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    utsukushii

    Sometimes I agree to it, sometimes I just won't say anything. And I know its a problem...I just don't really know how to say anything without hurting him...I don't know if its really hurting me. I'm just tired of it, I want things to change, and its not helping anything. I've tried to say things before, tell him I don't want to, and he feels bad about himself, makes a scene...I think he's scared of losing me too, and that doesn't help anything

    posted in Relationships read more
  • U
    utsukushii

    I'm kind of worried about putting this here I don't know how much I should say...My boyfriend is a few years older than me, and is, well, an incredible pervert. We've known eachother for a little over two years now, have broken up before, and we've been together now since February.He wants to do this and that to me and I've accepted most of it but it just never stops. We've done a lot of other things, we go out once every week just to movies or to eat or whatever.I want to do things with him to, but sometimes I feel drowned in it. Or I just can't decide if I want to do that much or not.We had a period of sex sex sex, and then we went out for a full weekend, alone, sleeping together for the first time. It felt like we were already living together. It was amazing...I think I'm depressed...I'm not sure. Coming back from that weekend, now I'm back in my shitty life, having to deal with people I don't like. That weekend was the only time in my life, I swear, I felt happy.But yeah, now I'm back dealing with things again, and his wants seem so unimportant. I feel cruel, I've made him feel horrible, and I'm still trying to figure out why...I want to get things done with my life so I can be that happy again, and he wants that too, but he's still wanting to do the whole come over and try not to get caught thing and that is our only option if we want to have sex, and yeah I want to have sex, but I don't think we should...We both force eachother to do things we don't want to do and yeah I'm not telling everything but I don't know how to stop this...tension...I keep questioning if I love him or not, and I really really do I just don't know how to express it other than like giving him a blowjob or something. I want to be able to express myself to him, more than saying I love you. I don't know how to...If this makes any sense, because I'm still not sure if this is exactly how I feel or not, any advice would be awesome.

    posted in Relationships read more