I had a girlfriend several years ago. The sex was awesome and she would give me head everyday, and would swallow. It seems I cannot commit to one person for a very long time and we parted ways.Recently, she tells me that she misses the sex and giving me oral. She said she would love to give me oral on a daily basis, no strings attached.What would you do?
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Doing it just for the sex.................
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I would see this simply as temptation, but I think you already know it's not the right thing to do. Sure, some people would say "Go for it man! What could you lose?"In the end it's completely up to you, but since you asked. The moral decision would be to tell her "It's tempting, but it doesn't seem right." and save that part of yourself and your life for someone you're really in love with and someone who loves you back in the same way.It can sound just like what all the goody goody people would tell you, but it's what'd make you happier in the end. Remember you can have as much meaningless sex as you want, but 1,000,000 meaningless sexual experiences doesn't equal 1 meaningful sexual experience.Hope it helps.
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In the end it's up to you.
But I personally wouldn't do it. Friends with benfits just doesn't work IMO.
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Some people (perhaps most?) can separate sex from love. I find them synonymous. I had sex "one time" on the first date and frankly I felt disgusted with myself afterwards. It was no better than masturbation and it was like I used her body for a waste dump and that was all she was for. However it was ok with her and she wanted to continue the relationship. When I would see her I was repulsed by her allowing it and disgusted with myself for doing it. Loss of respect. I know from experience what it's like with and without the emotional attachment. Sex with the strong emotional attachment is much better for me. It becomes a whole body, internal and external, experience. My best buddy often has sex with 3-4 different girls each week. Some are younger, some are older, some are married and some are not. I keep telling him that his number is going to come up one of these days. Oh well, to each his own!
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great point Resurrection, just simply awesome. my advice?the problem w/ her willing to give it up w/ no attachment probably stems from a broken relationship (probably w/ her dad). which sux b/c by allowing her to do such things it makes her feel approved, wanted, loved. she says no strings attached but that's only cuz she wants u to let her so she will feel loved. (kinda a catch 22 eh?)it's a bad idea tho. YOU may not be attached, but she will be to you. and allowing this will affect ur other relationships in the future, thinking that girls don't want you b/c they don't compare to her.
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You have some very rigid ideas on relationships. Believe it or not, there are people who've had a sexual liaison early on, and have gone on to long, fulfilling relationships and marriages. When you use words like "disgusted" and "waste dump", I get the feeling that, deep down, you consider the act of sex to be dirty.I agree that the storybook romance is the ideal, but it's not always available. To put it coarsely, casual sex is like a hamburger, and sex in the context of a deeply loving relationship is like a filet mignon (my apologies to the vegetarians). An ideal relationship is something to aspire to, but I don't think we should make blanket judgments about other people's sex lives.________________________________________________________That covered the general case. 4wDr, in your specific case, I'd really have to wonder about your ex's motivation. I mean, seriously, what is the gain for her in giving you oral sex every day? If there are residual feelings from you former relationship, it could be a big problem. I am seriously skeptical about the "no strings" idea.
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I'm not sure that it's a good way to get HIV, but it's a good way to get something bad.
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Well.... I'd do it, but its yer decision
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just do itoh, btw, there will be strings attached.
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Seriously, just do it. Because later you will regret that you didnt take that offer lol
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btw, welcome aboard Ramone's fan!
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I have many lady friends.. And am a lady myself.. I am not saying it isn't possible, but it is unlikely that a female enjoys giving head so much that she would do it every day for nothing in return.. Ive yet to meet a female who actually ENJOYED giving head just for the simple act.. Usually females give head to get something in return, oral sex, intercourse, etc. However....... I have met women (and used to be this way myself!) that will give head for nothing in return because it gives them a feeling of being needed, wanted, liked, etc. I'm not saying this is the same as your situation, because for all I know she could just like having a mans genitals in her mouth, who knows.. But in my eyes it is highly unlikely..If what I'm saying is true, and she is giving you head as a way to feel needed or liked then I would advise you not to go through with the little deal.. Not only because it would be feeding a problem that needs to be solved on her end, but also because it is highly unlikely that it will be "no strings attached".. Anyway, the decision is ultimately yours.. But don't let your penis overrule your brains on this one.. Think is through and decide whats best.. Keeping what you know about this girl, her background, and what you know about yourself and your own background in mind.. Hugs,AG
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**As Mr U said, there WILL be strings...........even if you don't feel anything about her, she will about you, i guarantee it........For me blowjobs mean something, so im thinking on her part there is a lot more to this than meets the eye. Maybe she wants you back and this is a way of going about it..........whatever hon, you will do what you want anyway :smile: **
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Some great advice given. Thanks for all the feedback.I know the oral is awesome. She is wild about the sex as well. I never had it so great when we were together. I am really worried about the "no strings attached" as some have mentioned. It was bad enough when we parted ways. I'm not sure I want to go through that again.It's not as if I'm a sex hound either. I love sex and as one guy said, who would turn down a bj? She is so good with her hands as well..............
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dude if u give into this thinking it's ONLY sex, ur screwed and we alll warned you. so don't come crying.....
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There will be strings attached? I kind of believe the girl I had sex with, was starting to get attached just a bit. I dunno.
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Are you directing that at me?
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I didn't reply to your post, so I'm not sure what you mean.
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When you posted this" You have some very rigid ideas on relationships. Believe it or not, there are people who've had a sexual liaison early on, and have gone on to long, fulfilling relationships and marriages. When you use words like "disgusted" and "waste dump", I get the feeling that, deep down, you consider the act of sex to be dirty. I agree that the storybook romance is the ideal, but it's not always available. To put it coarsely, casual sex is like a hamburger, and sex in the context of a deeply loving relationship is like a filet mignon (my apologies to the vegetarians). An ideal relationship is something to aspire to, but I don't think we should make blanket judgments about other people's sex lives. "I wasn't sure who you were talking to.
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If you look at the top of the post in question, you will see re: canon. That is who I was talking to.