This summer was easily going to be the best ever. I could picture late nights with my best friends, bonfires, water fights, etc. I am getting my license next month and buying my first car after months of saving up. I was just in general really excited.Now, today is the first day of summer, and my life has taken a complete shit. A couple of weeks ago, my mom went out of town and I had three of my friends over. We got drunk and my mom found out. I was grounded up until just recently. So now, I'm finally ungrounded. Today, my friend invited me to come over (one of the ones that got drunk) and my mom won't let me hang out with her anymore. We have been absolute best friends since 3rd grade, and over one mistake, my mom is deeming her a terrible person.I told my mom about the only 2 other times I have ever drank alcohol in my life, which were at this girl's house after her mom bought it for us. And even then, I barely drank anything and I was completely honest with my mom. Still, she won't even let me go to this girl's house for a couple of hours. Her mom and my mom are a whole 'nother story because they have been on bad terms with each other for about two years now. I feel like my mom is partially taking that out on me.I understand that what I did was wrong, and I told myself that I will never do it again...but honestly, I think it's too much for me to never be able to hang out with her again. We have been friends for almost ten years now. It's not fair. Honestly, there has been NOTHING else that we have ever done to where my mom would think she's a bad influence on me or whatever.I'm also not allowed to see the other two friends that got drunk with us that night. Of course, these friends were some of my best friends. I can't deal with not being able to see them...seriously I can't.On top of all of this, the rest of my friends that I looked forward to spending the summer with have just started completely ignoring me...so that's cool too. I will have no friends this summer?My mom and I have also been on bad terms for awhile and I have been wanting to move out. She gives me shit for every single thing she possibly can and she always acts like I'm such a terrible kid. I will admit that I made a mistake a few times with the alcohol, but I have NEVER done anything else to piss her off like that. Never experimented with drugs, never really lied to her about ANYTHING. I'm 16, I have had a steady job since I was 14. I pay my own phone bill, I buy my own shit (the laptop I'm typing on, my clothes, everything). I have a fucking 4.27 GPA at school but do I ever get any recognition for that? No, I just get bitched at about every single little thing. That reminds me of about this time last summer. I went out to a movie with my friends one night. I came home and my mom was drunk, telling ME that my eyes looked bloodshot. So she assumed I was out doing drugs. I denied it over and over again because I would never do drugs and neither would the friends I was with...but she wouldn't leave me alone. She stormed into my room and kept yelling at me so I called my dad and asked if I could stay at his house that night because I wanted to get away from my mom. She then persisted to throw my fan to the ground and push me on my bed, screaming "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON?". I kicked her back and ran outside until my dad got there. I never got any apology from my mom about that.Just this past weekend, even, we went to Indiana and I brought my friend (ex boyfriend) with me. Even he noticed the short temper my mom had with me when I wasn't even doing anything wrong. There were times I would go out of my way to try to be polite to her and she would yell at me and treat me like shit anyways.So today, after my mom told me I couldn't see my friends anymore, I left for my dad's house. I am so sick of living with her and that was just the last straw. She is a drunk bitch and I recently found out through my friend that she smoked (maybe still does smoke?) weed. Fucking loser. I wish I could move in with my dad but he just signed a lease agreement on a condo that doesn't have enough bedrooms for me to live with him. My friend that I'm not allowed to see offered to let me live with her (her mom even insisted) but I know I won't be allowed to, so I am stuck with my sorry ass excuse for a mother until I'm 18.So yeah, so much for this summer. I was looking forward to it so much...my last summer before I graduate and it's going to suck ass. I don't know what to do. I want my friends back. All of them. And I want to be on good terms with my mom but no matter what I do, I can't get along with her. I have tried SO many times talking things out with her but nothing works.Sorry for ranting like that...but I need some advice. Some words of encouragement, even. If any of you read all of that, I appreciate it a LOT. Right now, the only person I feel like I have is my ex boyfriend who has always been here for me even since I broke up with him and have treated him like shit. He is always here for me and that means a lot, but that's a whole 'nother story.
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So Much for this Summer.
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I am sorry, that's rough. :frowning:
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dude how old are you? If I were you (this is just me but .. :grin:) I would tell your mom how you really feel about not being able to see these friends of yours and if she still says something like "hell no :angry: not after what happend with you guys getting drunk" id just leave and go chill at their houses. Up to you :smile:
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I'm 16, so there's nothing I can really do about it. But trust me, I tried talking to her about it yesterday, and again today. She won't budge. What she doesn't realize is that she won't keep me from being friends with them. I don't know why she bothers.Now she has her stupid boyfriend calling me at my dad's house, saying "You know it's not your choice who you live with. You're not 18."...fucking idiot. Isn't the age where you get to pick which parent you live with in Michigan like 16 or something? Not that it's any of his business anyways. All he should be worrying about is getting drunk with my mom.
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What's going on with your mom stress wise? and how are you talking to her? Often times parents can be reasonable, depends on how you approach them and what added stress is going on in their lives. I mean, if you try and just spend a day with your mom talking and doing things you both enjoy, you might be able to not only help with her drinking, but get your summer rules loosened up a bit.
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My mom has no reason to be stressed at all. That's another thing that really bothers me. She doesn't work...her boyfriend supports us all (err I guess I should say supports HER, considering I pay for all of my own crap).
So she doesn't have to work, there are no underlying family troubles or anything that I know of that she has to deal with...she honestly doesn't do anything except drive me and pick me up from school. And even then, she'd pick me up from school at 3pm and still be in her pajamas. I hate how she acts like she's so stressed. I know plenty of moms who would love to have life as easy as she has it.
She even used to complain to drive me to my friend's house who was literally a 7 minute car drive away. Or whenever I want to drive to get practice before I take my road test, she won't let me. Like when she needs to drive to the store anyways, I'll ask if I can drive to get practice and she'll be like "I just want to go and come right back home...today's been so stressful."
And as far as me talking to her...I asked her the other day if I could go to that girl's house on Friday. She said she wasn't crazy about the idea, so I left it alone. Today, I asked again and she basically went off on me, saying that she doesn't trust the girl's mom or the girl...even though I was only asking to go there for a couple of hours. I calmly asked her if we could talk about it, and she yelled at me some more. I went in my room and cried, and about 15 minutes later she came in yelling even more. I never yelled back. I never gave any attitude to her. I didn't deserve to be yelled at. It shouldn't be so impossible for me to have a decent talk with her without her blowing up at me.
And honestly, I have tried spending time with her before this all happened. I hate being with her. I would try telling her about funny stuff that happened with my friends that day and stuff, and she would just be like "Ok...". Every time I would do anything with her like go to the mall or anything, she would want to leave right away. She hates being away from home, and when we're home she's always with her boyfriend and there's never any time for just me and her to "bond".
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Is there any counselling available to you? Counselling by someone who knows the law as it applies to people in your situation in particular might be helpful. Since you're underage, you may be able to get some counselling through Child Protection Services or an abused child hotline.
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Do you really think it's that bad to the point where I should look into counseling? I mean, I do tend to overreact sometimes, but I have had a lot of time to think about this and I don't think I'm overreacting at all. I just don't want to live with her anymore.
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I'm not suggesting the sort of counselling that deals with emotions - you know better than I whether that would be helpful or not - so much as the advisory sort, the sort that can help you work through your options.