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  • J
    jw99

    Hello,
    Again, not so sure if this goes here, since it isn't exactly related to depression but it is a psychological/psychiatric topic...anyway.
    Tonight I am experiencing symptoms of what I suppose is anxiety that I have had before, but not quite like this in a long time. These past few months I have been experiencing anxiety attacks to varying degrees, and have also noticed an increase in hypervigilance when in public or alone at night. This isn't much of a surprise to me, however, since I've always been a bit neurotic (diagnosed OCD as well) and have been busy with multiple commitments that are normally stressful on their own.
    Tonight, I have been thinking about my tendency to overspeak and make things awkward, along with a prank I pulled recently at my job that I am very worried may have been inappropriate. When I think of the last one, I feel extreme discomfort that is difficult to locate (at least is in my chest), and difficult to describe, but seems similar to RLS. It feels like a more minor form of something I felt once during a breakup, which at the time was physically painful. I don't want to reach that point, but in the meantime am curious- what physically causes these symptoms? Am I the only one? And what can be done? Deep breathing seems to help, but only goes so far.
    Thanks!
    jw

    posted in Miscellaneous Medical Problems read more
  • J
    jw99

    Hello all!
    I first want to start off by saying that I'm not sure where to post this, so I'm putting it in miscellaneous. It's not an STD (I don't think), but it is in an area that is affecting those kinds of things...I'll get to the point.
    A couple to a few weeks ago, I was taking a shower and found a surprisingly large lump in my bikini zone. I kind of expected it, since I woke up with the familiar discomfort of pseudo-folliculitis that I had had a few months before. I knew the drill- wear as loose of clothing as possible and be careful in the area.
    It seemed to go away pretty quickly, and was almost gone when I ran out of clean underwear of the less constricting variety. I didn't have a chance to do laundry until later that day, and when I finally got to change, I had lost a lot of progress. This was 5 days ago, and it's somehow even seemed to get worse since. I tried icing it at one point, but it hasn't been helping much. Now, it is longer than my thumbnail in roughly an elliptical shape and a kind of purple. There is also a ring of white, which appears to be dead skin (from icing probably?).
    Anyway, this has gone on for a while, and I haven't shaved anything since...it's quite painful and I feel very not sexy right now...if anyone has tips for the future to avoid this (I apparently have really sensitive skin) or how to treat it without going to another doctor, it would be insanely helpful.
    Thanks!

    posted in Miscellaneous Medical Problems read more
  • J
    jw99

    Hello!
    I was going through my account and noticed a portion labeled "Reputation". I was just wondering how that section works.
    Thanks!

    posted in Registration/Membership Problems read more
  • J
    jw99

    @Ineligible That's the thing, when they called to give me the results I clarified what was tested and brought up that the statement said Trich instead of Herpes, which was weird since the doctor only told me that she was testing for herpes/viral infection. The person giving the results over the phone said that they did both of those, and that both were negative.
    Update: still no menstruation, but the bump is now bleeding a bit and is more visible in a mirror. It looks a bit like HPV to me, though I have just had my second vaccine in a Gardisil series and have been pretty much monogamous with the same sexual partner for years. (There was one instance of saliva-genital contact, but this was months ago.) I do need to see a doctor, I agree. I'm just getting very tired of going from doctor to doctor. I'll try to set up an appointment soon, though.

    posted in Sexually Transmitted Diseases read more
  • J
    jw99

    Looking back, this looks a little rant-y...sorry about that :S

    posted in Sexually Transmitted Diseases read more
  • J
    jw99

    Hello,
    At this point, it has been almost 3 weeks since I found a small, non-painful and sometimes itchy (though this could be because of not drying well after a shower) bump on my outer labia. It seems to have gotten bigger since, but this could be in my head too. After finding this, I already had a doctor appointment, where I was found to have a UTI. I was put on antibiotics, and after finishing these, noticed more troubling symptoms: excessive discharge that had a bit of an odour and would cause me to need to change my liner about 4 times per day. I went to one of those drop-in clinics to figure out what was going on, took down careful notes beforehand of all of my recent symptoms (including non-STD related ones)...and was disappointed to find that the doctor didn't really pay attention to me. She didn't ask questions or have interest in looking at my list, just ordered a bunch of tests then told me that it was out of her hands when I started worrying about what would show up on a billing statement. She didn't understand what I meant when I mentioned that I was thinking it could be an STD with a latency period, either. She thought that I was just late menstruating (though my file said that I had had it not long ago).
    This may seem to not be applicable to the concern, but it kind of is. So I went through all these tests, including herpes (though it wasn't written on the statement, Trich was instead), Chlamydia/Gonorrhea, a Pap smear, a urinalysis, a test for yeast/bacterial vaginosis, and I believe that that is it. Everything came back negative, they said, and that I should see a gp if symptoms persist. After all of this, I finally had sex with my significant other, and started bleeding during. This has happened twice now, and the third time we've had sex since, the bleeding happened when I went to sleep afterwards then stopped the next morning (when I should have gotten my period). The excessive discharge has stopped sometime between the doctor visit and now.
    What is happening now: I should have gotten my time of the month about 2-3 days ago, have a seemingly bigger bump where I shouldn't have one, and am showing some pain after urination. I don't want to self-diagnose, but am so tired of going to doctors and showing them parts that make me uncomfortable and having them act completely apathetic while I am obviously freaking out. If there is any knowledge on what can be going on here, it would be so helpful and I could hopefully feel more at ease.
    Thanks!

