I'm new here so hello, everyone!Here's my situation:My girlfriend and I have been intimate for the past couple of months now. After we "get busy" and I cum I'm always curious as to how I've done. I wait to hear "that was great" or some other sign that she's satisfied but that never happens.I end up asking her, after my impatience sets in, about my performance or her enjoyment. She always says she is happy or satisfied but there's never an expression on her face and I can't really tell if it's sincere.Just to give you an idea, she's this type of woman...strong, independant minded and her emotions are usually hidden.So what other ways can I approach this? Should I just be happy that I'm satisfied and disregard her pleasure? Is there a better way to approach her with my concern?Thanks in advance for your advice.
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Female Partner Performance Response
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well girls dont usually have an orgasm just because a guy cums. In fact it usually doesnt do anything except leave a mess for her to clean up afterwards. If you really wanna make it great for her, focus on pleasing her not yourself. Forget about your own needs for once and listen to what your gf has to say. Ask her how she likes it. Ask her what she wants you to do to her. Ask her to "teach" you how to pleasure her. Focus more on foreplay and less on intercourse. Really communication is the key.
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Thanks, but that IS my focus. Her...all the time. Most of the time I sacrifice comfort and pleasure for myself just to ensure I get the job done for her. Pleasing her is my number one priority.Communication I can agree on. I've asked her how she likes it and she says I'm doing fine and that ME cumming is what satisfies her. She also said that she's NEVER had an orgasm.I'm not looking to be the "one miracle" worker who makes her cum but I do want to please her to the best of my abilities. I try to talk to her after every time we make love but I get the same response in the same manner. This is where I'm at a loss.
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I assume you guys engage in foreplay, and don't just jump into bed and start pounding away.
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Foreplay...always. And not to brag, but I'm pretty damned good at oral sex.I guess what I'm trying to get at is I'm really looking for some feedback from her. I want to know more about what she's wanting and feeling. She just doesn't seem to want to tell me. Only if she would then I can give her what she needs if I'm not hitting that right "spot".
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you might be one of those unlucky guys who's girlfriend arent capable of having orgasms and stuff. I think its a condition i dunno. She might be one of those girls that have ZERO sex drive and pretty much only has sex to please the other person and/or get it over with. I guess she can goto a doctor and let them check to be sure of that but if she doesnt mind not having orgasms and stuff i guess you are pretty much stuck with what you have.
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We're not inside her head, so we can't give you feedback on her behalf. All you can go by are her facial expressions, sounds, muscle contractions, etc., and aim for the best response. The only real cure is to get her to communicate. She sounds pretty inhibited.
Is there anything that might be interfering with orgasm, like SSRI antidepressant medication?
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Thanks, abc...I think you are totally right.And good point, Steve, you guys aren't inside her head but I guess I just wanted to see if there was some other avenue I could travel that I haven't tried yet.She's not taking any meds that would effect it that I'm aware of. Her sex drive seems to be spread out a bit but when she cranks up she's really ready to go. She's just a bit on the private side sometimes with public matters and maybe it's just part of her nature.I don't know...guess I'll just have to keep doing my best and keep asking, hoping that she'll come out of that shell that must be holding her back.
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im pretty sure there isnt a disease that disables a woman from being able to orgasm. not all women are able to orgasm through penetration. all women have the capability to reach orgasm although some arent able to ejaculate.
why dont you try giving her oral.. dont think that shes going to orgasm right away you have to get a feel for what she likes after a few tries you will be able to tell what she likes by her body language and breathing, and normally it wont take like 5 minutes just keep doing it and it will happen .. and start slow dont just attack her clit with you tongue, multiple stimulation works best, try using your hand and your tongue simultaneously. or when having sex try a postion where you are able to reach down and rub her clit. -
all women have the capability to reach orgasmIs that really true?
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no it isnt a disease, its a condition. Something having todo with the chemicals in the females brain. It's pretty common i think. You hear about it all the time on the news, women having trouble orgasm and/or not having a sex drive or having a very low sex drive. And i dont think all women have the capability to reach an orgasm. And most who do dont ejaculate.
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Something having todo with the chemicals in the females brainI don't know about that, but there was a news story a couple of weeks ago where some researchers think that the female orgasm is an evolutionary accident, and heredity can affect whether a woman orgasms or not.Of course, there are fixable psychological and physical issues that can interfere with orgasm.
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evolutionary accident??? whoa you need to find that article for me, sounds interesting. I always thought the orgasms were so there would be contractions and the contractions would squeeze the penis and milk it pretty much and then move the cum closer to the cervix or something like that.
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wow so wer werent meant to enjoy it in the first place?
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> I always thought the orgasms were so...
That's an interesting idea, but not backed up by good evidence...especially given the rarity of female orgasms from intercourse, and the even rarer occurrence of simultnaeous orgasms.
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