The chiche 'Blame the Alcohol' in my eyes is half true...
Firstly that must be pointed out is that it is YOUR fault for drinking too much of it, and thats why it can only be partly responsible as it does make you do things you wouldn't and often you just find yourself 'going with it', which can lead to trouble!
This is nothing nobody doesn't already know!
Tell her? Definately not! I'd say if you hadn't been drinking soo much alcohol you wouldn't have found yourself in the position in the first place but it seems like you've got the sense to notice that and will cut down... but will you!?
I know whenever i've gone out in the past drinking and ended up sick through drink i've said i'll never have another, following week im back on it again! If I really wanted to I could stop drinking, I just don't want to. Sure, it makes you feel pap sometimes but feeling drunk can feel good!
Thing is with cutting down, is you'll always have 'one more' and ya mates will also push you to man up, truth is it is very hard to 'cut down' if your a social binge drinker going cold turkey is the best way forward. Inevitability you wont cut down unless you have super human will power so stopping altogeather or only a casual drink at home would be best!
Be the designated driver when you go out, drink soft drinks!
Think VERY carefully because if this happens again, you may not be able to brush it under the carpet!
As with Most people, most people know someone like this friend of yours. Some people are just unwilling to get off their arses and expect life to just work itself out and fall into their hands.
Life is far from easy and until you finish College/Uni you really don't realise how hard and harsh it can be until you are doing everything for yourself.
It is amicable that you want to help, as with others with similar mates like this, I have tried to help them but they either make excuses or just don't want to act. They are lazy, lack motivation. There will undoubtedly be undelying issues that would need to be sorted before you could even start to consider the big picture.
Also, just wanting to settle down and have a family is a fair aspiration in life. Not everybody wants a big career or see the world, they just want a family. Nothing wrong with that, we all have different dreams and no dream is better than another, we all have different ideas on what we want from life.
Bottom line, he is your friend. Don't worry about his life, worry about your own. When he sees you and your other friends making their way in the world, no doubt he'll look in the mirror and reaslise he needs to pull his finger out...
As Roc said, you must ask him to be strait with you. You don't want to be messed around and by it being as it is isn't going to do either of you any favours!
Bare in mind that War does things to people, it changes attitude, perspectives and lives! He may well have seen things that have scared him or things he is struggling to comprehend. Drinking would definately sugest this as a way of escape.
You know what needs to be done deep down. Just get on with it, whilst you may well hear what you don't want to hear, something needs to change!
You've just got to get over ur insecurity mate.
In respect of sexual pleasure unless it is massivly smaller than average (like thumb size) then it doesn't make much differance.
They come in different shapes and sizes, ive never looked and mine and worried too much about how it compares to the competition. Shes not with you for your dick shes with you because shes into YOU, sex is only a part of it after all!
Noone cares about the issue other than you! Accept that, man up and get on with it!
From painful experiance mate, I personally would say your best to keep away.
Problem is that if you do get into a relationship with her, since u live togeather its gonna be intense and would undoutedly cause friction in the house. If it turns out shes not into you, again very awkward!
If you guys lived appart, then maybe
The best strategy with women is to 'strike whilst the iron is hot', it shows your not a pussy and you know what you want, and is the best way to meet up with girls.
Your iron is undoutedly quite cold now, probably a lost oppertunity.
There really are soo many amazing girls out in this world, dont worry too much about one coz the'll be an even better one round the corner!
Good luck on whatever you do!
I myself am in the process of hopefully coming out of one of the most misrible times of my life. This year was supposed to be a defining year in my life, it has mostly, but the past 3 months have been aweful and made me quite ill.
Life is full of ups and downs, whilst the ups are great it is how you deal with the downs that show you have character.
You will learn valuable lessons going through what you are going through, you will not make the same mistakes again, you'll be a stronger person for it! Life is fucking hard work, it you want to keep on top of it, it's brutal. You will get fucked over plenty in your life, sometimes things will happen that will make you soo angry and depressed but those feelings will go in time and you will be able to pick your life up and move on again!
Always remember that however bad your life is there are people out there who have it worse, be greatful of what you have because there are people out there with nothing, closer to home than you'd think.
Everyone has problems, Im now feeling good for the future, i've grown more this year than any other stage of my life (at 24). Take the rough will the smooth, good things are undoutedly round the corner (or the next!).
As a white Englishman living in London I see people of every creed and colour every single day...
I don't really understand the colour issue to be honest, I don't even notice it. You are not defined by your colour, you are defined by your personality and other things that make you you.
If you are a good person, you are a good person regardless of what colour your skin is. If you are a ct, your a ct regardless of what colour your skin is.
If you see yourself as a colour and not a person you become part of the problem in my eyes. I am aware that the US is prehaps still has a little way to go in regards to race equality but if you start seeing people and not races life is a lot better!
Ultimately how we are braught up will have an impact on our views on race but never think you arent as good as someone else because of your colour, the US has a black president. If someone said that 30 years ago the'd have got lynched, its reality now!
Embrace people of different races, religions and cultures, they bring a vibrance to society and half the reason I moved to London was to experiance it, sure there are the minority of people who have issues with diversity but I love it!
I live with a girl I work with, just the two of us. There has always been a joke about us being a married couple even before we moved in togeather.
As you can imagine I have feelings for her, living in such close proximity of the same person for several months attatchment is only natural. To an extent we even live like a married couple.
The most we have done is a drunken kiss on holiday but recently we have been becoming increasingly close...
Saying that she sees other guys, I see other girls. Sometimes it just feels like the inevitable is just being delayed though. I don't think that if you are in a situation like this you can be just friends? Can you? Is it inevitable that your feelings for one another will take control and things will happen?
Hey guys n gals
20 minutes ago I was really happy and in line for a great night with a girl that I like. I am now sitting here writing this message instead.
What went wrong i hear u ask? Well... We went out eating and drinking with friends this evening, all going well... banter, flirting, we are close, have been for ages, we live togeather (we have quite a unique relationship, just trust me in this case that we live togeather and wanna do things to each other and it works)...
Anyway me and this girl got to our flat, she was feeling a little down, concerned that a family member of an ex didn't like her, that particular relationship was over a year ago but still cares for her ex's family and are good friends with them.
I comforted her, made her feel her usual self and we started having a laugh. She decided to put on some music and asked weather I wanted to share a bottle of wine with her. She seemed to want to have a bit of fun tonight.
Then for whatever reason as the going was about to get heavy i was sick. I got to the toilet to do it, but clearly this act killed the mood.
This isn't the first time its happened. Whenever things start progressing into a more intimate situation i usually feel sick and either get out of the situation or throw up. It is stopping me from getting intimate with girls. It is like a barrier.
I don't know if im afraid of what may happen next or what, in the previous cases I usually sense and want something to happen but my body just says 'no' and i end up pegging it or being sick.
Its getting me down. I just want to be happy and enjoy myself but my body is fighting me and i dont know why or what to do about it! Undoutedly in my subconsious if i end up in a similar situation its going to increase the chance of it happening again. It sucks.
Rant over. It helps me to write down whats on my mind, if anyone has any ideas on how i can pull myself togeather because im missing out here and i just want to be normal, i am in every other aspect of my life, why not this bit?!
I had epilepsy when i was about 12, luckily i grew out of it.
I had to take 2 epilim chrono 500 tablets every day but my condition was fairly minor and common at an age when ur body is rapidly changing.
The best thing you can do is learn to understand the condition, do some research so if she has a seizure you know how to deal with it.