Hi there, I know I have posted a similar question a few months ago, but I am still in need of a little help. I have been with my boyfriend now for little over a year. I am 19 and he's the first guy I have been with. My problem is that I have yet to orgasm, its driving me, and I know that he feels like hes not doing something right. What he does feels AMAZING whether he is using his hands or his mouth, or during intercourse. During manual or Oral sex it gets to a point were I feel like I am going to explode, but I just stay at this point and cannot get past it. After so long at this point I have to get him to stop, I just can't take it any more, and I do get fustrated sometimes that I can't orgasm. I can't get myself half as far, feeling as good by using my own hands in private. Not even close. I went out and bought a "bullet" one of the clitoral vibraters. It took a while but I can give myself a small orgasm with the vibrater. But the werid thing about it is that with the vibrater it doesn't feel as good as when he's touching me. He knows that clitoral stimulation feels better for me and spends a lot of time there. I am just wondering if anybody out there has any advice, any similar experiences? Any info would be wonderful! Thank you for your help! Jordyn
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Orgasm
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i had simmilar problems when i was fresh and new to sex, it's more about you beeing relaxed during intercourse. i used to hate the way it felt because it made me feel like i was no longer in controll of my body, which for me was a hard thing to accept, but once i did and learned to meditate while have sex, it was increadible. maybe you can try closing your eyes and think about how sentual everything he is doing to you is and take in every feeling he gives you. a lot of having an orgasm is in your mind, ie. more a mental stimulation then a physical one. learn to let go and you have a much better chance of "release". hope that helps
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I read that only 30-40% of girls orgasm during intercourse. Some get there by rubbing themself during intercourse.
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Thanks for the reply's! See its not just intercourse, I havn't had one at all with him, :frowning:. I don't think that I will through intercourse becuase it just doesn't feel as good as when hes going orally or maually..... I don't know what else to do :confused:. Does anyone know how to kind of push that "going to explode" feeling out and release that? Thanks so much!
Jordyn -
I feel your pain, I still haven't had an orgasm with my bf at all =/ I can feel myself getting there, but something will happen and it just wont happen.
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i was having the same problem i used the bullet while he was in me and man did it help.
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i ahve the same problem too. it'll be soo close but i just can't get past a certain point. and i can give myself orgasms pretty easily. but it takes a really long time when my boyfriend tries to, and so i just say that i had one so that he doens't have to work anymore. just becuase i feel bad that it takes so long and i know he wants to give me one. that's probably the wrong thing to do but he's getting closer to giving me one so hopefully one day it'll work.
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I wouldn't reccommend faking it.
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i'll be nice as i can about this. as much as u think u don't want to wear him out. it would be better to tell him the truth. tell him it's not him, but u just can't seem to orgasam right now. ur only "fluffing" up his confidence, not "building" it up, like it needs to be done.personally before my g/f and i got married her orgasaming was kinda rare. i mean fingering her did it the most but it wasn't all that great. however now that we're married she goes EVERY TIME (no lie) unless she just feels like making me cum cuz i'm so horney. we were dating for about 2 1/2 yrs and we've been married for 2 yrs. no i'm not exaggerating or making it up, take it how u want to.
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so if a girl doesnt get driven to a orgasm...its not always the guys fault?I mean with guys...if a girl is giving a guy a hand job and he does cum...well its the girls problem lol cuz i think we all realize guys can go pretty quick and easily lolSo hypotehticly a guy could be doing basicly a fine job...but the girl is the reason she isnt orgasming?
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The problem is that a guy is not a girl, and guys and girls function differenly. Some guys have absolutely no idea what they are doing, and some women appear to be unable to experience an orgasm, but in most cases the problem is one of lack of experience and poor communications.Once a woman knows what she likes and can describe it to her partner, and if her partner is able to listen and understand, the problem is usually solved.
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i had this problem with my b/f. im fine getting myself off, no problem but i just get 'there' to the finish line with him. i dont know, im not with him anymore but i think although i was very comfortable with him he was my first sexual partner-maybe physcologically i couldnt do it shrugs even though i am a very sexual person its a difficult one. i think if your confident enough and you can orgasm by yourslef you should show him yourself, just go for it. also, i think the problem with this is that now your always think 'o i really hope i orgasm tonight with him' which just makes it worse, you always thinking about orgasming when you should really be thinking how fun and sexy he is being to you. believe me i know exactly how you feel, its just fustration
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Good point. Probably the easiest way a woman can find out what she likes is through masturbation.
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very good points people, the other thing to to note about the differences is that women can somtimes cum just by thinking and no physical act, where as physically it can take a long time to cum or not cum at all. and the flip is true about guys, we can cum physically w/ realitive ease at times, where as just thinking really will not get us off.
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^^thats so true, sometimes ive even had multiple orgasms just from thinking
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When im with my boyfriend, I get orgasmis, short ones but they make me quiver and just make me wet but I cant really tell to much how wet. other times I get these huge explosions that make me quiver and moun for like 30 or so, and oh I just go nuts, i have also had some that have gone to 1 minute. I can tell instantly im went and my vagina is basiclly throbbign with blood cause i can hear my heart. Why do i have regular ones and then sometimes these huge ones? my boy friend said he actually saw me . . . ejaculate. . . how is that possible?