Should a guy (I) be mad when a girl (my gf) says a guy is hot (even if I know she doesn't LIKE him...like at all..not just that she doesn't like "like" him, ...she thinks he's immature), but thinks he's hot/would do him??? Also, "future husband," gets on my nerves...should that bother me or am I just being too ... obsessive? And well I guess any hot guy/likes him or not, she will say to her friends (even around me) that he's hot...should that ideally make me upset/mad? I don't let her know that it irks me, bc I wouldn't want her not to say it just to appease me, but still think it...bc that solves nothing.. but should I even be mad about it?Sorry for the rant/choppy sentences, I'm just kidna upset about this and typing quickly..
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Guys...girls, too, I guess...
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How does she feel if you say another girl is hot?I don't think there should be a difference in what girls and guys can say. But I think it's best if we don't take offense at the fact that our partner does find someone else attractive, because that is quite natural and always happens. However, it is polite to avoid upset by not expressing that attraction out loud in the presence of a partner.Is she calling you "future husband"? That would be meant as a compliment, though also a hint on where she stands.
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You shouldn't get mad or upset over it but decorum would dictate that she not say such things in front of you. It natural for everyone to find someone attractive that is not their partner. I think it would be within reason to ask her, in a non-confrontational way, not to say such things in front of you.
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I don't generally say another girl is hot around her, just my guy friends or other female friends, maybe, but not her that I can think of.I know that everyone will always look or even think/say, and that's why I don't really wanna say anything to her about it, b/c I don't want her NOT to say it just b/c it may upset me, if it's really how she feels. People shouldn't have to censor themselves in relationships.And no, the person she called future husband was just some hot guy at a camp to which she and a mutual friend went, and I just happened to see it on their facebooks. So I don't wanna sound creepy/stalkerish/clingy about that, either.
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"People shouldn't have to censor themselves in relationships."Wrong, wrong, wrong... wrong, wrong, wrong.. wrong, wrong, wrong...Wrong.We censor ourselves in a relationship out of consideration for the one we care about. It's simple respect for another's feelings.If she's going on about other guys in front of you then she either has no respect for you and your feelings or quite simply has no social grace and was never taught discretion. If you tell her it bothers you and she continues then she doesn't care about your feelings. If you tell her it bothers you let it drop and she no longer mentions such things then she's gained an acumen in social skills that will serve her throughout life.We also sensor ourselves so we don't have to listen to her bitch about something for days on end.
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Lol. I knew I would get that. Yes, I know what you mean...but I Haven't told her that it bothers me because I wasn't sure if it should...I thought there should be a reason, and I would expect her to be upset if I were talking about some girl's being hot around her. It's not like it's all the time. Maybe a few fleeting times...three at most. And one wasn't even around me. But yes, I censor what I think sometimes and I'm sure so does she, just to keep each other happy, but to some extent, you should be able to share your feelings with the other person; if you're always keeping your mouth shut not to piss off somebody, you've got some hell of a relationship.
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I'd be a bit concerned if my gf called another guy "future husband". It sounds like a lack of commitment.
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Sorry! Insecurities... Yeah need to get over them people especially in a relationship...It's just how I feel
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Well not really...it's just more of a way she and her friends say oh he's hot, I guess. And the friend she told was my really-close cousin, so... not as drastic as it sounds. It was a one-time thing at summer camp, while I'm at a different summer camp lol. But yes, I see what you're saying.@Roc: I see what you mean, too. Because realistically, she does love me and we can talk about anything and everything, and I'm sure she wouldn't be mad if I told her this made me upset, but I wouldn't really want to either. We are really close, but this is just something that struck me as odd, I guess. But would you say it'd be insecure if it were reversed? If I said a girl were hot around her, and she be upset, even if she didn't tell me??
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Is that better or worse when than what I used to do?When I was single, with in minutes of taking some skank out for the first time, or picking them up in a bar and getting blown in the bathroom stall, Id run into friends and introduce her as my future ex wife.Note, I have never introduced Julz as that.
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I usually try not to say certain things about guys being attractive around my bf. If you're secure about yourself and your relationship then it shouldn't be a problem. I'll tell my BF I think a guy is cute but he'll always be the most attractive to me. He'll tell me a girl is cute but he's always told me I'm the most beautiful woman he's every laid eyes on so... we don't get jealous when we say certain things.
The future husband thing I'd take a little more seriously though...
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Yeah, I see what you mean, and I mean I know we love each other and want to get married some day, so I'm not really jealous--just thought it was kinda strange. I'm not sure that the "future husband" thing was really serious either, just something ppl say like omg he's so hot future husband! But idk..I seem to be defending her after asking a question lol so I guess I must not be too jealous/upset about it...It's been a few days though lol. Thanks for all your input; it helps to hear from both guys & girls about it, too.
