I don't know what to think, odd orgasm

---

Ok, first time posting here, so be gentle. :wink:

I'm 2o, been w. my girl for about a year and a half. Things just started getting "interesting" about a month ago. Just started to really explore below the belt. Now I should preface this with the fact that we are each other's first everything, so we've taken it fairly slow. Now I am a Biology major(She is too, but Botany), so I have a textbook knowledge of anatomy and function, but not practical in this case.

Anyway, to the actual question.
Whenever I am fingering her, I think I may be putting too much pressure on her clitoris or something to that effect. She seems to enjoy it, and tells me everything's ok(and i do believe her, don't get me wrong) Given that she's told me to her knowledge she's never had an orgasm prior to this, I don't know if she's misinterpreting this as what is normal or not. If she is having an orgasm, when she comes it's like she loses muscle control and twitches her legs arms etc. She actually got to the point last week of throwing me off the bed(smacked my head off a post, hurt like hell) It also does not take her long to get to this point at all. I was just wondering if it sounded like i was putting too much direct pressure on her clitoris, not arousing her enough and jumping in too soon, or just that i have a HIGHLY responsive g/f.

THX
ERS
PA

sounds like youre doing it right to me, judging by the way you described her reaction. if youre still worried though, ask her if theres any way you can make it better for her rather if youre doing it wrong though it sounds like shes enjoying herself to me

but hitting my head on posts hurts. :grin:

I have asked her numerous times if what I'm doing is cool, and what to do to make it feel better, but she honestly has no idea what feels good to her. Being a Biology major helps a little, but a textbook and a person are two different things. My whole approach is just trying stuff, if she says stop I stop, if not, its good. On the flipside, if what she's experiencing is not an orgasm, i don't want her to miss out on it because she doesnt know what it feels like. One of my friends always jokes when it comes to sex women are like giant control panels with randomly changing buttons that may or may not always work, guys are like a big lever with "PULL" written on it. And it looks like this post is getting pushed further and further down the forum list, so thanks for the input.

In reply to: One of my friends always jokes when it comes to sex women are like giant control panels with randomly changing buttons that may or may not always work, guys are like a big lever with "PULL" written on it. And how wise he is!!!

Nothing odd about that. The twitching and stuff is all "pre-orgasm", it's normal and not bad. I suggest to not just concentrate on the clit directly, but do circle just around it. Tell her to relax as much as possible and let it all happen on it's own. Believe me, when she has that orgasm (heavy breating, "burst" of emotion, screams/moans, etc) you will know!

Hm, if thats what you're calling "pre-orgasm", then she probably hasn't had one yet, because she usually wants me to stop shortly after she gets twitchy.

Personally whenever he plays with my clit too hard i get 'twitchy' and i can't cum at all............its just too intense its not actually nice for me, I have to be stroked or licked very softly, but firmly, too much pressure and i just don't get anywhere.

See that's what I was thinking. Seeing as she stops me shortly after she gets twitchy, and that she's never had an orgasm before, she might just think that's all there is and be validating the sensation as an orgasm. I've been proceeding as if it were an orgasm, so i'll try and change it up. Heh, if its not an actual orgasm, she's in for a pleasent surprise. Now the biologist in me wants to do a case study on how many women misinterpret really good sensations as orgasms, but that's just the bioligist in me(before any other bioligists ask, im not into other biologists being in me, sorry.) Thanks for the input.

My first g/f was like this. If I applied too much pressure, it would build up to the point where it would "tickle her" as she decribed it. After that she could not be touched for a while. I learned to be a little more gentle and slow, which paid off with her having orgasms.

i think you should just take your time too. its like with some guys they just head straight down there to your clit and start rubbing away..i think you should tease her a bit, to heighten the anticipation, be intimate with her whole body kissing her playing with her nipples etc and when you do go down yes play wit her clit gently but move around a bit and explore. i think i tend to go crazy if a guy only focuses on my clit, sure i can orgasm thru that but its never my best. maybe slip a finger up her, while your other finger is still on her clit, that feels good. and maybe when she does get twitchy maybe just go down on her and use your soft tongue to flick her clit which might be a bit more gentle :wink:

yea i can't really get her to orasam w/ my fingers. but oral and sex i can! oral she usually needs a little playfulness, like sticking a finger in her pussy, maybe sucking her clit rather than licking, or flicking it w/ my tongue, or just rubbing the clit w/ my fingers a lil bit. but towards the end it needs to be a constant thing. and it's cool cuz i know when she starts b/c her body tenses up, her breathing changes, somtimes her clit throbs, and somtimes she screams

heh, welllllllllllllllllll, we havent gotten to oral stuff yet, I mean it's not too far off cuz we've been doing everything else to the respective regions for about a month(part of the whole puzzle is don't get to see her that often. I will more now that we're moving in together at the end of the month). As far as teasing goes, not to toot my own horn(i think that's a topic for a different board ), but I'm good at everything leading up to vuvlar combat. I'm not a rushing in kind of guy, she really likes the ear nibbling, lil bit o biting, drawing circles on her thigh, kissing her stomach, run my hand through her hair, and and and >snaps out of it< ANYWAY! Part of your post brings up another question I may post seperately. She is very much a virgin, and her hymen is very much there. As far as this is concerned, do you think I should talk to her about vaginal stimulation now, wait till I can give her the added pleasure of oral stimulation, or wait until we have sex for the first time.

ok first off- you sound really sweet and patient and caring for your girlfriend's feelings. to me, that is the most important thing, really special. you sound like a special guy. I think your girlfriend is very lucky...

in answer to your question; I did quite a bit of therapy and what I found was, sex is complex in emotional terms. it links to all the major emotion centres in the brain. so it can arouse very powerful feelings, (like unresolved childhood experiences for instance) more than any other activity. sometimes it's like pulling the trigger on a very loaded gun!
so your girlfriend has idiosycratic responses, but it doesn't sound unusual to me. in fact, I'd say that it is happening because you are patient and loving with her, and she feels safe to let go...
I think it's great that you are able to communicate with her about it. I am sure she would tell you if you're putting too much pressure on her clit.
so, plus points to you, and don't worry, seems to me like it is going more than fine...
pod

Danke to the first part. See I know she would tell me but since she's never had an orgasm, I wanted to make sure she wasn't misinterpreting the sensation. Many people have stated that I may be, but it all comes down to talking to her.

tell her to masturbate and figure out what she likes to give herself and orgasm. i think that when a woman knows how to please herself then she can help the guy out better.

is sge 11 or something that cant cum???/???