• N

    Originally Posted By: sdp

    The problem (particularly in the US) is the idea that many have (such as yours) that an exposed breast is sexual and deemed inappropriate and pornographic.

    Once the sexualizing of the breast (while breastfeeding) is flushed out ofyour and others heads, there will no long be a problem.

    Foremost... The woman shouldn't be flopping her breast out in public.. there are scarves and blankets that should be used for discretion. I do believe that most woman are discrete when breastfeeding.. so I really don't see an issue.

    I would first like to respectfully disagree with the your I bolded. I never implied that any of these views were my own. I was only commenting on a hypocrisy I noticed.

    Second, I would like to ask that if the breast is not sexual and should not be viewed as such, when why does it matter whether it is exposed in public or not?

    On a personal note outside of argument, I have no sexual interest in breast when it comes to breast feeding. I won't deny that I have an appreciation for them, but I am not puritanical or anything. My questions here are strictly based strictly from a logical point of view.

    posted in Community Forum read more
  • N

    er. I have to objectively disagree with me being controlling.

    Yes, it is her life to experience her way.

    Yes, she has the right to do whatever she wants to do.

    I have never told her she "can't" do anything. I have only actively discouraged her from doing things. Logically if me trying to warn her about the potential risk she is not even thinking about is controlling, then would you telling me to stop telling her what to do.

    With that said, apparently she mislead me on several points and motivations in her getting a job. So I'm not as worried as I was.

    posted in Relationships read more
  • N

    Alright, I'm going to be honest I am all for a mothers right to feed her child.

    I don't have any personal issues with this, merely an issue when examining the situation objectively.

    I was watching T.V. the other day and the issue of breastfeeding in public came up. The T.V. show I was watching was heavily in favor of a mothers right to breast feed her child in public. The general sentiment was "if it bothers you, look away" which I think isn't entirely a fair statement.

    The reason this bothers me is because, it is illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to look at pornography or even star in pornography even if it is only softcore topless women.

    So I have to logically ask, why is it ok for a mother to expose her breast to feed her baby, even if every minor walking by can see it? For that matter if the woman is under 18, I would go to jail if caught looking at her breast online, but its perfectly ok for me to see them walking down the street?

    We can argue "intent" all day long, but to me its irrelevant. If a woman can expose herself under the age of 18 to feed a baby legally, why can't she do the same thing to make money?

    If its Ok for minors to see breast walking down the street to mcdonalds why is it not ok for them to look at pornography for sexual purposes?

    Please, keep in mind I'm not arguing either side. Only making observations about potential societal hypocrisy I've noticed.

    posted in Community Forum read more
  • N

     Originally Posted By: Ineligible
    Check to see if you still have your clothes on. Clothes on: I'm afraid you've been left behind. Naked: possibly heaven, possibly not.

    Are you chained to a wall in heaven? I am not sure where I am but, I woke up naked with a collar.


    posted in Community Forum read more
  • N

    I actually agree with you.

    I am a firm believer in gay rights, but I have somewhat mixed feelings about "gay pride" as a whole.

    I think everyone should be proud of themselves and who they are, but objectively speaking.. I don't march down the street "COMPUTER SCIENCE PRIDE!"

    Then again.. I do have some negative sentiment brought on by a guy I knew in high school. I don't care that your gay... you can still act normal and not do whatever you can to annoy everyone in the world.

    posted in Community Forum read more
  • N

    As someone actively trying for a 6 pack now..

    Let me say don't stop working for it.. and don't stop trying.

    Have you been to ?

    Also.. just keep in mind once you get it.. you've earned it.. and have something to be proud of.

    Genetically some people are just lucky...

    One advantage you have over them.. is when you finally get it.. and work to keep it.. You will be use to doing the work.

    As they age.. their situations change.. and they lose it.. it will be harder for them to get it back.. to do the work they need to do to maintain it.

    Keep going, don't look down, and be proud of what you do and who you are.

    I'm 260 and feel like I'm dying of starvation because over the last week I've switched to a strict lower calorie diet (I am calling it a 'diet' because, a diet is what you eat.. although its a life style change more than a "diet" in the traditional sense.)

    Trying to hit 1800 or less calories a day.. I wake up and the first thing I do in the morning is a mile of cardio in the gym before doing crunches and everything else..

    Keep with it man.

    posted in Health read more
  • N

    Um... Let me ask a stupid question.

    Who wants a quick blow job.

    There is a certain level of skill in being able to make someone get off fast.. yes.

    There is also a certain level of skill in being able to pleasurably draw it out.

    It really goes both ways.

    I am removing the outlier of people who get off slower to begin with keep in mind.

    posted in Male Genitalia read more
  • N

    I know in the past I've had somewhat codependent tendencies.

    So, I really do make an effort to do "sanity checks" as their called in computer science.. (Making sure that your program is running properly and not doing some strange miscalculation to give some bizarre result due to minor or major programming errors.)

    The problem I am having right now.. is I am really worried about my relationship. I can't put this girl on a pedestal because I know she isn't perfect. She is forgetful, can be impulsive, naive, and doesn't always think things through. None the less I am madly in love with her, because she is caring, fun, loving, and can develop interest in things that goes beyond surface level.

    I realize you can't "fix" people however, I do believe that any relationship your in.. you are building each other up or tearing each other down. (A firm belief of mine is that nothing in life is constant from a somewhat objective point of view.) And since we started dating she has gotten a bit better about some of her issues because, I stress the importance of her thinking first and point out that her actions have consequences.

    She has been hell bent on getting a job for quite some time now. The problem with this is her and I are at somewhat different places in life in this respect. My family is currently paying for my college while hers can not afford to.

