Damn! I said i wouldnt do this!

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My condolences, it seems you are in the friend’s stage.That is never good. Never give up, never surrender. Bit of a poxy saying, but I like it.Quick update of my situation. I ended up telling the girl I want tonight my feelings for her. I believe she is actually considering me, leaving her BF of 18 months for me. Damn, I’m good. But I’ll probably find out she won't want to throw what she has away. But the fact that she is considering shows there must be something there.Mr. Nuts

I was in absolute misery today, even the afore mentiond girl noticed. i had 2 girls come over and hug me and 1 gave me a kiss on the cheek, alas, the missery persisted, and guess waht, SHE DIDNT REALLY BREAK UP WITH HER BF!!!!! women are so confusing, and they hurt so much, maybe i should tel lehr why i was so misrible today...

You can tell her if you want. But be prepared for rejection.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

heh heh, stolen one of my sayings eh? ... well, that's okay good advice if ever I heard it... anyway, gotta reply to our young friend here now... as for the "Friends zone" dude, you just have to break out of your little quagmire that you seem to have gotten yourself into, sometimes, you have to risk it all... if you don't tell her, then, you'll never know how she feels... how do you know this other guy for example, wasn't just a ploy to get you to open up ... trust me, women are just this devious sometimes, and, I don't mean this in a bad way to all the women who will intepret it as such, merely that they try and save themselves any unnecessary hurt by using a "defensive" approach to dealing with things ... oh, the joys of being a man, and having to try and interpret these signs :S lolAnyway dude, good luck... if you wanna cheer yourself up some, then, check out a film called: Just Friends never know, might just prove to be your inspiration ... it's obviously a funny, but, some of those films have given me the inspiration to do things I wouldn't normally lolAnyway, anymore help required, you know where I am Dan

Well, going on some advice that C'C gave me, I'm thnking I'll just move on, keep my eyes and ears open, but move on

You should have been honest with her about your being hurt. It may have all been a test to see your reaction, to see whether you really do like her or not.

Why do you think that men do not hurt? Do you think it is cool not to hurt, hence you acted tough? You're a fool for thinking this, as it has probably screwed you over even moreso. She may now think that you don't care for her much at all.

Women like to hear that you love them, even if they already know it. She may have wanted to hear that you were feeling hurt by it all.

It takes more of a man to confront and reveal his feelings, than to hide them/ignore them/run from them.

well, its a good thign i didnt tell ehr, cuase it turns out she haddn't really broken up with her BF in the first place

Well, no it's not! Who's to say that she wouldn't have broken up with him if you had said, "Yes, I am hurt, and yes, I want you". She may well have broken it off with him if she honestly knew that you were into her.Honesty is the best policy. Why do you want to live life trying to be someone that you are not (ie: lieing about your feelings)?

Would that apply to a married woman also? "I love you. Please leave your husband."What if you were gay and you had a straight male friend you had the hots for?

No, I just think that she was borderline break up and was 'feeling the water' with rybapocalypse. It's obviously a case-by-case thing.Would you not agree that it's best to show what you're truly feeling, rather than acting around being something that you are not? Is that something you do frequently?

We don't have any objective information on how close this girl was to actually leaving her boyfriend. It's not that no one ever splits, but it's talked about more than it's done. Another problem is that a girl in a relationship often knows the effect she has on a guy friend, consciously or not, and keeping the guy infatuated with her serves her own purposes. Yet another problem is where the girl splits with her boyfriend, but still has feelings for him. Then the guy friend becomes the third leg of a messed-up emotional triangle. The worst possibility is that the girl will cheat on her boyfriend out of anger, to punish him; that kind of thing happens a lot.It's a tough thing to jump into one of those situations as a first relationship, especially when you're already infatuated with the person you're going after.You're questions remind me of the situation comedies where the protagonist is forced to be completely frank in everything he says. You would be a social pariah if you did that. It's good to openly express your feelings, but it's not always appropriate.

sooo, I think what you r trying to say...Is that i did the right thing by not tellign her why i was hurt? or did i miss read that?

You did the "wrong thing" by falling for a girl who was in a relationship, but you can't help the fact that you're human.In my opinion, you'd be better off looking elsewhere for a relationship. This girl sounds pretty flaky. In any case, if you told her how you felt, it could change the nature of your relationship, but I'm guessing you're all doe-eyed around her, and she probably gets it, if she has a clue.If hanging out with her is keeping you from pursuing other relationships, then it's a problem.

I am not "doe eyed!" never in my life have my eyes been doed! -_- I do not follow her around like some stupid puppy, we hang out, we actually have fun together, she's coming to a movie tomorrow with me, she called me yesterday at 9 in the morning and tomorrow i get to return the favor...

did you ever think that you like her because your not allowed too... the very fact that you told yourself... I'm not going to fall for her.

hmmm, that could be part of it i supose, I must have a complex or something, every girl I've been remotely intrested in has had a BF, either that or I have really good taste but am to slow

hmmm, that could be part of it i supose, I must have a complex or something, every girl I've been remotely intrested in has had a BF, either that or I have really good taste but am to slow

hmmm, that could be part of it i supose, I must have a complex or something, every girl I've been remotely intrested in has had a BF, either that or I have really good taste but am to slow

She has no idea how you feel? I wonder how clueless she really is...> every girl I've been remotely intrested in has had a BFThe "good" thing about that is, nothing is really risked. If you asked out (or asked to hang out with you) some random girl and she said no, then you couldn't tell yourself, "Well of course, she has a boyfriend!" It's also easier to talk to a girl who's in a relationship, because it's not obvious that you're interested in a relationship with her, so you don't have to put yourself out there.Falling for girls who are in relationships is not likely to get you a relationship, and if a girl did dump her boyfriend to be with you, how do you know she wouldn't turn around and do the same to you the following week?It's good to have female friends, to help you become more comfortable hanging out with and talking to girls. But it would be a lot better to go after a girl with whom you weren't in the friend zone.

In reply to: if a girl did dump her boyfriend to be with you, how do you know she wouldn't turn around and do the same to you the following week? My response:Because I am exceptional.You believe that just because someone decides that their relationship has gone stale in pursuit of a better one, it not worth having?I see where you are coming from; trust is probably the most important part of a relationship. But I wouldn't decide against a relationship with a girl getting rid of their boyfriend for me. Interestingly that is my situation now, I hope she will dump him for me. But I am not going to hold my breath.Mr. Nuts