So I've had this girlfriend for around 2 and a half years. And its been the biggest roller coaster ride you can imagine. If you can think of it, we've been through it. Anyways, my question is, she hasn't been interested in my sexually for the past half year to a year and a half. What I mean is, she doesn't want to do anything, no even make out. Its almost as if she doesn't find me attractive. For the first year, we'd have sex pretty often and do other stuff. She never really actually into the stuff, and it was usually my idea and I had to initiate the stuff. Heres some side things to put into consideration. We're both 16 almost 17. Shes been on these drugs for over a year that make her have a period only every 3 months. She's also taking some medication right now to try and keep her calm (She's almost bi-polar IMO).Is it wrong to want some of this stuff in a relationship? I mean making out, doing other stuff other than sex even. What do you guys think.
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Is it me?
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You really need to have a long talk about this. It may be that she has found religious scruples; but it seems more likely that she doesn't find you physically attractive, and I think if so you should break off the relationship, because it's not likely to change. The physical side is only part of a relationship, but it's still important.
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Well, we're only getting a limited view of your relationship, but I'd say: HELL NO!I'm sorry, but at the point you're at in your relationship, intimacy is a part of it, even though you're both a bit young to begin with. However, if you've been intimate in the past and have been going together for at least 18 months, you have a right to expect intimacy to continue. As I told someone else in a different thread, you know what you need and shouldn't settle for less. Keep in mind, however, that certain medications for mental conditions can inhibit the libido, so that could be the issue. Have you discussed any of this with her? If it is the medication and not something more personal, there are many other medications that could help with her condition without the side effects.
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Thankyou guys for your comments.
I am thinking that it may be from all the medication. Also, shes never really enjoyed sex ever. In the beginning when we had it she said it never really felt good but just went along with it. Now when we have it she's in pain and doesn't get any pleasure from it.
I was thinking that I might be too big and her being younger may not be able to take it.
She says she doesn't want to make out because then I get all excited and want more stuff that she doesn't want to give.Also at different medications. I don't think it would be a good idea to ask her parents for a different medication so she'll start being horny again. Lol
Even though it bothers me, were not married and I think I can get by without doing sexual stuff together, (even though I try to do something almost everytime I go over)
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What medication is she on? Certainly some antidepressants decrease libido. However it seems she has never enjoyed it much, so I don't think changing medication will make things all right, though it may make things a little better.You shouldn't try to do stuff if you know she doesn't like it.
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Well for about the first year she had the urge for everything, but never got any satisfaction afterwards. So thats what probably. I'm not sure of the exact medications but I'll ask her for the names. I don't really force her to do anything. I might just start nibbling her neck or something and see what her reaction is. 90% of the time its no, not tonight.She just doesn't like me to cum.I just wish we could have some intimate moments doesn't even have to be sex.Is asking to much?
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I don't ever like asking this question, but how much do you know about her sexual history? People who don't find sex enjoyable and don't want to do it sometimes have something sexual in there past that is not something they wanted. Now, I'm not saying that's the case, but I've dated two women who were molested as children and sex wasn't always easy. I'm probably wrong--I certainly hope so!--and I have no basis for this other than what you've told me and my own personal experiences, but the kind of things you're describing always make an alarm bell go off in my head.All the best!
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Well,
I'm highly certain she wasn't molested before we started dating. When we first got together we would stay up till 430 in the morning on school nights talking. Theres really nothing that we had kept from each other then. She would have told me.
Even if she hadn't, I'm pretty positive she hasn't been molested.Tonight I was over at her house and I said I wanted to talk to her about us. (She always hates it when I want to talk about our relationship.) I told her that it makes me feel sad when she doesn't want to kiss me or anything.
Weird thing is she told me that she either wants sex or nothing. I didn't really know what to say to that. I asked her about not wanting to kiss me and she replied that we've been kissing for 3 years and she's tired of it. So I asked that if she was married and after 3 years would she tell her husband she doesn't want to kiss him anymore and she said maybe. :frowning:I dunno anymore
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It sounds like she is depressed.
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have you tried to rush the base ..... i mean like burst in , condoms in one hand , lube in the other and say LETS HAVE SEX and see what she says (maybe a cape as well)
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sorry that made me laugh, tho i would have suggested a cool 'theme' tune music track too...DA DA DAAAAAAAAAA hands on hips............. that kinda thing
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i try bows i was thinking more 70's disco tunes
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My friend, there are two things you can do: put up with it and hope she comes around or move on. My suggestion is the latter. If you've tried to talk and get to the heart of the issue and she's not willing, find someone who is. Life is WAY too short and there are probably millions of women out there who would love your attention. She obviously has issues she needs to work on. Unless you're ready for years of hard work, cut your losses and run.