Overhearing ex-girlfriend having sex

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i could post a lenghtly post about the circumstance, but basicly i am living in the same house as my ex who i am still very much in love with, which is hard enough as it is... oh and to make it worse, our rooms are next to each other. but anyway.. the other night i had the misfortune of hearing her have sex with her current boyfriend. not just bed squeaking noises, but i heard her cum quite loud (moaning etc.)... i am really glad that in the 5 months since we broke up i have managed to not hear anything, until now.. it was pretty disturbing, and brought up a whole bunch of emotions.part of me was kind of turned on (probably because it reminded me of when i used to make her cum), but then realising that someone else was doing this to the girl i am still in love with made me feel quite sick. in fact i couldn't go to sleep at all that night.the other thing that made me feel really horrible was that it sounded like he was doing a pretty good job (maybe better than i ever did?)..i'm just wondering if anyone else has had the misfortune to be in the same situation, and how they felt..

Hey bud...first....don't ever judge your performance against any other guy....you'll create all sorts of crazy crap in your head and it'll mess you up for sure. Think about this....did he know you're in the next room? Did she know you're in the next room? If so.....maybe, just maybe this whole "great orgasm" thing was exagerated for your benefit. I'd suspect that the new b/f is somewhat anxious about your still being around and is trying very hard to be the "alpha male" here and keep the "prize." Any chance that either of you could get another place? This sounds like an ongoing recipe for pain and hurt (for you) and may keep you from moving on. Sounds like she's made it clear that she wants this guy..... Love is a tough thing....sometimes we gotta make the hard choices though. BTW....this never happened to me....I wouldn't want to be around her at all, even if friends...because it would be too painful. And add the stress of hearing this....I'd be totally freaked out and so hurt. (Just like you are) Hang in there bud, we'll be glad to keep supporting you through this stuff.

thanks, i hadn't really thought of how he feels, although after finding out she told him i still have feelings for her, i could imagine he feels pretty good around me knowing that he is "better than me"

to be hoenst, i don't think it was an act or anything, i'm quite sure the reason i haven't heard anything before was because she has made sure they are quiet out of respect to me(we used to do that, but to prevent the other peolpe in the house finding out about us).. i told her off for not being quiet, which was pretty embarrasing for me, but she appologised..

everybody tells me to move out, but i'm in a financial situation where i need to stay put... also i consider her a really good friend and don't want to just break off contact with her..

Dude, get out of there. If you're still in love with her, then the two of you are NOT friends. You need time away to get over it. Borrow money from someone, use credit, or save money as fast as possible. Just get out of there. Thats what I would do if it was me. Or you could consider asking her to move out and getting a new roomate. I mean, dont get at her sideways, just say something like, listen I dont think its working out with both of us here. See what she says. But yeah, man. If it was me and I had to go through what youre going through, I'd find a way out. That sounds too stressful.

I would have kicked open the door and beat the crap out of him (or at least tried my damnest to.) I have no idea how you can put up with that. For you own mental health, as well as her physical health if you do snap one day, one of you needs to move out. Period. Quit kidding yourself that you will get back together. Besides, chances actually are better you could get back together down the road if you are not living under the same roof. Then, she may actually realize she misses you. Right now, she gets the best of both worlds - your constant friendship and companionship and his fucking.

yeah, i agree that moving out and spending time away from her would help, yes even up the chances (if there are any) of getting back together with her...

about beating the crap out of him... hmm... as much as i would like to do that, i don't think she would be very happy with me if i did, and i wouldn't be too happy storming in there while they were having sex... it was bad enough having to hear it, not really wanting to actually see it...

luckily i will be moving out, but not for another three months.. i have no choice, there is really nowhere i can go until then.. besides, it might not be as bad as you guys think, it's not just me and her in the house, there are like 6 other people living here...

but, yeah... i do really wish i had moved out ages ago.. i wish i'd moved out when i was starting to sleep with her, as i have a good feeling we would still have been together now if that would have been done..

Man that has never happened to me but if it did I would probably snap. You need to get the F+++ out of that house, maybe you think you're friends with this chick, regardless you need to get away from her for about 2 months if you are real friends after this time you will continue to be friends but at least let some of the emotions escape. That's H-CORE!