    posted in Sexually Transmitted Diseases read more
  • J
    jw99

    Hello all!
    It has been a while. I am addressing an issue that has bothered me for a good number of years, but I never thought to post about here. Anyway..I have this habit that I can't seem to break. I think it may be related to my OCD, or could even just be motor memory at this point mixed with a dopamine response..either way, I've been doing this for almost 10 years and want to stop. It may sound weird/gross to some, but what I tend to do is gently scratch at my scalp, remove any dandruff that may have been released in doing so, then check my nails. (This last part is for the sake of making sure that I didn't draw blood, which used to be an issue in high school.) My parents have been criticizing me on this for years, and make me feel horrible whenever I do it. I just can't seem to stop! It seemed to start after I stopped digging my fingernails into my arms, which took enough willpower as it was. I guess it comes out more when I'm stressed or bored, but considering I have an anxiety disorder the first one is quite frequent. I have heard that this is not a unique issue, so has anyone here done this, and perhaps found a way to break the habit?
    Hope for a quick response!
    JW

    posted in Miscellaneous Medical Problems read more
  • J
    jw99

    @readytogo thanks for the information, it is very helpful. while birth control pills would help the situation, i know myself. i would forget to take them and end up in the same boat. besides, the guy im with (my fiance, now) is pretty against use of the pill for various reasons. plus now, though i finally have a job, i need to really cut back on spending. while i realise that taking the pill would be one helluva lot cheaper than potential offspring, id rather learn to be responsible than have to take yet another med.

    posted in Contraception & Birth Control read more
  • J
    jw99

    update: me and that guy didnt work out, and frankly i'm relieved, looking back on it all. now i have a wonderful boyfriend who for some reason puts up with me and my neuroticism...says he loves it, in fact, since its part of me. go figure.anyway, so what brings me back here is this: i am having yet another pregnancy scare. y this keeps happening to me i dont know. i thought i was smarter than this. earlier this month we ended up having unprotected sex and i took plan b for the first time since new year's. i think this caused me to have one day or so in which i had menstrual-like bleeding, but that could have been because i was just finishing menstruating anyway.so we spent a week or so with my parents a week ago, then when we got back went crazy on eachother and ended up having unprotected sex when we got back to school. he was nowhere near finishing before we put a condom on, but i still didnt feel right about it in retrospect. the next day, we got drunk and had unprotected sex for a short period of time, the same way (we put on a condom and he wasnt even close). a day or so later i talked to one of my professors, who told me that there is sperm in precum, which caused a rise in pregnancies last year. i felt so stupid and anxious for days, but decided to check out some websites that seemed reputable enough, which said that there is no sperm in precum. im so confused. is livestrong a good site? who do i believe? should i be freaking out?

    posted in Contraception & Birth Control read more
  • J
    jw99

    hi all,i havent posted anything for a long time, mostly b/c my now ex was insulted (no, i didnt let him read it, he thought of it as me blogging our personal life though). anyway...that's what im here to say i guess. some of u have been very good about answering my posts with great advice and maturity, and i dont even know if you or anyone will be reading this, but i just wanted to say...u were right. mostly, anyway. my now ex-bf wasnt abusive, really. maybe a bit sexually. depends on how u deal with coercion and things like that. but here's what happened...i went to this school-funded event with free laser tag and a "headphone disco". i got bored with the disco right away and started talking to the guy in front of me in line for laser tag. im really glad i did.we've been relatively inseparable ever since. hes in 2 of my classes and also a bio major, and i suspect (more than suspect) that he may be a tad more intelligent than i am. either way, it's nice to use polysyllabic words more often. and as for the beliefs thing, he guessed what i was. and said it was cool, and made sense. last thing: total gentleman. first night we kissed he apologised for accidentally touching my butt at one point.i'm having a wonderful time over here at school, but meanwhile wade is very unhappy. he started off saying that he needed me and i was the one and everything...then went the altruistic route and dumped me on fb (again). he still calls me to see if im ok, though i know he just wants to talk and im the one hes pulled to. last night, he asked me if hes fat. this guy is skinnier than i am! his brothers tease him about it often. and now he wants to know if hes fat? (or: ugly, crazy, etc)meanwhile, when i dont worry about wade, i feel oddly...liberated. i told myself i wasnt changing for him, but when we shortly broke up i promised i would go to church w/him and do bible studies each week. i guess there are other things too, but i wont get into it.i feel like for the first time in my life, im more confident but this confidence isn't based off of someone else. i think im ready to start my life now. it's like that feeling when u stretch ur legs after sitting for a few hours or how i would imagine the same would be for wings. or perhaps a baby bird learning to fly. im not sure im doing a very good job of explaining this, but it's still quite new to me.anyway, thanks for reading all this. if any of you have any suggestions on something to do about wade, i would really appreciate it. im sure ill b in touch :P jade

    posted in Relationships read more