Never to surrender, never to retreat...<br />Give your last breath to defend it
I don't know exactly things I love, but I can describe few of my precious moments or experiences...
1)Listening to a song on the piano with weird chords (like C#add9, F#6), on a rainy Sunday evening....
2)Every ways my ex-girlfriends used to irritate me and the small fights after them. I prefer to love moments when someone disagree s with me...
3) Drinking red wine with my closest friends in a small tavern hundreds kilometers away from any city.
4) Being a part of a circle and it's very important living with some people you know so well...
5) Starring at the old painting above my piano and thinking how my life could be, if I was living as a farmer in medieval ages
Well, actually I think it's quite normal to be that shy at this age. Especially when you're so much in love with a girl.
I think it's very common to feel awkward and stupid in front of the girl you like. You don't have to be seriously anxious about it, because almost everyone was just like you. On the other side, you have to realize that your reactions may look cute to her. It can be so cute when you try to say something to her, you feel this apparent embarrassment and you mix your words and speak nonsense. It's happened to almost anyone and most girls like it. She will understand your profound feelings and she will get the message soon. Don't worry about it
I believe that you'll break your "silence", when you try to measure things and realize that it's better to sacrifice your pride and self-confidence, instead of your feelings. Of course, when you actually do this, you'll feel more self-confident as ever before and more experienced. It's only a mind game, after all
Personally, I believe you're doing fine and I feel jealous that you're so strongly in love with a girl. Recently, I've missed that feeling pretty much
Lately, I'm avoiding friends/relatives. My friends would barely understand me and I'd only succeed to fill their mind with my sorrow. I've already confused my family with my troubles and I regret it.
Thanks for the compliment, but If I was good at discussions, I wouldn't end like this.
natakuOriginally Posted By: IneligibleFor example, if you propose taking some particular unexpected action, it may have effects on more than just the issues you are thinking of.
This is the reason things are so complicated and uncertain. Nothing depends on me and I feel I cannot do anything about it. But the situation is getting even worse and disturbing for me. My guilts are growing even bigger day by day, and I can't stop thinking about them, even if I have found thousand explanations and excuses.Originally Posted By: Ineligible
1. I think it depends very much on the guilt, and what the consequences of telling it may be.
It's the guilt about my second question. I feel guilty, when I sit and do nothing, while others around me are working hard. For this reason, no one respects me and I cannot respect even myself. Maybe it's not my fault I ended like this. Other guys would have a bright smile, if they had my position. But, I prefer to stay closer to my ethics than my own butt. I'd surely give my position to someone who really needs it than me. I don't deserve such a good treatment.Originally Posted By: Ineligible
Can you suffer with them on the throne?
It's a throne. The king can sympathize with their suffer, but he can never feel it or understand it. This is the most tragic thing. I always try to help other people by talking to them, but I really cannot understand what they've been through. This is the reason I feel like a ghost in there. I cannot be there with others and I cannot let myself or they don't let me to discuss with them. My thoughts and their opinion about me turn conversations into diplomacy.Originally Posted By: Ineligible
3. Yes - but it needs consideration of all the effects. Will you be sacrificing others along with yourself? Will there be a nett good?
Actually, I don't have any rights to do anything. I just have to shut up and stay discreet. I just have to enjoy my life, without others noticing me. But I cannot follow this thing and I cannot enjoy my life this way. In the end, I'm not such a bad person.
It's sad I can't explain the situation, but I gave some hints. My only wish is to leave as soon as possible this place, but I can't. I have to suffer this situation for a very long time, and I really don't know how I will end there.
I really can't describe how I ended so depressed and sad the last few days (about a month), but I have only some questions to ask.
1) Is it better to carry your guilts on your heart instead on your shoulders? What would you say if most of these guilts would sound insane to any others?
2) Can you stand sitting on a throne and doing nothing, when everyone else is standing up and working? Can you stand watching people around you suffering, when you're in a totally different situation? Can you stand being so different, even if we're talking about a short period (1 year)? You ended in this position by luck and you feel that you really don't worth it.
3) Would you help someone else by sacrificing yourself?
Lately I've really confused logic and ethics. My family consider most of my thoughts ridiculous, as every logical man. But I can't escape from them and I'm in this position for many months. As a result, my mood looks like a shipwreck, sinking even deeper into the darkest depths.
I'm not expecting from anyone to answer these silly questions, since you don't know anything about my situation. I know I have to face things by myself. But, I thought this post would be interesting.
The theory of Communism has a great and very noble ideology, which very close to the Christian one, but it lacks of individual and democratic rights in many aspects. So, it's very vulnerable to political corruption (Stalin got advantage of it) and it's almost impossible to actually work in real life. This is why most "communists" believe that Russia/China never had actually Communism, and I totally agree with them.
On the other side, I believe we must not consider Capitalism as the best economical system, since it also has some disadvantages in its ideology (pure Capitalism can be very cruel to the low social classes) and it can also have some breakdowns. I always thought a mixture of some economical mechanisms would bring an advantage to our society. We have to be more open minded and finally set free ourselves from pointless political "labels".
Generally I believe that "Laws against public will" cannot be enforced at any way, as it breaks the main principle of democracy. Prostitution may be a good example of this, because many people may not be truly against it as we believe. Most of the times, people think prostitution is unethical/wrong but they visit at the same time a brothel/prostitute.
Personally, I think prostitution should not be labeled as "banned" from our society. It may be unethical to some religions, but it's not a crime. If the goverment would fully legalize it, everyone would benefit from it. After all, it's a job and it should be considered the same way by the goverment, too.
Finally, prostitutes should have our respect. They work under extreme conditions most of the times and they satisfy the public. As you may know, prostitution is considered the first job in our history.