I've got to agree that a hasty exit is the best idea. Living through that kind of crap will totally chew you up inside.
I've never been that close but I've whatched an ex I was hung up on, leave with the new guy. I felt sick and helpless. I knew they were off for a bit o banging and I Felt like I just had to let it happen.
Definately not good!

_I would have kicked open the door and beat the crap out of him (or at least tried my damnest to.) _

You have got to be kidding me. You really think that? What kind of a fool are you? They are not a couple. Having sex next door is not a reason to beat up this new BF. As you all have said, he shouldn't be living with his ex if he still has feelings for her, but beating up this new guy is just plain stupid.

Yeah, that whole mess is a recipe for insanity. All those strong emotions can get the best of you. I've been there, and it can really screw you up.I thoroughly agree with everyone else when they say move out of the house. Until then, you may want to see if you can switch rooms with someone so you won't have to listen to that. Once you're out of the house, I'd try to keep minimal contact with her if any at all. The close friends thing should probably die off for the good of both parties.

ok, so to be honest, i just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this... it did completely freak me out, and i paniced... but since this thread has bascily just been a "move out of there" thread, i will try to explain my situation..first.. as i mentioned, i am actually stuck here, not only because it is cheap and i cannot afford anywhere else at the moment, but also i have no friends i can really stay with...luckily tho, i had a talk with this girl today and i feel better than i have ever done before...to be honest i can't actually call her my ex, as we were never officially together. we became really good friends about a year ago because we both had similar problems and i think we both needed someone to talk to. one thing led to another and before i knew it we were sleeping together.. we were basicly a couple, in like 6 months, we spent maybe a week in total time where we were not together..she kept hinting that we should be a couple, but i didn't want that as we were moving into the same house and i felt scared, basicly cos i was sleeping in her bed and spending so much time together, that being a couple i wouldn't have any escape seeing as we lived together...although i kept saying we should stop, we never did and at one point i realised that i actually really cared for her, i pretty much felt like i was in love with her. unfortunately it was too late and she had decided she couldn't keep waiting for me, and moved on... moved on to this other guy.we still slept together for a while, and she kind of overlapped me and this guy, but then they became serious, and she stopped everything with me... since then it's been so fucking hard, and i have really had the worst 4-5 months in my life.. every time i tried talking to her, she pretty much told me to fuck off..however, today, i actually had a really good talk with her, and felt so good.. getting everything off my chest (i was very nervous about the whole thing, so i had to make a list so i remembered what i wanted to say/ask) and we spent the rest of the day in my room watching tv together, cuddling (in a friendly way)... and what's better, in the evening i went out with her and her boyfriend, and didn't feel too bad about it either.. it was just like being out with my friend and her boyfriend... it was still kinda hard.. but felt soo good..bascily i need her.. wether she is a lover or just a friend.. and i think things are gonna be good from now on.. thanks guys anyway.. it's been nice to hear what others have to say about the whole thing...

Hey what's up?My situation isn't nearly as rough as yours but here it is. Girl I have been in love with for a few months is going out with some guy. Okay fine. The problem: I sit 2 feet from her for like 6 hours a day! We still talk and she's so great to be around I want to bash my head through the computer monitor. Thank god she never discusses the guy; I think I'd jump out the window.Anyway, the thing was we went out once and she picked him over me, which also blows. I mean I'd love if I didn't have to see her but I don't have the choice. Kinda like you in that way. But the thing that has made it better is starting to look for someone new. That's what you gotta do. Get interested in someone else and you'll move beyond her.

When love is in excess it brings a man nor honor nor any worthiness. Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC), Medea, 431 B.C

yeaaaah............ well good luck with all that.

In reply to: I would have kicked open the door and beat the crap out of him (or at least tried my damnest to.) You have got to be kidding me. You really think that? What kind of a fool are you? They are not a couple. Having sex next door is not a reason to beat up this new BF. As you all have said, he shouldn't be living with his ex if he still has feelings for her, but beating up this new guy is just plain stupid. I agree, however, I can understand the sentiment!