me knowing what she's talking about to her (female) friend..she barely texts any guys. So (sorry I'm all over the place) my gf in that LONG talk ( ) from earlier admitted that she felt that she was bi, but didn't really feel it any more, and felt violated when around that mutual friend, so I thought we were good. So she left her phone unlocked, and she was watching TV in the other room while I showered. My grandma was still home, so I went into my room (naked) and began to get dressed. Her phone was unlocked and I looked through it to find a text conversation with that committed girl I mentioned earlier talking about my girlfriend sneaking out (pretty recently, I'm assuming) to get drunk and make out with that girl who's younger from around here. So with all that she admitted in that long talk, my gf didn't tell me about this--so I'm assuming it has happened since, and she told the girl she was texting that she's "hooked" on girls...

    So I don't want her to feel like I'm creeping into her text conversations, but I feel like I have MORE than a RIGHT to be ANGRY and UPSET and HURT over this...IT'S definitely not the first time! So she can tell that I'm angry, and I did get mad over something stupid earlier, but admitted to my cousin (who told her) that I'm not mad about that anymore. My cousin asked me what's wrong and I said you wouldn't understand, and my gf asked "would i?" and i said... "hmm I think so..", so I'm not sure whether to give her the right or privilege of telling her why I'm mad or asking her about it, or if I should just break up with her...I don't feel ANY trust right now! I feel like if I ask her, she might get mad at HOW i found out, but I want to see if she'll tell me, with the possibility of my not knowing outright...

    If any part of this doesn't make sense, please post and ask, and I will try to clarify--I'm just so hurt right now that I can't exactly think straight, so all my thoughts are EVERYWHERE!

    Thanks for reading through all my drama!

    posted in Relationships read more
  • J
    joisfun13

    This post may be a bit late, but I know exactly what you mean. I was talking with my girlfriend about our both having thoughts about being bi, and about the differences in girls and guys. She says (and I agree) that guys are more physical in their emotions for the same sex, while girls are generally emotionally linked to the same sex.

    Like you, I think it would be amazing to j/o (with, or actually doing it to) a guy, or give him a b/j, or receive, or possibly even kiss, but I could never see actually being in a "relationship" or having EMOTIONAL feelings for a guy... or even being "monogamous" in a same-sex "relationship" or "hook-up." It would just be a one-time or maybe multiple-times things, but not a "relationship."

    posted in Masturbation read more
  • J
    joisfun13

    Yeah, I see what you mean, and I mean I know we love each other and want to get married some day, so I'm not really jealous--just thought it was kinda strange. I'm not sure that the "future husband" thing was really serious either, just something ppl say like omg he's so hot future husband! But idk..

    I seem to be defending her after asking a question lol so I guess I must not be too jealous/upset about it...It's been a few days though lol. Thanks for all your input; it helps to hear from both guys & girls about it, too.

    posted in Relationships read more
  • J
    joisfun13

    Well not really...it's just more of a way she and her friends say oh he's hot, I guess. And the friend she told was my really-close cousin, so... not as drastic as it sounds. It was a one-time thing at summer camp, while I'm at a different summer camp lol. But yes, I see what you're saying.

    @Roc: I see what you mean, too. Because realistically, she does love me and we can talk about anything and everything, and I'm sure she wouldn't be mad if I told her this made me upset, but I wouldn't really want to either. We are really close, but this is just something that struck me as odd, I guess. But would you say it'd be insecure if it were reversed? If I said a girl were hot around her, and she be upset, even if she didn't tell me??

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  • J
    joisfun13

    Lol. I knew I would get that. Yes, I know what you mean...but I Haven't told her that it bothers me because I wasn't sure if it should...I thought there should be a reason, and I would expect her to be upset if I were talking about some girl's being hot around her. It's not like it's all the time. Maybe a few fleeting times...three at most. And one wasn't even around me. But yes, I censor what I think sometimes and I'm sure so does she, just to keep each other happy, but to some extent, you should be able to share your feelings with the other person; if you're always keeping your mouth shut not to piss off somebody, you've got some hell of a relationship.

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  • J
    joisfun13

    I don't generally say another girl is hot around her, just my guy friends or other female friends, maybe, but not her that I can think of.

    I know that everyone will always look or even think/say, and that's why I don't really wanna say anything to her about it, b/c I don't want her NOT to say it just b/c it may upset me, if it's really how she feels. People shouldn't have to censor themselves in relationships.

    And no, the person she called future husband was just some hot guy at a camp to which she and a mutual friend went, and I just happened to see it on their facebooks. So I don't wanna sound creepy/stalkerish/clingy about that, either.

    posted in Relationships read more
  • J
    joisfun13

    Should a guy (I) be mad when a girl (my gf) says a guy is hot (even if I know she doesn't LIKE him...like at all..not just that she doesn't like "like" him, ...she thinks he's immature), but thinks he's hot/would do him??? Also, "future husband," gets on my nerves...should that bother me or am I just being too ... obsessive? And well I guess any hot guy/likes him or not, she will say to her friends (even around me) that he's hot...should that ideally make me upset/mad? I don't let her know that it irks me, bc I wouldn't want her not to say it just to appease me, but still think it...bc that solves nothing.. but should I even be mad about it?

    Sorry for the rant/choppy sentences, I'm just kidna upset about this and typing quickly..

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  • J
    joisfun13

    Thanks for the explanation(s), both you and ashley69. It especially helps to have it broken down, and to have the female point of view. And like ashley, I don't think she would like to watch it if it were in her past. It IS mostly just fantasy, like you both said; anyways, thanks much!

    posted in Masturbation read more
  • J
    joisfun13

    So my gf told me yesterday that she had watched porn [np with that] but that she liked showers, rape [fine w me], and old men doing young girls?

    Sorry but that kinda creeps me out. Any females care to explain? Like how that's hot or turns you on?

    posted in Masturbation read more
  • J
    joisfun13

    Sorry to add to my own post, but if you would, please indicate also whether or not you would think it weird to do so. (Girls, too.)

    Thanks again.

    posted in Masturbation read more