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  • R
    Recovery24hours

    I have never been able to come from a blow job with my wife and I want to but it just doesn't feel as good as vaginal sex to me - I am so turned on by staring at her beautiful face It bothers her that I can't orgasm from a BJ and she takes it personally. It is not her though, it is my issue and the best thing I can do is let her know that. We had major marital problems and separated for a year during which time we both had relationships with other people. The woman I dated was also frustrated that I couldn't come from a BJ. actually, I couldn't cum with her at all, she was amazing and gorgeous but I could not stop thinking about and wanting my wife. She took the fact that I couldn't orgasm with her personally and I felt so bad. I related to your story because I focused on giving her really great head - I love doing that even if I don't cum and it is very fulfilling to me if the woman has orgasms and squirts - I think now that that is all I really wanted was to go down on her.

    Your situation sounds like it is his issue and has very little to do with you.

    posted in Sexuality read more
  • R
    Recovery24hours

    My mom caught me when I was 13 and she had the wit and aplomb to say "oh gosh honey, I'm sorry I disturbed your nap, dinner is ready" and left - nothing else was said even though I am quite sure she knew what was happening. I walked in on my dad once when I came home early from university one holiday - I quietly turned and left and he never saw or heard me but I thought 'good for that geezer!'

    A teacher told me "it is spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." Let it go and don't be disturbed, we all do it, it is normal and there NOTHING wrong with it. If your mom judges you that's her problem.

    posted in Masturbation read more
  • R
    Recovery24hours

    Wow! You're a beautifully strong spirit.

    posted in Depression read more
  • R
    Recovery24hours

    Get out of your head and go talk to a therapist. Be persistant until you find one you really jive with. Talking about it is the best thing I ever did and not as hard as you imagine. I didn't want to stop the fantasy either because it felt so good and I was hooked on the TG literature too which I'm going to say typically is like porn or a Lifetime movie - predictably formulaic and poorly written - but not always... trying to think of an example... Well, who watches porn as high art anyway. So yes, therapy helped and even though I went in not wanting to stop the fantasy (I just wanted to understand it more) I found that the more I worked on loving and accepting myself, the less I needed or even wanted to indulge it.

    I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with the fantasy itself, it is how much time you spend in it and if it detracts from enjoyment of your life. For me it was an addiction - fun and kind of avant garde at first, like pot and alcohol but it soon became a total drag, unhealthy and destructive. Speaking of drag, I now understand why they call it that; don't start crossdressing, it's a damned rabbit hole that is near impossible to crawl out of but I did finally did it.

    posted in Sexuality read more