    She is 19 while I am 23. I have made a lot of mistakes in college and if my parents hadn't messed up quite a bit of my education by never informing me I'm dyslexic.. never addressing the issue and never promoting good study habits.. they would be well within their rights to expect me to have graduated by now or cut me off.

    The reason why I worry about her getting a job is because, I really.. really.. really love her and I really really really want this relationship to work out. The problem with it is that she lives in some condo's which are about a 30 or 40 minute drive away and she openly admits she is horrible at scheduling.

    She keeps talking about how she has had band + highschool so she knows "what its like" to go to school and have a job. By contrast, I have lived in an apartment and done my best to study, hold a job, and do well.

    I for 3 years lived with what is now my ex and we realized that it is really, borderline impossible to A. keep the apartment clean B. Study and get the grades we want C. Maintain a job.

    I hate to have a "me vs. everything else in her life" mentality.. but, what I think my girlfriend doesn't understand is now.. that is pretty much the way it is going to be.

    I returned back to live with my parents after my ex and I broke up. I had to quit my job since I now commute 40 miles to school and my job was around my school.

    I have recently really started working harder than ever to change my life around. I'm 100 pounds over weight, so I've started getting up at 4:30 in the morning so that I can get on a schedule and exercise and when school rolls around I can right after working out study on days I don't have class and finally get the grades and the GPA I want.

    I am making major changes to my life to really fix a lot of problems I've had in the past. This is part of the reason for the time being I have no interest in trying to get a job myself. Especially after last spring semester where working with my group literally ate up any time I would have had to work.

    I have rambled a bit, but where I am going with this is I really want this relationship to work.. and I am worried it won't.

    The reasons why are because, now once school starts... Its up to her to manage her schedule. In band/highschool there is "drama" and its a lot of work, but its scheduled for you.

    She is now going to have to deal with drama at work, handle her own study/work schedule, and she expects that seeing/talking to me isn't going to change..

    However, yesterday something happened that I am hoping made her realize why I am worried. She was eating dinner with her family and I sent her a text asking her if she was interested in playing an online game after. She responded "I'm going help a neighbor by weeding their garden should be done in an hour so after that sure". That was around 5:30. I sent a text at 9:15 asking if she was alright because she had not responded. She said she was just watching her 5 week old cousin and talking to family. She later got online.. and I openly said something I feel is very true.. very real, but I still hate that it is the reality.

    I told her "look, I'm not mad, but here is what you have to understand tonight you chose your 5-year old cousin over me, you didn't even think about it. I know you keep saying its going to work out and your going to keep seeing me 'if you can help it.' however you just got distracted when you happened to see family and bam without even realizing it you chose them over me. I don't want this to be a 'them vs. me' issue, however what you have to realize is now every single one of your actions has an unavoidable consequence positive or negative.."

    And the point I am trying to make to her and why I am worried is because even a relatively "easy" job is still taking up her time. She has a lot of family/neighbors and now... I am on a schedule, I have to be..

    However, now I don't talk to her as much as I like or get to actually be around her as much as I like.. however, she really up till now seems to think everything is just going to be fine.. The way I see it however... is even last semester there were times where the most communication we had was a few text through out the day.

    A basic principal of psychology is that long distance relationships don't work.. And I wouldn't call this "long distance" however, now.. She is going to have work, no talking to her there.. She is going to have school.. No talking to her there..

    And in addition to all that.. she is going to have a lot of family/neighbors who are going to want her time.. and unless she more or less quits helping neighbors/cuts family ties.. We aren't really even going to speak on a regular basis.. She always has family members coming in town who she wants to see.. And there is always some "work" being done that she helps out with from remodeling to whatever.

    So It's not an issue of "family vs. boyfriend" that she is going to think of.. She is just going to feel obligated to help family do stuff... and every action just means less time for us.. (which isn't abundant to begin with).

    Contrary to popular belief.. distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder.. You miss someone more if you don't see them for a little while.. however.. eventually you quit missing them.. and I'm kinda worried this relationships about to end..

    Am I just overly concerned here? I mean.. I really love her.. and really want to stay in this relationship.. However, the idea of seeing my girlfriend once a month (which is a very real possibility) is pretty daunting...

    posted in Relationships read more
  • N

    Umm... I do not under any circumstances believe that if two people are in a bad relationship they should stay together for the sake of the kid.

    However, you have been in a relationship 7 years and gotten married to this woman. It sounds like she does want to be with you.

    Why not get counseling of the non divorce variety?

    I don't know the circumstances but, really would it hurt to try and make it work?

    posted in Relationships read more
  • N

    I honestly can't answer how well established it was.

    I do know as much as my mom can be a bitch, it isn't something she would lie about.

    And to be honest, I actually while at work one night had a couple notice it.. I for the life of me couldn't get my numbers right I kept confusing a 6 and a 9 and they actually randomly asked me "so got dyslexia?" and then proceeded to tell me their daughter does the exact same thing especially when she gets tireder.

    My ex girlfriend noticed it enough for her to badger me and say that I need to get help or find out if there is anything that can be done about it.

    As to my writing, I have been using forums for over 10 years, I can write well enough for casual forums or to satisfy a teacher so long as they aren't harping on punctuation or grammar.. however, math really tends to taunt me lately.

    I don't know if someone with severe dyslexia would ever adapt to typing regardless of how much time given but, I must confess I've spent the better part of my life behind a keyboard. Hell, even now as I go over my writing quite a bit I usually notice it almost instantly but, I have to actively pay attention for that red line..
    So if anything, I might attribute spell check and years upon years of forum/chat usage to minimal effect on my writing.

    posted in Relationships read more